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Extra-curricular activities

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Original poster

Ballet - any point continuing if DD doesn't practice?

38 replies

dancedn · 27/09/2023 14:44

She said she wants to do this as a career, but I don't think her heart is in it or that she even enjoys it. She doesn't practice, not for an exam, a competition or a show. She insists, whenever I check, that she likes it and insists this is what she wants. It's starting to become noticeable in her results; with low exam marks and thus time the teacher delaying putting her in for another exam, also in competitions, and generally she's not improving.

She does a lot of dance (including a private lesson) and it's costing an awful lot of money (£400 last month) and I'd be happy to let her coast along indefinitely but we've had a downturn in finances and are quite badly off at the moment.

I'm not sure what to do. If she wanted to drop some of it and continue at hobby level then fine, but she says not, and still won't practice.

Any help appreciated as I'm at a loss at the moment.

OP posts:
newhere24 · 27/09/2023 15:23

I have a (much younger) serious dancer at home - its an all or nothing thing. if he doesn’t dance, he sings, watches dance, listens to music.
He doesn’t practice that much, but he does dance 4 to 5 days a week, and practices in his head a far bit, marking as he goes. He is much younger, so not keen on him doing more

Digimoor · 27/09/2023 15:20

I wouldn't be paying for a private lesson - we usually do a couple before the exam but not regularly
My child doesn't do any practice - there is no time with school but we do 8 hrs of lessons a week

AnSolas · 27/09/2023 15:19

dancedn · 27/09/2023 15:10

She doesn't seem to care. I'll admit she said I was whining about it the last time I tried to discuss. That was the final straw for me.
I wouldn't mind if she was putting some work in but she does nothing at all outside of her classes.

Show quote history

Do up a training contract with help from her teacher
Lessons
Outside work
Good maners when speaking about training to her employer

With a measurement of improvement which is time based.

If she is not meeting the metric she needs to justify why she remains as an trainee in your school of dance.

Thehonestbadger · 27/09/2023 15:18

dancedn · 27/09/2023 15:10

She doesn't seem to care. I'll admit she said I was whining about it the last time I tried to discuss. That was the final straw for me.
I wouldn't mind if she was putting some work in but she does nothing at all outside of her classes.

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂😂

Im sat here howling at the thought of me ever telling my mother she was ‘whining’ omg.

Thehonestbadger · 27/09/2023 15:15

OP she’s 15 she’s not a small child.
You need to sit her down and have this conversations
‘Your dancing competitively is costing us a lot of money. We are essentially investing in your future career. We don’t really have that money anymore but if you were doing extremely well we would make it work… but you’re not. In fact you’re consistently under achieving at this point, you’re not practicing and you’re not seeming like your heart is in it at all. It doesn’t feel worth it for us to keep investing like this. Ultimately you either drop the dancing or you find a part time job and start funding a good chunk of it yourself. If it’s definitely what you want to do.’

Original poster
dancedn · 27/09/2023 15:10

SirChenjins · 27/09/2023 15:04

At 15 she’s old enough to understand the consequences of not practising and of family finances being less than infinite. If she’s not putting in the work then it’s an awful lot of money to spend on what’s essentially a nice to have hobby, so I wouldn’t be offering her the choice - either she commits to it or she finds a cheaper hobby.

She doesn't seem to care. I'll admit she said I was whining about it the last time I tried to discuss. That was the final straw for me.
I wouldn't mind if she was putting some work in but she does nothing at all outside of her classes.

OP posts:
Original poster
dancedn · 27/09/2023 15:05

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 27/09/2023 15:03

How is she planning on doing it as a career if she can't be bothered to practice every day ?

I really don't know. I have said this, but nothing gets through. She's been quite rude to me about it and doesn't like to discuss. I can't see her being accepted by anywhere even, as she'll have to start applying to places next year.

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 27/09/2023 15:04

At 15 she’s old enough to understand the consequences of not practising and of family finances being less than infinite. If she’s not putting in the work then it’s an awful lot of money to spend on what’s essentially a nice to have hobby, so I wouldn’t be offering her the choice - either she commits to it or she finds a cheaper hobby.

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 27/09/2023 15:03

How is she planning on doing it as a career if she can't be bothered to practice every day ?

Original poster
dancedn · 27/09/2023 15:03

autienotnaughty · 27/09/2023 14:47

I'd be happy with paying for lessons as a hobby but I wouldn't do private tuition. Is sh supposed to practice outside of lessons? How does she do in exams etc.

She's doing badly in exams now. She got the lowest mark in the group who took it.

Her sister does ballet too but only a once a week hobby class, but never wanted to do more.

OP posts:
Original poster
dancedn · 27/09/2023 15:00

autienotnaughty · 27/09/2023 14:48

How old is she?

15

OP posts:
autienotnaughty · 27/09/2023 14:48

How old is she?

autienotnaughty · 27/09/2023 14:47

I'd be happy with paying for lessons as a hobby but I wouldn't do private tuition. Is sh supposed to practice outside of lessons? How does she do in exams etc.