October Music Thread

My DS is 12 too and there's no way he could fit in 2 hours ' a day - he struggles to practise every day as it is. That said, I'm not sure her choose to, even if he had the time.
Maybe disregard the actual 2 hour thing, because it's probably what the head of strings wants students to aspire to, rather than an absolute requisite, but do consider whether DS wants to be part of something that expects that level of commitment ( maybe that's the whole point of saying he needs to do 2 hours - to make sure he's serious and dedicated enough?)

Disorganised - sounds like they like him and are giving great advice so he will join them at some point. Am a bit surprised that they are so absolute re two hours per day though! I would say dd is done in every sense after 60 😉

Oh I should add though - no one at AYM has ever said how much , but that he should think about the benefits of certain ensembles vs practice also because they wanted to make sure he had a life
The hour and a half has kind of emerged as just what he does to fit all the different bits in / I do think it has to come from them it shouldn’t be a chore as they are so young ( and could be playing computer games instead )

Floottoot Ds is 12,and a Young 12 too (June).

Well done for the positive feedback hope he isn’t too disappointed

Ds is at at AYM not a London jd ( but a CAT scheme) but yes they are expected to do a lot.
Brass is a bit different he does about an hour and a half - more spread out at weekends etc if he has something coming up / has taken too much on( this happens a lot!!)

the only day he doesn’t practice is Friday because he has orchestra and we have to leave the house early . On brass band day and piano lesson day he still does trumpet ( though sometimes only an hour). Maybe you could work out a way of doing both on some days ?

His teacher doesn’t like that when he’s at AYM - so the whole of next week - he’s not practising his own stuff ( and that could become more of an issue I think - we’ll see)

How old is your ds, Disorganised?
2 hours a day is a lot to expect from any child of secondary age. I certainly wasn't doing that as a Junior!! In fact, when I was at music college full time, a very respected teacher/ performer told one of his pupils that 1.5 hours was ok as a minimum ( obviously more was better - but we're talking age 18+ and studying music full time, so...!)

Also, it's quality of practise, not quantity to a certain degree. I'm sure what one child might achieve in 1 hour might take another child 2 if they're unfocused, distracted, not working carefully etc.

I guess you have to ask yourself and your DS whether that sort of expectation is something you could/ would want to keep up with once he got into JD - it's presumably something that would only increase over time.

He's done well to get such positive feedback. It sounds like JD applications are much more demanding than when I auditioned many moons ago!

Morning all, I thought I'd come on here and update you all as mini disorganised had his Junior Guildhall audition on Saturday. Unfortunately he didn't get in but we received some amazing feedback from the head of strings who phoned me yesterday to discuss what he needs to work on. He was very encouraging and enthusiastic about him and said he really wants to see him in Feb for an assessment with a view to auditioning again in June. However,he was quite insistent that he had to by doing about 2 hours practice a day!!😵. Ds took the news well but I think he's more upset than he's letting on. Initially he said that there was no way he could do that amount of practice and we said that was fine but that would mean he wouldn't be able to audition again and we would have to re think. He answered that he really wanted to try again but perhaps he could manage an hour and a half. He really needs to give some of his ensembles/Orchestras up but he won't. We've said that we will support him whichever way he decides to go but he needs to be more independent with his practice. I guess we'll see. He's got a lesson tomorrow and I've emailed the report to his teacher so hopefully they will come up with a plan. It's so hard isn't it. Those who are at JD,do you really, honestly do 2 hours plus a day???

To be fair, Crazygirlmama, I think Patrick was saying that her husband unusual in the small group of families that she knows with musical children. I can imagine it's easy to feel out of step in that situation, when your child goes to a small, intense school and you're surrounded by parents who are both equally keen and involved.

I know I'm guilty of saying things about my personal situation that might be interpreted as hurtful by the person I'm talking to - for example, my friend who has terminal cancer was asking about my DD and I found myself telling her how hard it is to deal with a child with ADH D sometimes. Now, obviously, my friend just wants to be around to bring up her children, and my struggles are nothing, when compared to what she's going through, but she could still empathise ( I did kick myself afterwards).did

What I love about this group is that we are all in very different situations, all have very different families and problems, but we all have musical children in common, and hopefully understand the highs and lows we all go through.

for you, Crazygirl. Xx

Yes 1.30 am his school seem to love early starts . They have gone to Belgium to look at the battlefields a really important trip I think . Ds played the last post in a commemorative concert last week . Very moving. He will be back tomorrow exhausted but with lots to think about .

Double, I am sure DD2 did well. She must be glad it's over now?

Trumpet, you mean 1.30 am? Wow. Hope he has lovely time (I'm sure he will)!

Green, my DH has no idea what ABRM is and which grade exams DS has done neither. In fact he doesn't know many of things DS has done and achieved in his life. We had a little gathering with family friends last Saturday. DH asked me about DS's school and what DS was learning, etc, before going. He always does this quick checkup before this kind of gathering so that he could (knowingly) answer questions people may ask him about DS!

It's true DH's personality is somehow needed in our family dynamics. It would be quite boring and too predictable without his eccentricity and passion in certain areas.

Nicely sorted mini double 😀 I can’t wait till half term . Ds went on a trip at 1.30 this morning . A class of 3 year olds on very little sleep is no fun !! I need an early night !!

Can I envy you Patrick because he is supportive and to certain extend he understands when you explained. From my point of view he might be good keeping things balanced(some good sport at weekends along with all week boarding music school sound fantastic to me). My husband really needs me to tell him what is happening in the family(literally, every single thing). For example he knows which instrument the girls play but has no idea what is abrsm or what exam our 10 yrs old has done. We are in the middle of 11+ now and I gave him the school registration task and really many times I wish I didnt because it takes so much longer with every single question on everything as he really doesnt know, he doesnt know any school and really has no opnion, he doesnt understand the 11 selection process in UK. However, he is an extremely caring and fun dad(and a loving husband) he can spend hours for any activities they do(playing in the park, playing cards, read to them etc) and even I do moan but I do also think that works for us because I could then make any decision and I like it(maybe because he knows I like it so he has been like that ever since we met hmmm).

Not sure it should have happened in the first place Patrick. Possibly not put on tight enough. Ah well, we'll just have to wait for the next two months....

Well done to miniDouble2! I am sure her calm manner of sorting a problem during performance should be taken positively.

I ordered via amazon prime so I've got it now already! It'll be an interesting movie date for us....

Actually best not show DH. If he watches that film and thinks it may be close to reality may want to take DS out of his school :)

Patricks - here's one for you and DH. Dinner scene in Whiplash on comparative family/friend excitement at sports achievements vs music. One of the best college jazz drummers in the US gets a bit a fed up and says it's just college division three.......

Patrick, DH here is sometimes not so supportive of music and would happily encourage the DCs to skip practice. It varies, but I get tired of playing the role of enforcer while he gets to be the fun parent

NCO audition done. Apparently her reed managed to work loose near the end of her second piece, but her accompanist kept playing and DD missed two beats to sort it and came back in at the right place. Hopefully that won’t be looked at as too much of a negative, but instead noted that she can take reed issues in her stride. She still came out smiling. Now for a few days of down time as half term has now started.

Anyway, enough of talking about DH! It seems we have a rare case here as I haven't met anyone in my tiny music world who has family issues similar to us. Everyone seems to be on board. I'm so envious.

DH cannot sleep without exercise so no matter how late he comes home he does something everyday. He was telling me DS wouldn't be able to sleep as he didn't do any significant exercise on Sunday. I think his intention is good. He cares about DS. But I think he's just missing a bit of imagination and basically can't really get it people are different (DS slept well that night..).

DH was fine with DS learning musical instruments as long as it wouldn't get in the way of his commitment in sport. It wasn't a problem before as DS was a sport mad like his dad and he always prioritised sports over other things. But when DS was at around 9, he started showing more interest in music but he hardly had enough time for it due to his sports. He really had a tough year of persuading DH to let him cut down his training sessions... DH couldn't believe a boy would choose music over sports (really!) so didn't take his word seriously as all, and he even got really angry with DS asking about it. DH really liked jd however, and he became quite supportive and finally agreed to move DS down to a lower team so the training wouldn't be that intense. He also likes DS's school. But it's sometimes as if he's expecting DS to do well in music without letting him commit fully. DH is very diligent for his own goal so he knows how important to be hard-working. But somehow, I don't know, he doesn't seem to get it. When we talk things through, he does understand and becomes supportive for a while but he quickly goes back to how he was. His friends' DCs are all super sporty, and perhaps he gets influenced by listening to what their boys are doing and achieving. He often says 'X and Y go to this training, Z is doing that race, why aren't you doing any of them?' Then I would remind him what DS is doing but those other boys are not doing - everybody is different!!!!

Well, we can't change people, but can change ourselves. So I'm learning to deal with this side of DH (otherwise he's really lovely...) and am hoping DS learns not to feel any pressure from DH (though it's hard as DS adores dad and of course he wants his recognition/approval).