Music teacher - who is right?

I mean email them offering a copy of child’s passport for id

You could explain to ABRSM and try to get the result. Your dc might have passed anyway.

I'm really sorry to hear that, but very relieved you've binned the teacher! Terrible that you paid for lessons and the exam but the ex teacher hasn't had the professionalism to pass on the results. You are well rid of them.

Did your child take the exam in the end? How did it go?

I've been teaching for 30 years and I make sure scales are well prepared even before I enter a student for an exam. I'd never expect a pupil to learn them themselves; they are vital to good playing, and are not a separate box ticking exercise just for exams. Apart from anything else, the examiners are looking for scales with musical shape, even tone etc, not just a barrage of notes.

Recently, I've been asked to help a student on saxophone ( not the instrument I teach) because their teacher had entered them for grade 5. The teacher hadn't so much as mentioned aurals, had barely looked at sightreading, hadn't finished teaching one of the pieces or a lot of the scales. The teacher cancelled 2 lessons on the trot, 3 weeks before the exam too.
I did as much damage limitation as I could ( the student was sent to me primarily for aurals a couple of weeks before the exam) but that poor child came out of the exam close to tears. They managed to pass the exam, but had the ability to get a good merit or even distinction, if only the teacher had done their job.

I’m on the fence. Whilst it’s not great that the teacher has only just found out the scales aren’t known, it’s pretty common. I always get my dcs exam scales on a list and put them on the wall. With aural I buy the ABRSM CD. My dc has been sent for grade 5 with no aural from teacher. With the pieces, you can get the accompaniment on CD so again, I do that. That said, if the teacher makes the child feel shit, that’s terrible and totally not the point of music lessons.

I’m confused - you say you stay for the lesson? Are no scales done? Didn’t you think it a bit odd - by grade 5 you know it’s a requirement. I’m not having a go - just genuinely confused

If you feel the teacher is negative and has never liked DC then that in itself is enough reason to change teacher!

I would certainly expect the teacher to have covered the expected scales- fingering is very important for scales, not just the actual notes!
A child cannot really learn those by themself. It's really not a reasonable expectation.
Have they also covered all the other aural stuff? (Classical, baroque, romantic, 20th century periods of music and their features?)

Please change teacher. My first piano teacher was a bit like that and always compared me unfavourably to my best friend who he also taught (and who admittedly was better than me —because she practiced— )

This teacher is causing your dc to lose confidence in their ability. They must be doing well to be mid-primary and taking grade 5, but a setback like this could really put them off. Agree with others about postponing the exam.
Sometimes I think that if you spend a long time with one teacher, both they and the pupil become too set in each other's ways and a change is necessary. An upset child and an irritated teacher is not a good mix.
My experience isn't with music but with dance, but I think it is a similar situation.

As a parent I don't think I could go back to this teacher. Whatever else might be going on they've just knocked 10 points off exam score by destroying DC's confidence. I wouldn't risk a repeat of that next week. IF you know an accompanist who can inject some positivity I might soldier on and get the exam out of the way, if DC wants to, otherwise probably ditch teacher and exam. Teacher is doing more harm than good currently.

Ps definitely music teacher created this situation and I wouldn’t be happy!

As a music teacher I would withdraw. I’ve had to withdraw pupils before it’s not a big deal. I would also perhaps not change teacher until after this exam is done and give the teacher a massive kick up the backside.
Find out about the syllabus and sort it all out between yourself your dc and the teacher. After this exam I would almost definitely find a new teacher but your dc will have to adapt to the new method of teaching that’s all.

I guess the fact that both dh and I have music degrees and dh teaches his specialism in further/higher education and the teacher although paid direct by us was working through dd's school so he did not want to risk a formal complaint to the school. I had also questioned at the time of entry whether or not dd was ready for the exam (the letter came via school just before the christmas holidays with a short deadline.

We had been quite hands off as we didn't want to interfere (dh has taught piano but its his second instrument and we know it can be awkward teaching the child of a fellow musician) and he was at the time lodging away from home during the week, but the teacher had not attempted to teach her any of the scales or aural and she was playing her pieces by ear/memory rather than reading the music despite having had 6 months of lessons from me to determine whether she really wanted to do it before starting formal lessons.

Wow your child is so advanced to be doing grade 5 in Primary! I teach piano and voice and would never enter a pupil until they knew all their scales and pieces with the lead up to the examination being used for polishing, aural and testing. In my opinion the only time this would be acceptable is if I was teaching someone like a university student who was picking up piano as a separate instrument and wanted to do the exam quickly, certainly not a child who would need very specific guidance and help. As others have said, perhaps book some extra lessons, perhaps a professional accompanist and practise some aural tests on line. Hopefully you will have a pass to celebrate. X

went on about the teacher’s abilities as a performer. We paid for teaching
So spot on! Performers and teachers require different skills.

That doesn’t sound good. Mistakes need to be corrected but not in that way. It is a bad message for anybody let alone a child. Teaching can be frustrating and I understand teaching music - so many students all at different stages, levels of enthusiasm etc - is a tough job but the teacher’s approach is not likely to encourage and draw the best out of your DC.

There has been a ton of useful advice on the thread. From what you have written Grumpyrobots, it sounds that the teacher’s standards and expectations have changed as DC progressed through the grades with the teacher. If DC is not prepared I would reschedule or alternatively speak with DC to help them understand possible outcomes and see what DC’s wishes are. I can’t judge how much work needs to be done or DC’s character and outlook. But do think about the route forward from this and if this teacher is the best option. I expect a teacher to cover all aspects of the exam if they claim they prepare students for exams. We had one teacher, who I realized too late, had failed to do any aural, sight reading etc (20 % of final mark). We luckily had two weeks and were able to help DC out. It was first music exam and would have been a discouraging experience probably scraping a pass instead of the first class honours achieved. We eventually left the music school as they didn’t apologize, brushed it off with stories of other students with similar experience, and went on about the teacher’s abilities as a performer. We paid for teaching.

My DD has only done a couple of exams but there is a list (syllabus) that she has to cover and that includes the scales she is expected to know from memory - if you are at Grade 5 now, your DC must have done this for previous exams?

I would expect the teacher to listen to the scales. When my DD had lessons in school, we did arrange to have a pre-exam lesson outside the school if it wasn't possible to practice with the piano part (and used a CD at home). Does your DC play the whole piece through when practicing at home?

What is it about the prep for this exam that is different to the others? It does sound like a change of teacher would be beneficial tbh!