Parenting a (possibly) musical kid

OP a digital Yamaha should be enough for a beginner, just make sure you get one with weighted keys. We bought Yamaha P-45 on advice from our teacher from JD and it lasted until grade 5 with no problem. It does feel slightly different to the proper piano still, but if it's OK for JD I guess it's OK generally.

Brass is perfect for socialising, happy children and parents and lots of fun. Trumpet can be competitive though higher up the grades. My DD plays it - it's a very versatile instrument, and local schools scholarships aplenty, especially for girls, but brass bands etc are not so easy to get into. It could be better in the north I guess as lots of really good brass bands are there.

There aren't many very young French Horn players, most seem to be handpicked to move on from a trumpet or cornet once their pitch ability has been established and they have good lip control. Its more about embouchure with a horn and the fingerings are the same for several notes so they need to be able to pitch it with lips and breathing.
Trumpets are a good place to start and my other DS had great fun with his. In truth my horn playing son picks up his trumpet more often than the horn nowadays. Easier access to music and instruments.

Will just add that you do not need to do exams at all if you don't want to.

We found they were a terrible idea for DD. She got distinctions in the ones she did but got very het up on pieces all having to be grade levels and she couldn't play x because it was higher or lower grade than where she currently was.

We ditched them completely and she's made far more progress since. It made no difference to her getting scholarships either. We have been asked to state approximate grade levels and that has been more than enough.

I will echo some other posters about parental involvement. I've always sat in on lessons initially, and with her main study I am still there every week after 8 years (not in the room) and all her teachers give me a debrief after every lesson and notes for practice. I am not particularly musical myself so hasn't been easy - but less mud and vets bills than many other extras!

I'd get a proper piano. Or good electronic one with weighted keys.

Then talk to her teacher about doing grades. I'd start with grade one rather than the pre-grade one exam. Unless her teacher thinks she can go in at a higher grade. Most don't do grade 5 before secondary so she'd have to be really talented and you'd need to pressure her which wouldn'tbe a good idea if she loves music.

An orchestral instrument would be useful as its different from playing piano. You can play with others. Did the brass taster give her any ideas. I'm pretty sure some brass instruments are more in demand than violin or flute/clarinet. You need to establish what teachers are available

Singing lessons instead could be a good idea.

Bear in mind that teachers and the people on the instrument day will all be super encouraging and say she's doing well.

My DS is in his twenties now so maybe it's not so rare any more, there was definitely a campaign to recruit horns, oboes and bassoons at the time.
I think the transposition got easier the more he did it but quite a skill to have. This is in addition to remembering the correct fingerings for both sides of the French horn. He does have a quick scientific mind and a great memory fortunately. Practice is key for transposing.

@Sluj Interesting, I was reading on the thread that FH is in demand, but I'm seeing massive horn sections these days here in the south. Lots of competitive parents rushed into it particularly for this reason, to get places everywhere, so it looks like it's not a sure bet anymore. Perhaps it's different in the north. How difficult is it to transpose from trombone? Our FH friend wants to join a brass band but she's not confident with transposition.

Both my DSs were brass players, encouraged by me as a French Horn player in my school days. Both started with trumpets when their front teeth came in. DS1 was asked to try a French Horn after about a year as he has good pitch and the teacher knew I had been involved in the instrument in the past. I was reluctant at first as I knew how expensive they were and how difficult. My son loves it though and we had to shell out for a second hand one after a couple of years at a cost of about £3k. The borrowed ine from the music service was awful. They both loved their instruments but my FH son has definitely had more opportunities as his instrument was so sought after. It seemed like the whole music community in the county knew where he was and he would be invited to all kinds of events. The double horn is fiendishly difficult but once you have mastered it, there are no limitations. My son has played in jazz bands and big bands by transposing the trombone music for his horn. He even played at Ronnie Scott's doing that, much to their surprise !

@TreeAtMyWindow Yes, bass is a pain, but when we visited RCM open day, they almost begged everyone to apply :)) I'm sure this happens at other places too.

We live in a small terraced house too but a musical child will fill any house with instruments eventually 😂

Singing and strings usually go together well so being a chorister with a viola will work wonders (sadly my DD refused to learn the viola).

I was just making the point that certain string instruments (and piano) and certain places require higher standard so it all depends. If OP decides in a few years' time she wants her musical DD to audition for Chetham's for example as they are in Manchester area, then they will need higher grades compared to auditioning for a scholarship at a local school.

Brass is usually more relaxed (not for trumpets though). Wind - not for flutes. So yes, you can get in with lower grades on 2nd study if you're oboe/bassoon etc. Though my impression was that pianists at RCM focus just on the piano - it's extremely competitive, RCM is demanding and piano only gets harder and harder the further you go, unlike the violin.

Taking exams is not necessary, it's the standard of your technique, range etc they are assessing, not your certificates. It is possible to be nearly tone deaf and have your grade exams with Merit.

The same here. It is a joy to have seen her really find her place at school, she spends all her time in the music department and our home is full of music. She has only really started her musical journey in year 7 and is halfway through year 9. Her life revolves around two choirs, orchestra, string group, writing her own compositions, watching YouTuber flautists, theory club, all her instrument lessons and playing her flute endlessly at home, the piano and viola practice are rather harder to get her to do.

we play together and will be performing together next week in our local festival. Whether she pursues it as a career doesn't really matter, I'm just so pleased she has found something she loves so much.

regrettably (and happily for me) she decided she had had enough of swimming this year so now more early mornings 3 days a week !

@TreeAtMyWindow after your comment about the small city/choir meeting the King I'm wondering if you live near me 😂 although to be fair, many cathedral cities are small and lots of choirs have probably met him. In the last year alone I've stood in a royal receiving line twice!

"Expected standards vary greatly depending on the school and instrument. I know children who got scholarships with G4 wind/brass. For specialist music schools and junior departments of conservatoires, my DD played G8 for her 2nd study violin at age 10 and she didn't get an offer."

my piano teacher studied at the RCM and most definitely did not have a second instrument at g8 at 11, having only started her primary (flute) at around that age so I would say to take that comment with a pinch of salt.

Also, I wouldn't get stressed about exams at her age. My school was very exam-focused and wanted children to be doing a grade a year. I have to suppress my inner pushy parent because my child (who her teachers say is very musical) is not doing much in the way of grade progress, but that is because her teacher is working on music theory and improvising with her, which she actually enjoys and he says will make her a much better musician in the long run.

@horseymum @TreeAtMyWindow I agree that doing music with children has been (mostly) a joy for us... Seeing what makes your children come alive is wonderful - whether it is music, sport, poetry, art or dance. That doesn't mean it doesn't involve some boredom, financial outlay and time - at the moment that sacrifice feels huge with DD2 a hundred miles for us. But any hobby can be a way of connecting with your children - why not music! I'm usually just glad it's not swimming, which seems to be very early in the morning!

If she wants to be a chorister look into the Royal School of Church Music. You're up north, how easy would it be to get to York?

https://www.rscm.org.uk/events/rscm-young-voices-festival-york/

Although for us, whilst we have had the occasional tears and frustration around earlier exams and occasional nerves before competitions, parenting our musically minded children is a joy and privilege. Yes, this year's holidays are totally planned around concerts, but that's a fun thing. I've never sat in on lessons but appreciate that if you're not so musical that helps. Parental involvement is a big indicator of development, whether knowledgeable or not. This is why free lessons often don't 'succeed' if parents aren't on board.