November Music Thread

Ouch mini, that sounds tough. I think usually at lower levels they pitch the music easier than the max grade level but in a grade 3+ open group they're not always going to be able to pitch it at grade 3. Could you ask the conductor if she can just miss out strategic sections of that particular piece rather than stress too much? In youth orchestra we used to say to the back of the second violins to just play the first note of every beat or something if it was too hard. Come to that even the professional leaders of my orchestras occasionally miss out a few notes to make sure they are staying in time in the ridiculously fast bits. Part of the skill of orchestral playing is knowing when and how to fake it!

£2000 ?!?

Some of DS2's choir concerts are too far/expensive (a recent one was £2000 [no mistake on the number of zeros] ). I don't go to anything overseas. And some are private engagements to which parents aren't invited.

But we try to ensure that someone goes to most concerts. With evensong, I go once a week and we try to ensure that someone is at as many services as possible (currently 4 out of 5 per week 'covered'). Typically, the day no-one was there, he got a big last minute solo. I was so upset to miss it, as solos in Year 6 don't come round that often.

I go to just about everything that he plays the violin/piano in, but he doesn't have that many concerts yet.

My dd2 had a tricky musical weekend. She's still struggling with one of the ensemble pieces she's doing in wind band - and came out in tears because she couldn't play it and was terrified that the head of the centre (who was conducting her ensemble this week) was going to pick her up on it.

I finally looked at the piece and then I got her teacher to look at it too. She said 'I have a grade 5-6 pupil who is struggling to play this' (dd2 is Grade 3 and has been playing flute for two years - she's nine - she seems to be the littlest flautist in the band). They went through the piece in class and she is still struggling to play it to speed. It changes key about every five bars, is massively fast, and is so high that I (as a ropey pianist) can't actually read what some of the notes are as they have so many ledger lines and it is so badly photocopied. Also it has tons of glissandos and trills and she can't quite work out which notes she is supposed to be trilling on. Which may be a hole in her knowledge that needs filling, but hasn't been filled yet.

However, the Saturday Centre says dd2 is in the right band (main wind band is supposed to be grade 3 plus) so maybe it is just that this particular piece of music is v hard for her part...there is only first flute, so they all play the same.

All not helped by the fact that she's sitting next to a girl who keeps rubbing her head and calling her 'cute' - and apparently wouldn't stop touching dd when she asked her not to - which freaked her out.

I don't want to put her into a different ensemble if it is just this piece that is the problem - but it's not doing her confidence any good. Any thoughts on how to handle v gratefully received.

I sat in her lesson on Sat because she was so shaky - and I could see that the wind band piece was a massive step up from her Grade 3 pieces - which she finds really easy. I thought ensemble work was supposed to be at a slightly lower level than solo stuff - but I am clueless!

Help!

I love listening when he’s playing in an orchestra with no pressure

I so recognise this.

I love listening to DS perform, because he doesn't particularly get nervous in ensembles, or soloing within ensembles. As a function of that, he doesn't really mind if we can't make it - he is there and his friends are there and he's doing what he loves. Just occasionally, I watch him and cry - usually when he's playing in an orchestra or a big band or something and he's so clearly with his people, doing his thing. I remember the horribly anxious, solitary, selective mute who I was told would never make it back to mainstream school and I have a little sniffle.

DD is a dancer, and gets much more anxious - less so about group performances (though she often has very prominent roles in these which make her worried about letting others down), much more if she dances alone - so I prioritise being there to support her because her need of me is greater. Oddly, her performance anxiety has increased with age - her two seasons of panto at 8/9 and 10/11 passed with barely a quiver - whereas DS has become more confident.

I hate not being there when the girls perform, but it's becoming more frequent that I miss one or the other of them. Noo has done 2 seasons of panto, so I did have to get used to not seeing all the performances (no way I was getting to all 33 each year!!!) but last year I chaperoned a bit which was great. This year it's DD2's turn and we are in the thick of rehearsals. Missed an ensemble performance by Noo at JD this weekend and will also miss her in her teacher's pupils' concert as I am with DD2 at the theatre. But Noo has had first dibs on my attention for a few years and so now it's DD2's time. Thankfully, DH and his parents share the audience duties!!! (Although not for the whole run of Pied Piper, DD2 will have to go it alone for some of the shows..)

I totally understand the sentiment about not watching solos - I absolutely hate watching DD3 diving. Particularly because she’ll do a dive and I’ll have no idea how good it is until the scores come up!! I always desperately try to read her and her coaches/teammates’ faces!

At least with music if it sounds nice I can guess it’s going at least okay...

Another one hugely relieved to find that I am not the only one regular missing concerts. I have one child in 4 ensembles, and one in two ensembles (and only one of those is the same as the other child!). And the concerts always seem to be when I am working so there is not much I can do about it. Ds2 is now also gigging in clubs and as he is only 14, one of us needs to go with him as he often doesn't finish until very late. And that person is never me as I work in the evenings and also have a younger son. So oldest brother (17) or dh takes him. I would like to give up work and just do nothing but go and see my kids perform!

I don't like watching DS plays solo, but I do my best to get to all his performances. I get to the end and realise I've been holding my breath the entire time! If you've ever seen the video of the parents of a gymnast twisting and bobbing along to every move of her bars routine, that's me!!

Swaying it’s not weird at all not liking watching - I hate it- just do it to be supportive . I love listening when he’s playing in an orchestra with no pressure ( and preferably something that I haven’t had to listen to him prepare at home!!) this seldom happens with ds so I often sit in the audience feeling really on edge. Im really hoping as time goes in I enjoy it more - it has however stopped me feeling nervous when I perform so there’s a plus side at least

Romany we sometimes have to “divide and conquer” so each dc only gets one of us to watch . Dh misses lots as he often stays home with dd . I try and go but don’t think I will be making all the brass band concerts this time in fact I offered not to go if ds feels me in the audience is too much pressure !! He says it’s fine but I’m definitely not going to the contest in march my nerves really couldn’t stand that !!
Can’tkeep that sounds really hopeful I’ll keep everything crossed !!

Shift work and two other children mean we miss loads but I'm weird and don't enjoy watching them perform anyway. When dd2 is doing musical theatre stuff I always try to chaperone a good few of the performances and 'see' it that way as I just can't relax in the audience. I seem to have an incredible instinct for missing dd1's solos at cathedral but she says I make funny faces and in general have a habit of appearing especially moved when it's all going wrong

Romany with 5 DDs I am constantly missing stuff, despite my best efforts. I always ask for a ‘solo performance’ at home but obviously it’s not quite the same (especially for the ensemble/group work that I miss). At the end of this term we’ve got a 4 way clash so I’ve had to commit to DD2’s event, send DD1 to DD5’s, grandma to DD4’s and godmother to DD3’s. We’re fortunate to the have that network but it doesn’t make missing it much easier. Wish I could make everything but it just isn’t feasible

I'm glad I'm not the only one, I feel bad because I usually see the ensemble concerts, but this is the second time I've missed this now.
I tell myself that the kids with parents abroad don't get to attend any concerts, but I know dd gets upset if we miss special ones.

zac. Many thanks, I had an email from a parent saying it was good.
This doesn't make me feel any better

I try to make it to the kids performances but its not always doable. Sometimes they are playing at the same time in different places.

The Christmas countdown had started in earnest and the calender is filling fast inclding concerts 3 nights in a row..... so long as none want sound checks the day before we're probably ok....

I think for those who have DCs playing in multiple ensembles, especially in widespread locations, it is physically impossible to be at every performance. It hasn't been an issue for us as our DCs aren't as advanced as others on the thread so aren't exposed to as many playing opportunities - and when they do play in an ensemble it's very local.

But I remember when I was playing a lot as a teen, it was quite often rather freeing not to have my parents in the audience. I was often much more relaxed if I knew family were not watching.

She was amazing Romany!!!

Yes Romany. DS was playing at St Albans Cathedral this morning - not much chance of us being there I'm afraid. We have at least 2 day trips to London planned in December but expect to miss things as we go along this journey, due to the distances involved. Sorry you missed your dd's performance - I hope that you'll get another chance.

well done mini meltings, that sounds like lots of work for you too.
can't That does sound positive, hope you hear something first.

The question of lesson fees and payment.

We paid for one lesson in front for 2 instruments, and teacher would try to reschedule if short notice, but if we gave a couple of weeks or more they would just change the day.
We expected to pay for cancelled lessons, we were paying for the teachers time.

Mine was singing with the Big Band last night and absolutely gutted I didn't get to go, unfortunate set of circumstances.
she sang the most popular and well known female Jazz vocal and I missed it again.
Anybody else miss concerts?

Melting,

We hear round about the end of the month. We're not necessarily hopeful - there is more competition for this course than for the one where he had his first audition - but it is always good to know that the result will be based on a fair reflection of DS's playing rather than e.g. feeling the result would have been different if he had played 'better on the day'.

Trumpet - agree. DS had audition Friday, JD yesterday, all-day school show rehearsal today ... it doesn't slack off until 21st December now.

So today the crazy concert schedule in the run up to Christmas begins . Ds either has a concert or a music course ( or both !!) every weekend between now and December 21st !! Often more than one .... today’s is a really long drive from our house but should be lovely /- though ds is playing solo cornet ( and probably sight reading lots of the music !!) so no pressure then !! It is however really lovely how this brass band have welcomed him and trusted in his playing I’m really pleased I decided to make the effort to take him ( though the rehearsals are also miles from our house)

That sounds really positive cant - fingers crossed? How long before you hear?