DD wants dance career but not sure she’s good enough!

Aged 10 my DD seriously thought she was going to be a big star in a sport she played once a week. She talked about it constantly and was totally convinced that when she was old enough she was just going to turn up to the best team in the USA and play with them

Aged 14 she discovered a talent, that I would never have guessed she'd have aged 10. She's about to study it at degree level. I'm glad I didn't piss on her dreams when she was 10. There are enough people out there to do that for her.

And getting in at 16 is no guarantee of a career. As I said, my sibling won a place at 16 but still didn't make it. Getting through at 16 doesn't mean you can make a career of it

Hard work and dedication are not the only factors though @RedHelenB

It is true. They got into top dance/MT schools at 16. At 10 you'd have said no chance. Very few make it as a career i agree, but the improvement can be immense, but you do have to be very dedicated.

What do her dance teachers say?
At 10 my DD's dance teacher kept telling me she was really talented, but all I could see was a little dumpling who loved MT.
Now she is at Italia Conti living her best life on the MT degree course.
I kept her in main stream school til she was 16, she continued to do dance, singing, acting and MT.
She only ever got merit in tap exams, never took a ballet exam never entered a competition in dance.
She did acting and MT exams too.
So if your DD loves MY keep up the dance, but broaden to acting and singing - the strongest MTs are good dancers, good singers, but also really stronger actors as acting through sing and dance is a huge part.
There were people as keen as DD at 10 who dropped out along the way, but performing arts gives you so many great skills for life that her time won't be wasted as she will be confident able to do presentations etc.

Realistically even the best dancers rarely become professional dancers. Many might do things associated with dance though, I have a friend who was mediocre who now owns her own dance school for example. I'd encourage but maybe find some alternative clubs so she has another interest to fall back on.

My daughter is a similar age and on competition teams but it took her 6 years to get to that point. Dancing did not come natural to my daughter at all. Looking at her and other girls her age I highly doubt my daughter could make a career from it where as some of the other absolutely could. You may also find that once she goes to secondary school she won't be as interested in dancing as much. This is something I worry about with my daughter as he has worked so hard and is finally at a point where she's able to compete and getting some recognition and I don't want her to throw that away.

Particularly since you say she struggled academically, I'd be encouraging other sports and hobbies. Let her continue the dancing, but give her other things to be good at. She might not be on the associates course but she has made the cricket team, not done well in the dance exam but got a distinction in the piano one....

Lots of girls love dance at that age. I know did, my sister and did all the classes after school and weekends. I lost all interest once I started secondary school. Different friends came along with new hobbies. My sister did it a few more years but eventually stopped.
I was extremely 'horsey' shared a horse rode a couple of times of a week. Thought it would be lifelong dream. I gave up at 17/18. Again different friends and circles.
Let her have her passion and encourage it. Then, if she's not good enough later down the line or decides to stop she won't be able to blame you and resent you for years.

It is hard to see your children fail but failure is a really important part of life- arguably if you never fail you never succeed.

But I think it's really important to let them give it a go because then you know. If you never try, you always have that "what if" at the back of your mind.

And my post was not to say that you should discourage her because she's still so young. She can still pursue it as a happy amateur or even professionally in the arts more generally.

But at 10 that's the age where children still think they can be the next Taylor Swift or Leah Williamson (or Darcey Bussell). The reality is that very few will ever make it but 10 is too young to rain on her parade. She is also learning some great transferable skills - team work, drive, determination, resilience. All will be enormously useful to her in whatever career she pursues.

Even if she's never a top, top dancer there are often am dram shows and such that call for dancers. It can still be in her life. My niece at 10 was a decidedly average dancer but she stuck with it and in her early twenties has been in a few local shows and actually is a lot better than we thought she might be as a child - because nobody told her she couldn't do it and she stuck with it and plugged away at it. She also worked hard at school and has good academic qualifications to fall back on.

It’s such a difficult one. I don’t know much about dance, but I do know a bit about football. My friend’s son was passionate about the game, and determined to become a pro. His touch & ball skills were outstanding, he worked hard and his vision & passing marked him out. Unfortunately, anyone who watched him run could see that he was never, ever going to become a professional athlete.
His parents continued to support him until he was around 13/14 and when puberty kicked in he started to realise himself that he just couldn’t compete with the faster, stronger more athletic lads & didn’t get picked.

I'm afraid that is completely untrue. My sibling won a highly contested place to a professional dance school and still was told she was never going to make it as a pro.

Dance is brutal. If she isn't top flight at 10, she isn't going to make it as a adult.

The vocational schools are looking at a really narrow set of criteria at 11 and there are very few (funded) spaces, so it’s incredibly competitive. Much more choice of school and more spaces at 16+ if she still wants to go for it then.

If she’s been turned down for associate programmes then she’s probably not ready for a specialist dance school just yet - do you mean a vocational school? I have 2 dc at vocational schools and every member of both their classes was an associate at at least one of the pre-11 programmes. However, children do develop at different rates and if she has the facility (body proportions, turnout, flexibility etc) and musicality then she should keep trying if she wants to. Competitions don’t matter so much, some children like mine have never done a single one, some have done lots.

So long as she’s enjoying it, let her continue and have lots of fun along the way.

I think at 10 many kids want to be something they prob won't end up being. Footballer, astronaut, dancer, actor etc etc
And that's fine.
The rejections and her determination to carry on are brilliant resilience builders and she is showing great dedication here.
I have what everyone says are 3 'very talented DC' in different areas. And it mostly comes down to a huge amount of hard work. Yes some talent or aptitude but mostly hard work. A lot of kids reach teen years and can't be bothered with the work..the ones that can be bothered and remain dedicated then shine.
My DD wanted to be a footballer since aged 5. She's still playing and on the verge of exciting things. We have supported her all the way but education has always been non negotiable.
She has had multiple knock backs and injuries and these have all helped build her resilience.
The ones that have sailed through academies from 8 and never been injured can really struggle when a set back does happen.
I have always said to her that if she stops enjoying the football then it's time to give up. That has never happened in 11 seasons!
Let her carry on. There's no point crushing her dreams!!!

By the age of 15 I realised my musical ambitions were just pipe dreams because I didn’t have the talent/resources to “make it” (I would have needed better tuition and that was unaffordable) . Im still not really over it 30 years on, but I’m glad that no one tried to completely put me off.

I remember my mum from time to time gently telling me that my grades were good and a sensible career would be the best thing. She was so kind and mild about it.

So yeah, just go gently and keep her grounded. You sound like a good mum.

I became a professional dancer even though I wasn't ever really the "best" in any of my classes. Once you reach a certain level it's more about if your face/body fits. You need to the skills to keep auditioning, work out what they are looking for, keep your technique up. The "stars" from my MT college dropped out as soon as they hit the real world.

I was hyper focused from a young age too, tbh with hindsight I should have become a lawyer or something 🤣 it's an amazing experience for when you are young - but it's constant hustle and uncertainty and the pay is shit! I also once arrived for rehearsals in a different country and was immediately (along with all the other girls) put on laxatives for weight loss (despite being a size 8!) Some very problematic stuff goes on. The highs are incredibly high, but I want DD to dance recreationally only