How many hours of extra curricular for 9yr old is too much?

Opps I see you have made a decision! Sounds like a good one!

It sounds like too much especially if you add in the additional gymnastics. It sounds like she loves her dance and has lots of opportunities related to that. As she gets older, those opportunities and the hours of training are likely to increase and might push out some of the other hobbies unless she decides to scale back the dance. My DD dances and has never done gymnastics but my understanding is that the two are not particularly compatible especially as you get more advanced.

My ten year old does 6 hours of out of school activities and also signs up to all the school-provided sports club he can do which are available 8-9 or 3.30-4.30. - so 10 hours a week is not unusual.

At the moment we can facilitate (and afford) these, but we’re already having conversations that when he moves into secondary school, expectations will need to be altered.

In answer to the OP this sounds like too much and she needs to choose what she wants to do. Ultimately extra curriculars are about pushing out of comfort zone, making friends and having purpose outside school, reducing screen time very few make the Olympics in anything and that shouldn’t be the aim.

"Does it matter?" Well, yes it does. My dad knew a competitive swimmer, who was very successful but not quite international level. What he memorably said, years later, was "What I really, really regret was spending my youth swimming up and down chloriney swimming pools in endless pursuit of better times, when I could have been out enjoying myself with my mates. There was no point to it."

This is just ‘grass is greener’ syndrome. The reality is he’d have been stuck at home bored with less mates.

Teens don’t do casual when it comes to activities, as they need a set of mates there. It’s why most by secondary seemingly do nothing which isn’t healthy either. Maybe he took it TOO seriously - but as a parent you need to manage expectations and encourage balance.

Mine had a similar issue. She loves gymnastics but the squad training was too intense and wanted them to prioritise it above all else. She dropped gym and now does cheerleading instead (4 hours a week) as the social side is much better and she still gets to do loads of tumbling.

That's the sort of commitment that a top level musician would be spending. And it's unlikely that even a talented 9 year old is at that point. (My niece spends similar time on her music but she is 17 and it's only been in the last couple of years it's been more than playing in 1 orchestra and personal practice).

The 12 hours personal practice is generally 30 minutes here and there at home (or school) though. It's different to taking a child to (say) 6 2 hour sessions somewhere else, where you also have to factor in the getting them there time as well, plus making sure that a parent is available, plus always keeping that time slot free. Practising first thing and before dinner for 30 minutes each just slots into the day.

I think it would be hard to do two things (dance and gymnastics in your case) at a high level. Partly because, as you've already said, they will start clashing!

I suspect at some point she will have to choose one or the other. It might be that that point is now. Or she just chooses to keep one more as a hobby?

Do you have other children? If you do, it's also worth considering how much the time you spend ferrying your DD about affects them.

My DD is in year 6. She does 2, 3 hour gymnastic classes (competition) and she plays football twice a week. She asked to take up rugby and I said no as from my own perspective it is too much to take them to it all. I have a DS who also plays football so it’s lots of journeys to fit in!

Some musicians. My daughter's orchestra is 3 hours on a saturday - and school orchestra is a couple of hours after school!

I think you're only talking about a small subset of musicians.

The ones saying it is too much would be horrified at the hours musicians put in! 8 hours on a Saturday, 3+ hours on 2 other orchestras, 12+ hours personal practice, playing at church. ( That's not even a lot of practice compared to some)If they enjoy it and it fits your family time/ money/ energy resources, then do what you think is best

That’s them though. They could have stopped if they didn’t enjoy it. And like I said, if you’re purely doing it for an end result, and don’t achieve that, it will feel like a waste. Which is why my kids do it because they like it. The achievements come as a part of working hard.

I was a swimmer and loved it. Not so much the chloriney up and down, but the camadarie, the friendship group outside of school, trips away to gala’s, when I got a PB, I was forced to give up at 15 as my parents knew I was only going to be a good club swimmer, and thought my time would be better spent elsewhere. I lost all my fitness, put on weight, lost a lot of friends and a social group.

kids activities should always be fun first.

"Does it matter?" Well, yes it does. My dad knew a competitive swimmer, who was very successful but not quite international level. What he memorably said, years later, was "What I really, really regret was spending my youth swimming up and down chloriney swimming pools in endless pursuit of better times, when I could have been out enjoying myself with my mates. There was no point to it."

Someone, preferably a sensible parent, needs to take a good, hard look of where it's all going - is the activity just for fun, or is it something that will lead to a serious, or even a professional level of involvement? Young people can devote a huge amount of time and effort to an activity which doesn't lead anywhere, or perhaps only to a minor level of success

does it matter? If a child enjoys an activity- and don’t forget it’s often not purely the activity itself, it’s the social group, the enjoyment of learning new skills, of setting personal goals, the discipline, fitness, the self confidence that being good at something brings- and devotes time and effort, does it really matter if they only have a “minor level of success”? Define “minor” success anyway, sport for example, is it never winning? Or only winning at a regional level. Or winning nationally, but never making the Olympics?

kids can learn a lot from extra curriculars, even if they don’t end up on the west end stage or at the Olympics.

one of mine dedicated huge hours. Throughout all of the sitting in cold cars while they trained, spending weekends at competitions, bottom line was always the minute they stop enjoying it is when we stop or look for another path. Not if they stop winning, if they stop having fun.

I think it is rather too easy to let young children get sucked into extracurricular activities. Someone, preferably a sensible parent, needs to take a good, hard look of where it's all going - is the activity just for fun, or is it something that will lead to a serious, or even a professional level of involvement? Young people can devote a huge amount of time and effort to an activity which doesn't lead anywhere, or perhaps only to a minor level of success. They all need to experience lots of different outside activities as part of growing up, and enjoy themselves too.

My girls are in year 5 and do a total of 7 hours activities a week each. It is already too much as if you factor in travelling to and from these activities they don’t get home until past 6pm 4 days a week. I am thinking of reducing their hours as they are exhausted.

Dd (8) does 8 hours a week of activities in total and that, plus one day a week of breakfast and after school club feels like too much! In your situation, I would stick with dance, which complements the drama.

either recreational gymnast and competitive dancer or recreational dancer and competitive gymnast. Not fair to dance team / gym squad to miss one for the other- commit to one or the other and treat the other as a once a week hobby.

I think you have to choose between dancing and gymnastics. Both need a few hours a week to do ok in and both have weekend competitions that take all day. It’s hard because if you are good at one you tend to be good at the other. My daughter went for dance. I think that has a longer lifespan and lends itself to other things such as drama.

(she's also 9)

It sounds like too much to me, and I rarely say that. I have one home body child who does one sport a week and one online club a week. my other child currently does -4.5 hours dance, 30 mins lamda, 30 mins swimming, 1 hour tutor and 2 hours theatre school. Pretty much all at her insistence (swimming is the one I insist on as we live by the sea, plus tutor we both agree is needed post pandemic as her school basically didn't teach them for a year).

So she does 8.5 hours a week (with more a few times a year for shows) and to me this feels on the edge of too much but she absolutely loves it all.

i think their bodies and minds do need to rest and unwind. But I do sympathise. It's hard having a child who has so much they want to do!

Wow that's a lot. Is she tired? Does she get time to meet with friends outside of school? How is she doing in school? Does she have time for homework?
Also how serious are you are 11+ and is it a realistic prospect? 1 hour a week tutoring alone doesn't sound very much.

My dd is also y5, I think we're up to 8 hrs clubs and then also 30mins 11+ homework and 15mins instrument practice each daily.

It's a fine balance fitting it all in with good rest breaks in the day/week too.

Wow way too much. Not good for the child. You don't want her to burn out and associate childhood with all crazy juggling.

I agree with pp re gymnastics.

if she wants to be “properly” competitive, 4 piece, lots of comps and learning skills, then she will need more than 8 hours. Unfortunately the way the gymnastics world works as well (not something I agree with, but there you go) at 9 she’s probably too late for “serious” gymnastics.

so starting 8 hours at 9 years she will have fun, do some in house and rec comps, but will likely max out in skills relatively soon. Depends a lot on the club.

so in your position I think I’d stick to what she is doing, leave the gymnastics as fun and only do the hours if it works with everything else.