October Music Thread

In the comments section on the mark sheet from his G8 Trumpet exam my ds is referred to by another childs name (it was the preceding candidate). I've decided to try and get the sheet re-written and have just contacted Trinity. Not sure if they will do this, but its very annoying!

String I have no idea how she keeps 2 first studies going !! Hats off to her

Stringchild - I don't want to pour complete cold water on the IB as overall i think it is great but combining with serious music is a big challenge. I know several children who have done it and then gone on to music college but it is a big challenge and a lots of work so need to be quite canny picking subjects.

With DS1’s school they have a simple but effective system: demerits and detentions are confirmed by the house room tutor. The tutor regularly has scrapped demerits received by DS1, if, for example, he has had a tough day, or is overwhelmed with commitments. Similarly, the tutor can spot and solve emerging pattern - eg a spate of late preps from DS1 in y7 turned out to be because he had lost his planner and was scared to ask for a new one! The tutor has more of an overview than individual subject teachers.

I do agree that formal punishment for poor academic performance is harsh. We all have off days!

But I do wish she would downgrade one instrument - really does add to the pressure to try to keep them joint.....

Oh dear dd is sure she wants to the IB route..... I find this handing out of detentions etc for a lower test or homework result a bit odd. For a highly compliant child like dd it is a challenge - never had a demerit or detention in her school life but it’s slmost inevitable now I would say. Dd also expected to turn out to perform incl weekends so it is truely hard to juggle it some weeks. I do get the school can’t fkex for the many children doing stiff - guess I am lost for an answer 🙄

Druids I’m not taking it badly at all - i know it’s just the reality and I don’t expect preferential treatment for him ( though 1 less gcse would make life easier ) but I don’t want him to fear detentions or extra homework if he doesn’t do as well as the teachers want . He’s only in year 9 and so this year and next year should mostly be about doing his best in the time he has . It’s the attitude that if he doesn’t do well then he hasn’t tried that annoys me . I think he will end up doing far less music in year 11 to survive his GCSEs and that’s fine but he shouldn’t feel that he has to do that now .

Doubleup - going through IB hell at the moment with DD and it is not to be underestimated especially if DC wants to keep up music to a high level. My DD has definitely had to ease up on music and sport. Saying it does depend a little on subject choice. There are options to make is less demanding but IB Higher Physics (and Maths) is not one of them. DD has very academic friends studying A levels (starting with 4 dropping to 3) and they have so much more time for non-academic activities.

I feel for you & your ds Trumpet. Hopefully Amanda Spielmans proposals yesterday will bring meaningful & much needed change, removing the tyranny of Progress 8 targets etc. I feel slightly guilty, as I now find myself almost completely removed from the day to day management of my ds's time and the attendant stress. It was quite a shock at first but, as the term has progressed, I find that it has much to commend it! Very good luck to your ds for the NCO audition at the weekend.

Trumpet, only that teacher and dd says that she trusts her judgement as she says it like it is. She was distraught! One week to half term for her - just the scholar’s concert, a maths test, a biology test and 6th Form scholarship test to go before then...

folk half term can’t come soon enough for DD2 either. She also wants to do well in everything at school including sport. It’s a long school day and then trying to get everything fitted in is not easy - and she’s so stubborn! Small matter of her NCO audition next week to get past before then. Frustratingly little practice and focus happening. I think she is a little ambivalent about it at the moment and if you add tired and emotional, it is not a good mix. It’s fair to say that getting in will be a long shot this time round.

hmmm.. I can see Noo getting increasingly stressed about this kind of thing as she gets older. Music is important to the school, and her HoM carried a lot of clout so I am confident that they will be quite supportive. But she puts so much effort into all her lessons / homework and I can already see she is going to really struggle to have to compromise on that. They want to be brilliant at everything, don't they!!??

Noo having a hard week this week - I think the adrenaline rush of starting secondary school, JD and everything being completely new has finally taken it's toll. She is very clingy, emotional and has been sapped of all her energy. I wonder if she might have some kind of virus.... We've been cancelling all extra-curricular except for practice (which has been short and focused) and trying to have some chill-out time. Roll on half term!

Posted too soon - imagine cutting back on

Double to your dd that’s awful and not how school should have talked to her . To me it doesn’t sound like the IB isn’t necessarily the right route for her just that she is a true all rounder and so has a lot on !! This will be my dd in a few years , she is the opposite of ds and is very involved in a wide variety of extra curricular stuff all of which she loves and can never imagin

DD1 is the one struggling a little at the moment with lots of deadlines looming and extra activities at school as well as externally. Various end of unit tests, but with little time to revise and get homework done due to theatre trips (English), D of E trsining weekend (through school), scholar’s concert next week, Grade 7 sax exam in 6 weeks etc. Also having a panic about art GCSE coursework due to be handed in after half term when she is spending 3 and a half days doing the county youth orchestra.

She went to the sixth form open evening thinking she wanted to do IB rather than A levels and all the teachers were very supportive as she is a true all rounder. Got to her physics teacher who completely destroyed her confidence by telling her that she shouldn’t even think of that as she’s not organised enough and she should do A level where they could ‘manage’ her and basically berating her in front of me. Really not how to deal with her! I was really cross! I then had to pick up the pieces at home. She now doubts herself completely. I have told her to go and have sit down with the head of year to talk through whether they think she is capable of doing the IB route. We think she is, but she will have to be ruthless with her organisation.

Alex but that’s a lovely attitude from the teacher and in fact ds’s teachers do all ( at least at parents evening) talk positively about his music . Taggie oh yes the pressure definitely comes from him too!!
Good luck to your ds with his grade 8 raspberry . Ds’s November and December are also scarily busy but at least he can breathe out over Christmas- I’m sure we’ll all survive it ( somehow !!) School shows do take up masses of time - ds is doing his again in November and whilst he looks forward to a week of no lessons for rehearsals that does also lead to its own pressures though the shows are always amazing and I like that school allow music and drama to take priority at times

for trumpet, floot and raspberry.

Pressure can come from the school, but also internally from DCs. For example, DS2 was frantically writing his history essay while waiting to go into his NCO audition warm up, although the teacher was happy for him to hand it in a day or two late!

Honestly, the pressure does not come from me or DH, and I do worry about how he will manage in later years when academic expectations ramp up (he is only 10 atm).

Sad reading the stories above. That is one of the reasons some people choose specialist school. My DS got in trouble early on for prioritising maths homework over a music event he considered to be not so important and got told never to do that again. However, doesn't need to be like that even at normal academic state school although I can see from the teacher and school's perspective where they are monitored so closely and become obsessed with narrow targets. At the state school my DCs attend actually the opposite is true. Sometimes they get dragged into music rehearsals ahead of a big event missing whole day of lessons. If there is a clash with say a sports fixture even if DC wants to play the match instead of music then HoM will make sure music gets priority.

Oh Trumpet it's really difficult.

We are waiting to find out when DS2s Grade 8 piano is, it is usually last week locally. Which will be first week of GCSE mocks. Not looking forward to that email.

We are also having a disagreement with the music dept though. DS2 is very heavily committed externally at the end of November/December. School is putting on a musical. The last two DS2 cleared his calendar and last year practised a lot as he was piano. Both times they changed their minds re band and he wasn't wanted.

This year he said no, they hadn't given dates, he had too much on. They kept asking. I wrote, also pointing out mocks. They are still making comments to him about how disappointed they are.

I am sorry Trumpet, it is very difficult explaining the full picture to someone who doesn't get it. I have a story, of course I do because I imagine most of us have by the time we've escaped school.

I thought we'd booked a music exam in a good time well before mock GCSEs only to find at the last minute that it was the same week as a language speaking assessment. He'd been working for it since January, ramping up to a 90 minute music lesson weekly, several sessions with the accompanist - all I was asking for at this late stage was to leave school one hour early on one day. A GCSE is a level 2 qualification, he was taking a level 4 but there was no doubt which they considered to be the more important.

What I told my distraught DS then was to consider which thing would mean more to him in two years time, what would contribute more to a uni interview and fit into his personal statement. As Floottoot said, it's about prioritisig what is most important and the school's priorities can be different. What I told school was that if it was a problem it could easily be resolved by dropping the MFL right now and what would they like me to sign? (it was then not so much of a problem)

I did not have a rounded child, I had a child that was really good at one thing. That didn't seem to help matters either.

Thank you for your kind encouraging words everyone he’s chirpy today and at least he will feel the pressures off a bit once the audition is over. For ds it’s all about the music really but doing enough to make sure he keeps his options open . He had some very challenging targets too - which also worried him yesterday I think . I don’t think he should - he can only do what he can do and i agree his priorities are his and don’t need to align with school’s - I have said that for ds we might all have to settle for slightly lower grades ( it’s not like he’s at risk of not getting 5s) because he has a very definite path that he wishes to follow and I think we need to give him time to see if it’s the right one - not sure that they agree though

...and I am glad I am not the only one with a DC that fears detentions!

trumpet; so relatable. Such an extensively used term now resilience but when it all piles up in one condensed period, it is so tough to watch them trying to power through. But your DS will...

Ah Trumpet I am hope it works out; dd’s School is selective but claims to want rounded kids - but equally academics will always come first for the teachers there whatever the rhetoric. I understand their viewpoint but dd is def putting academics first right now as the handing out of punishments for any poor tests etc is not something she would cope with.