Ballet on Monday, Judo on Tuesday, Violin on Wednesday…

My eldest is year 1 and I’ve noticed a massive range amongst his friends and classmates. At this stage there is still a really big difference between oldest and youngest in the year, before you take personality and logistics into account.

DS does:—
swimming 1 day after school - which I see as a necessity rather than a hobby (I wouldn’t want him taking it seriously as I think competitive swimming is so miserable) so he will give that up once he can swim to a good level

football on a Saturday morning which he enjoys but isn’t passionate about - I think team sports are great for kids and football is especially useful for boys

violin - 1 30 min lesson a week plus daily practice - he loves this.

He has said he wants to do Beavers and Karate as well and is on the waiting list for those, but I don’t especially think he needs any more for now.

Children need down time they need to be board sometimes. So many parents run around like headless chickens stressing themselves and their children out don't fall for it.

My kids are busy, I'm not pushy and really appreciate school hols. They're just curious, energetic and passionate about certain things. Like others say, some of their activities are linked to school, so I just pick them up later. Others take more effort (swimming!), or are just drop-offs/pick-ups. They do homework either before school or when their sibling is at their activity. They don't exactly have a lot to do, and for the Y2 it's optional. They all read, or are read to daily. Occasionally with a bit of support from Yoto! It sounds a lot on paper, but logistically it isn't really.

I was very much against loads of activities for my kids, but they just seem to keep picking them up! DD1 does dance, swimming, singing and coding, then PQA on Saturday mornings. Aside from this she plays piano for 1-3 hours every day. DD2 only did swimming, then we were roped into Rainbows/Brownies and now she has joined a gymnastics squad for 9-12 hours a week. She also plays piano, but her practice is 20 minutes maximum. At this point DD3 doesn't do anything outside of nursery apart from an occasional baby ballet class. Hopefully we can keep it at that level for as long as possible!

Extra curriculars are definitely more of a thing now than when I was small. My kids do a lot but I’m definitely not pushy where I’m trying to make them brilliant at everything. Really I just want them to be able to swim because childhood is the easiest time to learn this.

I would always prioritise play - it’s so important, it’s the work of childhood and I’m lucky that my kids can play out with neighbouring kids in a safe space.

There is definitely a balance and that balance absolutely depends on your child and what they want to do and what they are able for.

Logistics make a big difference - mine (y2) do clubs / extracurriculars 6 days a week, but 4 of those days are via school and are basically an extension of the school day. They also do music lessons but within school hours. Mine are home before 5pm every day, and so no problem doing 10-20 minutes of homework 5 nights a week. In other years where I was ferrying them to classes in other parts of town it felt more hectic, and I wouldn’t have managed homework as well.

most of the activities my dc pursue now are restorative as well - swimming multiple days a week is a physical outlet, they do a yoga and meditation class once a week. We aren’t too serious about anything, and they are only committed one term at a time. If something sticks and becomes a lifelong passion that’s great, but at this stage I focus on giving a broad range of experiences while also trying to balance physical and mental health.

As so many others have said, there is no ‘right’ number of activities. However your daughter is year 1, and does a pretty low level f activity. I would be a bit concerned if she was too tired to do 15 minutes homework on a regular school day to be honest. Is she just used to being able to make a fuss and not do things she doesn’t want to?
I do think the learning the skill set so they don’t miss the boat to have the option to play a sport is relevant. My 8yo does basketball, swimming, piano and tennis, tennis is just before school, plus football alternating with athletics for summer and winter. He is a child that bounces off the walls. My 5yo does swimming football and athletics weekends and tennis before school. They both have to do their reading just about every night and other homework too some nights.

My children have been in wrap around until 6 plus activities since the get go. If they couldn't cope they’d have no choice re the wrap-around and it would be the activities that I’d drop-down but for kids not in wrap-around, there really is nothing that demanding about an activity every evening.

Your posts are a bit judgy though - even your last one has the aside about not doing homework. I suspect the kid doing the activities is probably completely up to speed with homework if they are also fitting in violin practice. Often busy people just get shit done with no faffing.

Also, we don't do any breakfast club or after school club and we live 5 min walk from school, so she probably spends more time chilling at home compared to dc using wraparound care all week.

Dd is in Year 1 and she is busy all the time. She's in a north London prep and it's fairly typical. Activities 5 days a week after school, swimming lesson Saturday, dance class Sunday. She's always keen to do an activity so I just embrace it. DH takes her to the weekend activities, and 2 of the after school activities are in a different location that I take her to. The other 3 are at her prep school, and 2 of them are activities that I wouldn't have gone out of my way to take her to, but it's an easy extra fun session with her friends so why not. I just collect her an hour later on those days.

We have busy weekends. We like to visit places in London and I book a lot of plays/concerts/activity sessions, and have lists of child-friendly attractions to try out, so we have something to do every weekend. Not much travelling though.

She's always had later bedtimes (9pm) so she still gets music practice, spellings etc put of the way. She is happy being on-the-go, and has always been like this (daily baby/toddler classes and busy active holidays). She responds badly to too much screen time so it helps to have her active and out of the house.

We have another DD who is 2 and it's definitely crossed my mind how on earth I'll juggle everything when she is school-aged and wants to do her own activities! We don't have GPs who can help but we have the finances for extra childcare if necessary, I just hope it will work out with doing some activities at school and taking them both to some of the same activities on the same day.

Also year 1, we do three after-school clubs a week and none on the weekend.

We don't really have screens (bit of TV after dinner only during the week) and only reading/spelling to do for homework. He likes just playing with his Lego/sister/in the garden the two afternoons that we're home.

TBH I think three is one too many for him, but swimming is compulsory and he likes the other two.

They're all so different! DS hated being told what to do (still does), so a whole day of school was more than enough and he didn't want any other organised activities. DD was the complete opposite, school didn't touch the sides and she wanted to try as many clubs as we'd let her.

Our primary school wasn't into homework. Even to y6 nothing that couldn't be knocked off in 20 minutes on a Sunday afternoon.

Yes, I agree with that too. I have three teens and they all play sport and two of them are musical. I think it helps keep them out of trouble!

Completely agree, DD’s long term mental health was a big motivating factor in getting her to try out a few activities. I want her to do at least one team sport, I think traditionally men have been better at keeping up team sports post education and I think it’s a positive for men who engage with it. I want that for DD.

If I had less time I’d pick a couple for her to try out and try to find something she really enjoys.

I think you have to look at it backwards. My (totally anecdotal) observation is that happy teenagers tend to have a hobby or sport they are involved in. If it is outdoors, all the better.

It's really hard to take up something new as a teenager, because there are a bunch of people in every activity who have been doing it since they were little who are already skilled- and what teenager wants to look like a noob.

So, I think at 7/8/9 it is worth trying out quite a few activities to try to fine one that has a chance of surviving into the teenage years. Yes, teenagers give up their hobbies, but they are much more likely to keep one going if it is a habit by then.

A lot of children's activities are only half an hour or 45 minutes so whilst it sounds like a lot, it's not actually that taxing. My summer born was never exhausted by Reception in the way a lot of MNers seem to describe though. Age 5, they do 3 and sometimes 4 activities a week plus after school club one day. We're limited by the hours we work rather than our child being too tired/needing more time at home.

Mine play loads of sport and always have barring Covid years. They are now in year 7 and year 5 and between them do 8 sessions and 3 after school clubs at the school. I am lucky that we share lifts with other parents and I co-parent with an involved ex so he does a lot to. I genuinely enjoy watching them compete and we are fortunate we can.

in year one they did a bit less and it was maybe twice mid week and a Saturday morning.

My DD had a similar schedule to yours when she was small.

Did breakfast club at school as well due to my start times and then tended to be one after school club (for fun, not necessity) and one out of school activity at a time eg brownies, drama, piano lessons.

I’ve always been a bit baffled by people who want/need to cram their/their child’s every waking moment with activities tbh but I guess we’re all different.

DD is now 19 and chooses to be busy most of the time but is chilling out a bit now she’s got a uni workload to contend with!

In year 1 mine only had swimming lessons and one musical instrument.

Now between them we have a full schedule but individually they have nights off. I try and keep Saturday free. Sunday is football

I think mine would watch screens all the time if I let them, hence why we do activities.

Same. He has never been one to occupy himself industriously reading about the solar system or building electrical circuits, so he does cubs, parkrun, football, more football, and lots of playdates. And he still spends way too much time on screens (he is playing the untitled goose game right now while waiting to go to junior parkrun ).

It doesn't matter what everyone else does. Do what is best for your child. Personally, I think spending time with them but also allowing them to be on their own, learning how to amuse themselves is an important life lesson. It feeds their imagination. No to screens as well.

My ds only ever did swimming. He was in asc until 5:30pm, 4 days a week. On my day off, I choose swimming for him to do as it's a life skill. Would have been nice to do more, but that was life.

I agree that each child / family is different. My DC did lots of activities but whatever works for you is fine!