Driven nuts by D of E voluntary work requirement

My daughter couldn't find anywhere due to her age so her teachers allowed her to volunteer and help out at after school clubs etc.

Before and after. Was massively satisfying. There was also some social interaction as people visiting graves would come over and say hello.

Do you know any elderly neighbours, could she do some shopping for them? You could go with her at first.

Lots of people have mentioned Parkrun, that's a good one and she could do that with you too. Ours regularly has DofE volunteers.

What sorts of things are run by volunteers in your area? Ours has a volunteer run cafe, a fair trade shop, a group who maintain the local park just as a few examples. Any of these would happily have extra volunteers to work alongside them.

Could the two of you organise some litter picking days? For your dd and 2 or 3 friends? It doesn't have to be organised by a separate organisation.

Parkrun Parkrun Parkrun
Marshalling - No need to talk to anyone, though she could work up to a vague ‘well done’ every five minutes
Tail walking - same and you get some exercise
And you have to do it with her.

Dd (also incredibly shy) and I weeded graves. We got the rectors permission and then weeded the very old and very obviously unloved graves.

Granted it was.... Before 1999 I would have done mine, optional too luckily because it's not for everyone, but I volunteered at a GDBA kennels. Most of my interaction was with the dogs. I was left to my own devices and it's probably not like that now but I really enjoyed it and stayed for longer than just my DofE

Beyond it being compulsory how much do you/your DD actually want her to participate?

I'd be tempted to tell the school that, given they have made it compulsory, they need to find a suitable activity for her or she simply won't be participating.

That said, I do think it has the potential to be beneficial for her, but not if she's finding it distressing.

My DD is very shy and gets anxious in social settings.She did hers at the local library.She did a week of her work experience there(they organised a program for her)and then she went for d of e on Saturdays doing the art displayed for whatever was on .How much she mixed was up to her,she carried on past the time she needed.

Schools start DofE in Year 9, because the idea is that students complete Bronze in Y9, Silver in Y10 and Gold in Y12, thereby meaning that they are hopefully only "finishing off" in crucial exam years.

I'd also suggest parkrun or junior parkrun. Lots of different roles so can pick something suitable. My four year old has a couple of volunteer credits so far, so certainly suitable for an older child.

Junior park runs take DOFE volunteers. They get to do various roles including marshalling and timekeeping. So very directed, and doesn't involve the need for talking if she isn't able too.

Are you completely sure its compulsory? Do they not know about the Mutism?

We were in a similar situation- we posted on ‘next door’ and had quite a good response. My dd ended up helping out at a local tennis club.

There were teenagers at parkrun today doing it for their DofE. They were there with parents too.

helpmum
Y9 is too young to make the most of DofE in my opinion, but it's increasingly common to run bronze in y9. Previously it was y10.

Having said that, the y9 cohorts I've taken through have done well and it's been great for them.

For the OP's child to have given up after 1 week in a rainbows session probably means that DofE would be something she'd gain lots from instead of opting out when things are difficult.

Lots now start between 13 and 14 and it is hard to find volunteering for the younger ones in age group. However it can be massively beneficial for them if they can get it to work. Libraries, parkrun (junior parkrun would be v encouraging to a younger shy volunteer) are all good places. My students also volunteer in school eg school library. Missing maps and sky badger both online volunteering options. I get frustrated when those who could benefit so much give up at the first hurdle.

What would happen if she didn’t do anything?

If the school have it as a compulsory subject then surely they can help getting people through it.

I bet a million pounds it isn't compulsory. It costs for a start.

Everyone does it at dds boarding school, the school pays for it and it STILL isn't compulsory!!

Another one whose DS volunteered in the local library. They get given consent forms to be signed by parents etc. He loves it. Shelf stacking, sorting out bits or reading competitions/challenges, handing out medals to the winners, the whole shebang.

13 is fairly young to be starting Bronze D of E. Most kids here are at least 14 when they start.

Age is going to be an issue. Ordinarily I'd suggest contacting some of hte big charity shops and getting her in steaming clothes or sorting books. But most of the big chains say volunteers have to be at least 14. Other friends' children have volunteered in the school library or helped at a food bank, but again, at ages over 14.

Does she have any hobbies? Ds is volunteering at his judo club helping on the mat for little kids.

I'd really struggle with a 13yo being forced to do D of E. Is this common?

When they are so young it effectively requires parental involvement which is extremely unfair and not possible for everyone depending on job and sibling ages.

It sounds traumatic and personally I would tell school that currently it is turning out to be damaging to your DC confidence. Suggest either school sort something she can do with them or she withdraws.

Surely the value of D of E is completely downgraded under these circumstances?

Personally i would email the actual D of E people, tell them what you have done and the schools reluctance

Why? What are the school supposed to do? D of e isn't supposed to be spoon fed, that's the whole point!

She should have had support from you to stay doing what she's doing.

She does have 2 years?? To complete it so could leave the volunteering until she's older.

Park run has loads of volunteer roles she could help with. You could volunteet with her also which could help with her shyness to start with.