Clueless mum - music exams/prep test?

I agree it really depends on the child. I have a DS who is 9, been playing the piano for around 3 years and hasn't taken any exams. He's been playing graded pieces as well as others to keep him going though (he's currently on grade 3). He hasn't done any exams as he really isn't into practising but he enjoys playing the piano from time to time and that's fine by me :)

My DD is a different story. She's just turned 7 and has been playing the violin for 1.5 years. She took her grade 1 early last year, has played many of the grade 2 pieces and studies+scales etc and is now on grade 3, and she really is playing quite well. (I used to play the violin too) she hasn't taken any exams since taking g1 but I think we'll leave the exams for a few years now and take it when she's a bit more mature. She plays in concerts and music festivals instead and she enjoys them.

So I honestly don't think grades is everything. They guide you through different levels and so you have a pretty good idea of where they're at, but unless they're applying for a scholarship/bursary in a private school they aren't essential.

I think it varies by child AND by instrument! My 15yo plays sax and is working on his grade 6 now. Maybe a summer exam. Theory test was enough for him to need a break for sure ;)

However, he also plays piano - and it just doesn't come naturally. The covid format of recording exams included no scales - so he passed g1 and 2 but it came to a 4th term of working on the material for g3 and the teacher messaged me and said look, it's just not working. He struggles with the scales and while that's fine with practice, he just doesn't gel with these classical pieces set by the board. Then I gave him some Christmas music for fun one week - and he was away!

So she suggested we forget the exams, and she just teaches him to play, using music she knows he likes (musicals etc). He's enjoying it more, he doesn't need the exams (not why he's learning the instrument - he already has g8 singing and wants to learn piano to help with that) and he'll continue to progress while enjoying it more and reducing the stress. I said so long as he's learning and the complexity (in whatever form) can therefore gradually increase, everybody's happy - go for it!

As far as anxiety goes, I would say the same thing as for most parenting. Do not make a big deal of it! Same as you don't use scary words if going to the dentist or having a vaccination or even getting on a plane for the first time! Tell her it's just a matter of going and showing someone who likes music what they can do - they have to do things from a list for each level and the person will listen, and write things down - because otherwise they would forget as they have lots of children to listen to! If that person really enjoys what they hear, then they'll send them a certificate to say what a great job they did on that level. And then they can decide if they want to go and show them what they can do for the next level and start practicing that. But that they also, as the get better, will start to be able to play all sorts of cool stuff. It's soooo much better listening to Star Wars themes or Harry Potter floating round the house than it was when they were on three blind mice 😂

My DCs have been playing for 8 and 7 years respectively and have never taken an exam. We always took the view (supported by their teacher) that if we had the £100 or whatever to spare, we'd rather spend it on extra lessons rather than a piece of paper to show they've had lessons. One is now coming to the point where she wants to do some exams but will only do grade 5 theory and then grade 8 on her instrument - we will skip the rest.

There are so many possibilities with recorder, especially once they get onto the bigger size ones. Look up someone like Sarah Jeffries on YouTube to see her videos. It's not just a toy played at school. I'm sure I will be playing recorder for many more years than the double bass! Some great music around for it and there are special ensembles nationally when they get better as well. It's not just a 'gateway' instrument.

If you go the attached website of Dallas symphony orchestra your DC5 can listen to and see all instruments in the orchestra and not be swayed by what others are doing or someone tells her
( I used a similar website for my kids)
Theres no recorder but if she goes for clarinet or similar then assume recorder is her thing

Every child is different. A good teacher will listen to their students and not force exams which, if they're stressed, wont reflect their true abilities

Yes this; apart from the one we switched, it has always been 'if you want' not in any way enforced by the teacher. Mine currently don't want and their teachers don't seem bothered by that at all, if anything happy about it because they can structure learning around interesting repertoire and what skills need building next.

I have 3 kids who were taught music at school and privately

Viola player, hated the exams so his amazing tutor just focused on the music he loved. Luckily lots of classical for him.
Clarinet player loved the performing so did all the grades
Sax player, anxiety. Did alternate grades as he mentally needed to know he was ‘ getting there’

They all enjoyed playing in orchestras, no stress, as you’re with others
So if you have stressykid its a great way to enjoy the instrument.
Summer schools are also amazing

I teach music. Every child is different. A good teacher will listen to their students and not force exams which, if theyre stressed, wont reflect their true abilities

If they do orchestras they will get used to performing so if they need to do the higher grades, for what ever reason, they’re older and maturer.

Hi, I saw you on the music thread but nice to hear a bit more about your gang, sounds like they're both doing great.

With exams, agree with others the teacher is your best resource, you have an expert in the exam system who also knows your kid. You could mention to teacher about the anxiety if you haven't already so they can factor that in.

Early exams are kind of a try it and see. As my kids got further along teacher would involve them more - "would you like to work towards an exam this year? We could aim for grade 3 next term if you want." kind of thing.

If further down the line things aren't going right, I think as a parent you will know and can raise any issues. We did change one teacher who was pushing DC into exams they weren't ready for and causing unnecessary stress. But in the first place trust the pro.

Music festivals are another way to have performance opportunities. Ones near us have competitive- you get a mark and there is a class winner, or recreational where you get comments but no mark or class winner. Some have set pieces, others you can choose.

My kids are all grown up (23 & 21) but both did various instrument and singing exams. One was fine, the other was anxious (but still did them).

As a PP has said, you don't need to do graded exams, but it is sort of the way your standard is established in the music world, so when DS1 went to uni and wanted to join a music group you had to be 'Grade 5 or above'.

Scales used to be the bane of everyone's life, so the performance only exams look great!

I have a (now not so) little flautist who quite likes an exam - and a violin/viola player who hates them, so one does them and the other doesn't. Both progress. Most secondary schools will have flute and piano teachers so you can just switch to them if you want to (something to check at open days) or they can learn privately or at a Saturday council centre etc after that.

You don't have to do ALL the exams. They get very expensive, and can actually slow them down if they're progressing fast. So DD1 did 1, 3, 6, 7 and will do 8 on her first instrument, but only 5 and then I suspect 8 on her second. Also started on 5 on her third. The teacher will guide you!

Any halfway decent teacher won't put a child in for grade 1 without being certain they'll pass. I'd definitely be guided by the teacher on timings, especially for future exams, you don't need to tell them when to aim for for gr2

Oh goodness! I felt so sorry for the harpists parents when ds did a concert and a show last year!!!

Thanks :-) Her second instrument is actually harp! I was hoping she'd pick something a bit more portable like the flute...but no, she was insistent on harp. They had a demonstration of it at school and she fell in love with it. But yes the cost is pretty high - we just have the one child, if we had more it would definitely not be manageable!

Your youngest sounds very similar to my DD - another fairly anxious child who loves piano. Mine did her prep test last year when she was 7, and had had a couple of terms of lessons. She's now about to take grade 1. I think the prep test was a great experience of exam conditions for her, and now she's less concerned about the actual exam as she has a good idea of what to expect. I have not pushed her to do the exams at all - her teacher asked me if I was happy for her to do them as she thought she was ready, and I asked her if she wanted to - but she is quite a motivated child and enjoys having something to work for. She's now 8 and has picked up a second instrument this year which she's making rapid progress with.

Same for my ds. He did use a couple of graded pieces for his uni/conservatoire auditions but only so we could have an idea of his current standard in regards to their entry criteria.

Entirely dependent on the child - and to an extent the teacher.

I have a DD who is focused on music college for 6th form and ultimately a career in music. First study is singing with piano and ukulele as second and third studies.

She's never done any singing exams, has done a few piano exams and has taught herself the uke with a few masterclasses here and there to check no bad habits and tighten up technique.

She detested doing the exams, although got distinctions. She was bored being restricted to the exam pieces so much when there was other stuff she wanted to focus on with the teacher. They've now agreed to stop and he just teaches her to play and they work on things they both like. Still do scales and exercises as well though.

We haven't found lack of exams to be any issue at all. She has a music scholarship at secondary school, and none of the schools we applied to (state or private) for music places had any problem with having no exam certificates. We were just asked to indicate approximate grade level on the applications.

Some children really enjoy doing them though (my sister loved them), and a lot of teachers prefer to teach through exams in a structured way.

So don't feel that you will be at a disadvantage if one or other child chooses not to do them but still wants to do music seriously.