Gymnastics - is it normal for parents not to be allowed to watch lessons?

Yes normal not to be in the room

We have a parents room with screens up where you can watch

Yes it’s “normal” but the environment is well known to be toxic.

The safety and enjoyment of the young people who do the sports should be at the centre

Except that elite competitive sport is not about safety or enjoyment. It is about winning, and defeating every other competitor on the planet.

Elite coaches are not there to provide pastoral care or 'fun' activities for people's children. They are there to identify talent, weed out the weakest, and push the remainder to do more than they ever believed themselves capable of. Their role is in many ways antithetical to 'good parenting'.

Most gyms have two 'products' - a suite of recreational sessions which are about earning revenue to cover overheads, and suite of elite sessions which are about achieving the objectives mentioned above. I've no problem with tubby little Mavis Cruet prancing about in a tutu in the former session, but to moan about body shaming in the latter is fully missing the point of what elite sports is all about. Criminal behaviour, on the other hand, is exactly that and should be dealt with through the criminal justice system.

Unless all the parents have Disclosure it's inappropriate for them to sit and view children.

Also, it's 100% PITA for tutors. Guaranteed time wasting WhatsApp group moans and perceived slights. Most of the time it's barely worth it for tutors to run any groups. I'd be wary of moaning too much about 'viewing' anything incase they decide its too much trouble from the parents.

My child’s club lets you watch. Parents don’t tend to watch all the training sessions. Dd trains 6 hours a week so I wouldn’t want to watch it all. When they are little how would you help them practice routines if you can’t see them do them with the coaches?

Another club in the same city doesn’t let parents watch, which I wouldn’t feel comfortable with personally. The other club isn’t so good competitively anyway.

@Mumoftwoinprimary not a gymnast, I was an athlete but with very similar dubious practices going on.

The problem is that most parents did not have a clue and most kids didn't have a clue what was happening to them. There was a lot of being helped to stretch with the odd very quick slip of the hand end, a hell of a lot of talking about our developing bodies, and others had so much worse.

Parents can't leave it to children to report abusive behaviour as it can be so subtle and build up slowly you genuinely don't know at the time.

I’m going to take a shot in the dark here and ask if you were a competitive gymnast in the 90s? (Speaking as a competitive gymnast in the 90s with a few memories of things that, looking back as an adult, really should not have happened.)

I know I sound like a broken record but if parents don't challenge the norm and ask questions then nothing will ever change.

The safety and enjoyment of the young people who do the sports should be at the centre and everyone has to try and help the change!

I think that safeguarding children is a lot more important than worrying about dance mums.

Here's an overview of some CSA cases from dance

www.leighday.co.uk/latest-updates/blog/2022-blogs/abuse-in-ballet-and-dance/

Here's a review of abuse in gymnastics

www.skysports.com/more-sports/other-sports/news/29877/12635046/british-gymnastics-rocked-by-abuse-report-starved-thirsty-body-shamed-and-punished

There will be more in many more sports (like the documentary I mentioned upthread).

When my girls went we could watch up until covid since then it has been a no

Normal for most things. Especially something like dance and gymnastics where 'Dance mums' are a very real thing and would definitely cause problems.

Where my children do gym / trampolining you can watch from a balcony. Kids can’t see (or hear) parents but parents can see their kids.

Gymnastics has a very problematic history from an abuse and safeguarding point of view.

If a club is not allowing parents to watch then I would be concerned about whether they are really centring safeguarding.

Aside from anything else, this should be done for the protection of the coaches.

I know it’s different but my children do ballet and parents don’t watch, we wait In a little side room I can hear what’s going on but can’t see. The children all sound happy, I think it’s pretty normal and stop ‘those’ parents.

Lots of activities don't allow parents in. Quite normal

It is normal but it is changing.
I know three clubs.
One is pure drop and run, you don't see anything and I've heard some negative things about the coaching.
Another the parents wait downstairs but there are screens so you can see the lesson via camera.
The one my kids to to has a cafe with floor to ceiling windows but behind bars (ladders?!) So you can see the kids but they can't really see you. Works well.

I think this is normal in lots of extra curricular activities such as music, dance and drama for example. If you DC is happy to be there without you is there a reason you would want to be there?

No-one seems to mind that they can't just walk into any school classroom whenever it suits them and observe a lesson. Why should it be any different at a sports club?

The difference is that schools are a lot more heavily regulated than sports clubs, many rely on volunteers and their perception of safeguarding (even though there are regulations). There is one sports club in my hometown where they allow one coach to still coach teenagers even though he was banned from being a Scouts leader in the 90s and being involved in school sports due to inappropriate relationships. They allow him to coach because he wasn't convicted (as if anyone was at the time). An assistant coach in the club was arrested about 2 years ago for taking inappropriate photos of kids on a beach, he has never denied it but the charges we dropped when he got a quick private autism diagnosis. He is still allowed to coach.

This is a sample of one sports club. My long suffering dad has continually reported both to the sports governing body but nothing gets done.

You just don't know who is coaching your children and although teachers can be abusers it is still rife in sports- Jessica Ennis' coach has just been banned for life for sexual behaviour. It's bloody everywhere.

It's normal. It's also important the children learn to dig deep and train hard for themselves, without drawing on parental support or approval. For this, they need independence from their parents and the punishments/rewards regime they know in their home life.

There's plenty of competitions and open days where watching is encouraged during the year. Often, the real beef isn't that parent's can never watch, it's that they can't watch on their terms, at a time of their choosing, without the consent of the coaches. That's about their power relationship with the coaches, not the coaches' relationship with the child. No-one seems to mind that they can't just walk into any school classroom whenever it suits them and observe a lesson. Why should it be any different at a sports club?

My daughter did it for years before the lock down and you were never allowed to watch then.

Although it's about a different sport I would advise watching Nowhere to run on IPlayer about sexual abuse on IPlayer, sadly another of the girls has died since it's aired.

Mindful of the amount of child abuse in gymnastics (emotional abuse as well as sexual), and very unhappy that I was unable to see what was going on, I withdrew my child and we stopped gymnastics as no other club nearby.

I agree with this. I only allow my children to do clubs where there is the opportunity to watch. Not saying I watch every hour of every session but I like to be able to pop my head in and see what is happening.

I did a lot of sport in the 90s and sexual abuse was rife and I don't think it has gone away. Gymnastics also has the added fat shaming etc (which still 100% exists).

I suspect the 'children don't train as well when being watched' excuse is a great line for abusers.

Yes my daughters gymnastics class is a drop and run (for me!) situation, no opportunity to watch.

DC’s first club had a raised viewing area behind glass, parents all watched. Worked well and was not distracting to children at all.

Two years later that club closed (owner career change) so we joined another. New club would not allow parents to watch anything at all other than the official performance at end of year.

Child started being afraid of gymnastics saying “it hurts” and “the teacher makes me do thinks that hurt”.

Mindful of the amount of child abuse in gymnastics (emotional abuse as well as sexual), and very unhappy that I was unable to see what was going on, I withdrew my child and we stopped gymnastics as no other club nearby.

This experience made me quite suspicious of clubs that don’t allow parents to watch. I don’t agree that parents are distracting but even if they are, better that than facilitating practices that are harmful to the child.

Yep normal but not to my liking so I skipped it as an activity.

Yes, parents are distracting to their children. Parents also sit and talk to each other throughout the class which is distracting for everyone. The odd parent even thinks it’s ok to interrupt the coach to tell them how they should be coaching despite being neither a gymnast nor a qualified coach. Some parents are a danger to themselves and others.