DS 13, yr 9, summer baby so not 14 until end of the summer term. Also currently undergoing ADHD assessment. School is one of those where DofE is semi compulsory, they do army cadets and DofE combined for one period per week (though this stops next year once they’re onto GCSEs). Only one kid in his year not doing it - don’t know why or what this child does during that period.
Basically we have paid the full fee for Bronze but DS is now saying he doesn’t want to do it at all. They all signed up at school but he’s done basically nothing so far. His skills and physical sections are activities which he would be doing anyway, but despite our best efforts we’ve struggled to find him anything to do for volunteering - people not responding, or saying they only have opportunities over the summer etc - and his dad & I aren’t really enmeshed in the local community enough to know anyone that can help so it’s been super stressful. Even the skills & physical teachers don’t seem interested and I’ve sent multiple emails about them signing him off but never get a reply.
For DS though he is freaking out about the expedition. He’s been put in a group with two friends who are also ND and not really coping with the putting up of tents etc, leaving my DS to do more than his fair share when it’s not something he’s ever done before. We’re not outdoorsy and I have no idea how to help him. I’ve suggested he talk to the teacher about it but apparently she’s said the groups can’t be changed, so he won’t . The fourth boy in the group is apparently ‘very bossy’ (DS’s words) and DS doesn’t like him.
He now says he wants to give it up and has told the teacher this. She told him okay, she can’t force him, but that we have to confirm in writing that we’re happy for him to withdraw because we’ve already paid, but I don’t know what to do. He’s absolutely dreading the walking, the camping overnight, the No Phones rule (which personally I think is crazy) and tbh I’m pretty worried about it as well.
But I’m not keen on him giving things up just because it’s a bit daunting. I don’t think it sets kids up well for life to do that (speaking from my own personal experience) and I think he’ll get a sense of achievement from having completed it even if he doesn’t enjoy it. He’s the kind who would just stay on his phone or computer and never talk to an adult if he could get away with it, so I was keen for him to do this to get out of his comfort zone a bit.
We also can’t really afford to throw away the £150 fee that we’ve paid, but DS says he’d rather get a job and pay us back this money. Which is all well and good but idk what jobs he could do at 13 either (no paper rounds available nearby - I’ve checked) and he’ll barely have time once yr10 starts, with his other extracurriculars as well.
TL;DR - should I force suspected ADHD DS13 to continue with DofE bronze for ‘character building’ reasons and because we’ve already paid, when he doesn’t want to do it and it’s causing me stress? Also - does anyone know, for the overnight camping are the teachers/leaders usually nearby? I’m ok with them walking unsupervised but he feels very young to be camping overnight without adults. Thanks.