November Music Thread

I had such a row with my 11 year old over practice this morning. She has an exam next week (violin) and her sight reading is dire. This morning she informed me that it was 'all my fault for not having taught her better' (I'm not her teacher- nor do I play the violin). Reader, I lost my temper....

I do try to leave her to it to practise by herself, but she just calls me in anyway. Any tips for keeping calm much appreciated...

My 10 year old is another with practising issues. He loves to practise but WHAT he practises can be a little selective! Technique is not his strong point - but he will happily play through his entire repertoire of folk pieces (without a thought to technique!) many times!

It's reassuring to hear that practise is an issue for lots of you. I completely agree that it can be hard when they're so busy. My DS also does quite a few other things as well as music. Thank you to all the posters for being so welcoming of a newbie. It turns out I didn't need at ask my question about cello case straps at all. DS was exploring the case when he got it out to practise yesterday and found the straps in one of the pockets! Phew! I'm very glad I hadn't ordered any (especially those super expensive ones!). Thanks to everyone who responded though and I'm glad I joined the thread.

Hi violinboy he’s doing really well - sounds like my dd - she is so busy she hardly ever has time to practise though says she wants to keep playing . I think Floots idea sounds like a good plan they simply can’t always fit it all in. To me as long as they keep playing that’s the main thing - mine only ever practise scales when they are made to by their teachers or for an exam ( though ds is better at just doing them now - but he’s much older !!)

Floottoot, Thank you! To be honest he has so much going on, sometimes I feel sorry for him, he also plays football and rugby, swimming club and has lots of homework and extra work from his tutor, so it’s all a bit of a struggle. It’s very hard to find time to practice, though somehow he always manages to squeeze a few hours of minecraft into his day. He is refusing to give up on any activity and also asked for chello and clarinet lessons recently, which I quite frankly cant afford. Also having two teenagers going through various school exams and asking for lifts I feel like I am losing this battle.

Welcome, Violinboymum!
Your son sounds very musical and able, and seems to have lots going on, so I wouldn't worry too much about his attitude towards practising. It's very normal, as you'll see from the many posts here from parents pulling their hair out - me very definitely included!!
Could you reach a compromise, by suggesting your DS does 2 out of the 4 things each day, his choice which 2? So, singing and piano, or theory and violin etc, with the proviso that at least one has to change each day. Also, perhaps let him practice whatever he wants - just pieces, if that's what he chooses - until he gets back into the routine of practising regularly.

Grade 4 at 8 is pretty good going, so he's clearly doing something right, and he'll soon realise what he needs to change if he stops making such good progress.

Thank you Folkmamma! It’s such a struggle, unfortunately he is not responding well to charts (calls them blackmail) and recently started to accuse me of being a “tiger mum” after watching Twosetviolins videos on YouTube. His older siblings were never like that at his age, even now they are not as confrontational, I am truly at loss what to do with him. All practice usually happens on his terms, I am so tired of fighting over it.

Loose: belated happy birthday to your DS1!

On the composition software I would guess have to tie in with what the school is using. Gone through it twice with different software and all has been done at school. There was a vague suggestion of buying LogicPro for use at home but we never did and in the end everything was done at school.

Fabulous to see so many new 'faces' already this month! Welcome @Violinboymum.

We have a few feisty 8/9yr olds on the thread, my own daughter (cellist/pianist) included. There is just no negotiating with her so I frequently have to just walk away... and then she still somehow makes progress and I get frustrated wondering what she might achieve if things were different!!!

DD1 (11, violinist) is generally more cooperative although certainly does not enjoy practice. She is more accepting of the fact she has to do it but it's vary rare that she does it willingly and I frequently have to deal with 'the face'. She's at JD now, and knows she has to work to stay there, so I'm hoping over time she will become more self motivated...

Charts and rewards definitely play a big part in our practice routines for both girls. Always have done. I award more rewards for good attitude and positive practice sessions. It doesn't eliminate the issues but does help!

I think DS1 is using Sibelius at A level but will ask if they have anything else. It was Logic at GCSE. DS2 likes using Logic for his own compositions at home when he's not using the computer to blast aliens, or whatever!

Hi, can I join too? DS8 plays piano (doing grade 3 this term), passed violin (grade 4) last term, also getting ready for his singing grade 4 exam sometime in the future and theory grade 2 in the next term. So my hands are full and all I do is drive him between various lessons. He also hardly practices on his violin and it feels like a daily battle to make him practice scales or exercises. He only likes playing actual pieces on his instruments.

DS used Sibelus for GCSE and MuseScore for A level.

Muse score is fine for using at home and trying out ideas . You have to do the actual composition at school as controlled coursework. So unless they love composing it’s not necessarily worth spending the money on it . Ds does love his midi keyboard though which also works with muse score and means you can input music much quicker !!

I think GCSE and A/IB composition is pretty
much all on computer these days (Logic Pro, Sibelius etc). My DS had pen and manuscript out to transpose a flute part for his instrument last week as quicker to do by hand than type into Sibelius but seems to be a rarity and wasn’t for an exam.

IB more generally is great especially the learnings skills, studying topics across subjects, theory of knowledge etc. However, it is a hard work. A lot more work than say 3 a-levels to get to what top universities consider similar level as they tend to focus just on highers (although can manage a bit by picking less demanding combinations). Also so much ongoing coursework need to be very organised.

hertsandessex: thanks - that sounds encouraging.
With the composition: is it all computer/tech-based, or do people still use manuscript paper and pencil? I feel very out of touch with the technology …

I suppose he'll get essay-writing skills from English/Ancient History/RE at GCSE which he's also taking. Good point about that!

For practical, he'll have at least one Grade 8 by then, so that's taken care of.

What do you think in general about the IB? Our other option would be for him to move to a different school in sixth form, to do A levels instead, in which case I suppose I ought also to be thinking about whether he'd be expected to have GSCE music before doing A level.

On the subject of music in the IB my DCs go to an IB school and one doing IB now and there are several people doing IB music without GCSE including at Higher Level. I think the school requires min grade 5 or equivalent on the instrument but no other requirements although for Higher I think would expect at least an GCSE A in a subject with essay writing skills. It would be obviously be better to have composition experience from GCSE with say LogicPro but can learn it from scratch doing IB. Also universities seem to take HL level music as a proper subject and is perfectly acceptable even applying to Oxbridge for a non-music course.

Disorganised this is something that worked for my DD(14) but with dance not music. It might work for your DS if he is motivated to fix his technique issues.

On her own, she will video her dance routine on her iPhone, watch it back and look for flaws, mostly technique related, work to fix them and repeat. Usually only when coming up to competition or exam..
It works best for her when no one is looking and she takes control herself.

(I will add that unfortunately she wouldn’t dream of putting in such hard work with her music, she has at least 2 ongoing issues that she can’t be bothered to fix...)

Oh that's brilliant, too! Thanks, Knittinganewme!

The other one he has had a lot of wear out of was a different form of this one

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/I-See-A-Little-Silhouetto-Of-A-Man-Mango-Queen-T-shirt-premium-t-shirt-tshirt-/321853185746

He has had random people come up to compliment him when wearing each of these.

Knittinganewme the hoodie may be going on my Christmas list!

disorganised i feel for you and your ds, 12 is not an easy age (from the mother of 1 12 year old violinist to another). Dd1 has spent a fair bit of time recently on etudes with her teacher with a lot of focus on her whole body, where bits are, where they are heading to, balance, weight, leading following etc. And it really seems to be paying off. Dd1 seems to be responding really well to a more cerebral / mechanical approach to the technical stuff. (If this all sounds overly positive i should point out i have yet to find any technique to get dd2 to do anything other than her own thing!)

Hope you find a good solution for you ds

Loose he has it on a hoodie that he rarely takes off, I've just ordered a t shirt for him for Christmas.

Good luck melting DD and DS! That's quite a week.