Piano or violin for 4 years old

I do Suzuki piano with my 3yo - he has days when he won't give me the time of day, but other days when he'll happily play little bits and bobs.

either is good.

if you have a piano I'd start with that, much easier.
I'd let her try both then she can decide which she prefers

I think what matters is to find the right teacher. One who uses a suitable method and is good with young children.

The instrument doesn't matter much at this point. She can always take up the other one (as well, or instead) in two or three years.

Thats true glovesick

The bongos, djembe and congas are less in ypur face volume wise but it all takes up a lot of space..

Percussion is obvs great, but I couldn't accommodate the kit in my house and it can be very loud!

One of mine started flute at 6 but she was very tall /long armed and size matters. Cellos, like violins, come in fractional sizes and personally i think the small cellos sound better than the small violins.
If i had another child id lean towards starting with percussion though, a good understanding of pulse and rhythm are soooo valuable

I am a clarinettist. I would say the flute is unlikely to work before about age 8 or 9. You need enough puff and also long arms (even for a curved mouthpiece). Lots learn the recorder first to get some basics of wind playing (like not breathing in the middle of a phrase). Fingerings is vaguely similar, but as the flute it keyed, the similarities are limited and the fingering is really not the most difficult thing to learn. It's the embouchure! Would be a shame to put someone off the flute by getting them started too young.

Cello would go well if you already have violin and viola in your family!

Lots of good suggestions here! I'm a pianist by profession and started having formal lessons at 5. I agree with previous posters that singing, general music classes etc. are really, really valuable.
You mentioned the LSO family concerts — you might also like the family days at the Royal Opera House. There are a few coming up in July. Lots of fun activities — interactive concerts, crafts, dance etc.

i don't think it matters at this age - what ever she plays will be a great starting point but it doesn't mean she has to stick with it forever. could be a great segue into violin or cello or anything else at age 6/7.

our experience - DD started violin age 5. slow going for 1 yr; broke shoulder which lost another year. restarted age 7, slow going again. age 8 got it together, then went from g1 to g5 in 18 months.

DS - I always knew he wanted to play cello, he used to take DD's violin and stick it between his knees. couldn't find a teacher who would take him for ages, so did a couple of terms of violin but he never took to the positioning even though it was clear he had a good ear etc. eventually found a teacher when he was age 6/nearly 7. been playing 15 months now and taking G3.

Cello is similar to violin, can be started tiny with the right method/teacher.
Don't know about flute exactly, they often start with recorder and move on to flute later.

According to google age to start cello/flute 6-8. Developed dexterity and perseverance apparently. I personally started cello at 10/11 after theory and musicality a bit more developed through more straightforward instruments. Also think I was much more committed and considered in the choice at that age rather than younger.

I’d suggest keyboard is a great place to start - many more quickly and easily learn transferable skills there - reading music, harmony, theory, etc etc. Getting to grips with those skills whilst also dealing with additional string skills can often make it all rather slower.
Cellist here, played a lot of instruments as a child and went to one of the music colleges. I took up cello slightly after wind and keyboard and was glad - the bow skills, posture, fingering, extensions, vibrato, harmonics etc were then all things I could concentrate on with good general ‘musicianship’ under my belt.
In the end though what will work best is what she wants to play most. A bit of chopping and changing is pretty common. (I had a few ‘oboe years’ - tough - respect to reed musicians).

There's some lovely child friendly orchestral instrument introductions around. CBSO, RPO, Royal Scottish, some of the smaller ones have all done them and it would be a good way for her to experience the different instruments in action if her awareness is only of violin and piano.... That said, at 4 there are obviously limited options. However my daughter knew at 5 that she wanted to play an instrument she couldn't learn til she was a lot bigger and got a lot of joy exploring piano first, waiting patiently until she was big enough for her instrument. She also added in another in the middle as an orchestral, had fun in nco on that before switching to her now first study. But piano has a special place in her heart as her musical first love.

I have a two harpists and a trumpet player who also sing in the National Youth Choir. I slightly wish I'd started them all on piano, as it gives them such a visual understanding of music, higher, lower, flats and sharps are all there to be seen and understood more easily than other instruments. Plus there are pianos everywhere and (as a grown up piano player) it is nice to relax and sit at the piano at the end of a long day. Other instruments seem to require a bit more exertion! (lazy) I suspect a dodgy start with Suzuki violin for the two eldest might be swaying me too. Joy sapping.

Can I just shove in a hearty recommendation for Kodaly or Colourstrings classes before starting to play, to develop pitch, their ear, rhythm, coordination, confidence etc etc. So much music can be learnt without touching an instrument and will make learning an instrument so much easier.

Sounds like a musical family!

DD started violin at 3 and followed up with piano at 5, DS piano at 7 and brass at 9. Both happy with their choices. Both found second instrument progressed fast as a result of what they already knew, so really in terms of ensembles if she started second instrument a year or two later it's not going to make much odds.

Piano and violin do seem popular choices for starting little. Violin makes sense as they don't require strength or puff and come in small sizes. Piano makes no sense to me but does seem to come with lots of tiny prodigies! Don't know how they do it with small hands.

I think the main thing is finding a teacher who is good with the age group in question. If you try to teach a 4 yr old the same way you'd teach a 10 yr old, it's unlikely to work. So 4 isn't too young per se, but it is too young for some teachers.

Viola (rather than violin) - orchestras are desperate for viola players!

Oh. The other reason violin didn't work for DD2 was because DD1 and I both play (DD1 particularly well). She really didn't cope with everyone else being 'better' than her, no matter how much we tried to help her see she is 3 years younger and at a different point on the journey. In the end, different instruments were definitely better!!

There are some fabulous string teaching programmes for very young children - and there is much joy in playing with others, as you say. DD2 started violin at 4 but wasn't quite ready. We stopped and she started piano at 5. 6 months later added cello and she's progressed nicely on both since. I'm a violinist. But I can still support her with both cello and piano. The important thing when they are little is having someone there helping....

A lot will depend on the child. My DD started at 4 years old and its been great but she could already read and write and is tall with large hands. She also has quite a good attention span for things that interest her.

Before piano we'd tried the ukulele (as she was keen) but her fingers weren't strong enough to play the chords whereas for piano within a couple of weeks of practice she managed full finger independence on both hands.

It might be worth doing some finger exercises on a cheap keyboard with her beforehand to see if she'll really be able to manage physically before investing in a piano / expensive lessons.