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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

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Original poster

Music Specialist School Discussion

343 replies

Kutik73 · 10/06/2018 22:58

Sorry, this is rather long…

We’d never considered specialist school route for our musical DS, especially at such a tender age (he is Y6). However, we’ve recently started seeing it could be an option in possibly near future.

The state secondary school DS is supposed to start from September has good reputation with a wide range of extracurricular activities and music is one of their strengths. However, they also hand out heavy amount of academic work daily, and basically keep their pupils pretty busy. Keeping teens busy could be a good thing, especially for those who may get in trouble or glue themselves to screen otherwise. But DS loves music and he likes to immerse himself in music more, but in reality, he’ll have less time for such freedom once he starts secondary school. The additional journey time is another thing. It takes 45 mins to get there, whereas it’s only 5-10 mins currently.

A friend suggested we could see specialist school as a small private school with strong music activities rather than a place where all DCs were aiming to be professional musicians.

Her logic is, the class size is a lot smaller than the state secondary school so pupils get more attention hence learn more efficiently, all the while there is no compromise in music studies. DCs who are keen to keep up academic work on top will manage to get good enough GCSE results for decent sixth form if they decide to pursue other than music for A level/uni. Although sixth form seems the most popular (and sensible) time to join specialist school, KS3 is actually the best time because if DCs change their mind on course, it’s easier for them to return to ‘normal education’ possibly at sixth form with good enough academic record and musical ability strong enough to be a music scholarship material. But if they stay focused on music and in fact decide to take it seriously, starting early will only become beneficial. Though, it depends on circumstance of course, and instrument. DS plays violin/piano for instance - hence early start can be rather important.

However, I heard and read some scary stories about music specialist school while I was researching. Some claimed they felt like they were living in a prison, some expressed unhappiness (even though they recognised the benefit and appreciated their fortunate position), some teachers talked about very able young musicians going to specialist school as a huge mistake, etc…

DS innocently expresses strong desire to go to music specialist school. I, as a parent, wish him happiness more than anything. By accepting his desire and letting him go where he says he likes to go, am I pushing him into a harsh and scarily competitive world unnecessarily? Or, like my friend suggested, it could be a lot more flexible than I may have been thinking and in fact could be good alternative KS3 education for musical and academic DCs?

Any thoughts/knowledge/experience would be greatly appreciated…

OP posts:

hertsandessex · 18/06/2018 12:06

Kutik - you may still be thinking but is your DS? Sounds like he has made his mind up and very hard to change it. In our case once we got to the offer stage it would have been very impossible to change his mind without a lot of resentment. Saying that I can understand how state school combined with JD is still a very good option.

Original poster

Kutik73 · 18/06/2018 11:37

Paul & herts, that's what DS said to me. He said he played with older kids most of times (since there are not many boys in his year group and DS shared his room with an older boy). And hearts, cricket, basketball and hockey are not allowed to play at DS's music school!

Today, we had a meeting with HoM at state secondary where DS won a music scholarship.

I expected state school to be quite rigid in rules, especially this particular one, but surprisingly they appeared to be very open and flexible to cater individual needs. At some point, HoM asked DS if DS would be thinking of music as future career and DS said 'yes' (he'd never said that so clearly to me!). Then DS expressed his concerns about time management and possible clash between music and other school commitments. HoM said school would be willing to support whatever their pupils would like to achieve and therefore would be there for DS to find the balance. DS could come in early morning to use their music facilities, and he can access to the practice room through a day if needed. They have lots of performance opportunities and in-school competitions. They also offer challenging programme to advanced players as they have quite a few talented musicians. So there would be no chance for DS to be be bored musically.The school is also very much keen to keep all the doors open so the pupils will be challenged and stretched academically too, at least until Y11. They has lots sports also...

I thought we have decided but I found myself still thinking...

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hertsandessex · 18/06/2018 11:22

...and yes lots of basketball etc with girls. Biggest shock for us was suddenly being so many more girls than boys which brings it own challenges.

hertsandessex · 18/06/2018 11:20

I was about to say the same. The year divides don't matter so much. In my DS's year only 5-6 boys I think and he ends up doing lots of things with people from other years. It is all just one big group. Even boarding rooms are with people from year above or below.

Paulweller11 · 18/06/2018 11:17

He might find the girls in his year like football. Sometimes my dd plays football with the boys and girls.
Also, he’ll probably play with the older boys/girls, there’s probably no real Year group divides, as the yr groups are so small.

Original poster

Kutik73 · 18/06/2018 11:04

I would also love to hear how it went, raspberry.

Suppose it depends on the size of the school. DS's choice of school is tiny. There are only one or two boys in DS's year so there is great chance that neither is interested in physical activities! I am saying this as one of DS's best mates is not into sports at all. They get on well and play a lot together, but DS knows the boy doesn't enjoy running around so DS goes to play someone else when he wants to do some physical stuff. He's been fortunate to have different types of friends so he always has 'play mate' for things he does and enjoys. I just wonder how DS will be or feel IF both boys in his year are like his best mate so he has no one for running around together 5-6 days a week!! He may be fine. But he's never been in such a situation!

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Paulweller11 · 18/06/2018 09:08

How did the advice audition go raspberry

raspberryrippleicecream · 18/06/2018 08:05

We went to an advice audition at a different one last week, and as we went past the grounds at lunchtime we could hear a football being kicked around by a few kids!

hertsandessex · 18/06/2018 00:17

If anything like our experience then there will plenty of others who like running around playing basketball, tennis, lifting weights etc. In fact maybe too much as often hear of sports related injuries. Tell him not to catch a basketball the week before a recital :)

Original poster

Kutik73 · 17/06/2018 23:49

Thanks for all the kind supportive words.

Lack of sports.... This may become a serious problem, perhaps more than academics...

I am not too bothered about the amount of PE available. Twice a week is pretty normal in state sector anyway. But, for instance, DS's current class has many sportsmen. So they always run around together at breaks. They play football, basketball, manhunt and so on. I wonder how many DCs at the music school are interested in running around, sweating around. DS has a vast amount of energy which he needs to consume. He may get frustrated if he is the only one who craves and enjoys physical exercises...

Tonight, when he went to bed, he said, 'Ah, I really wanna go back to that school... It was so much fun..' I hope he'll feel the same when he starts spending more time there...

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hertsandessex · 17/06/2018 23:02

Kutik - just catching up and saw this thread. Congratulations on the place and I can really understand what you went through making a decision. As you know we went though this with our son and Purcell a couple of years ago. The only negative we have found is really lack of sports and general issues with small year group and class sizes. It will probably all work out wonderfully but there is always the chance to change especially after GCSEs and many seem to. Personally I always wonder about YMS being too specialised musically but I'm sure you can find other opportunities to create broader experiences. There is of course always the possibly to switch to another specialist music school at a later stage. I know one person who went to Chets, Purcell and Wells! Good luck with it all.

Paulweller11 · 17/06/2018 21:12

Congrats on making a decision- I’m sure he’ll love it.
Like Gilly says- it really is like marmite- you either love it or hate it.

folkmamma · 17/06/2018 18:49

I think this is a great decision Kutik! He may even end up doing more sport and other fun stuff in the end as the pressure won't be on with Music so much at the weekend, he will get so much of it during the week.

Really looking forward to hearing all about Mini-kutik's next adventure!! 😍

druidsong · 17/06/2018 18:46

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

Original poster

Kutik73 · 17/06/2018 17:39

ShackUp

We had a family meeting. Surprisingly the sport mad DH didn't get put off by their lack of sports and in fact seems to recognise how happy DS would be in the school, at least for now. He agrees we'll review the situation regularly to make sure DS's well-being and happiness and continue providing DS right environment whatever happens. DS can go back to 'normal school' at any time. We'll make it work.

So..., DS is going to his dream school from September. Such a long and winding road we took! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, advising and guiding and generally being there for us. We are not where we are without you.

Happy day to all!!!

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ShackUp · 17/06/2018 00:16

I wish your DS the best of luck, he sounds like an amazing kid, and a great fit for this kind of environment

ShackUp · 17/06/2018 00:15

OP argh that vid is me!

Original poster

Kutik73 · 16/06/2018 23:26

I know! DS and I probably watched all their silly channels! Their viola jokes are a bit too much though (for me)!

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TaggieOHara · 16/06/2018 23:06

Well done Kutik! What an opportunity!

Love the perfect pitch youtube btw! That was me trying to teach the DCs aural, bellowing, ‘can’t you HEAR it’s a D?’ I’m sure they would have loved to beat me to a pulp with a pillow... I’ll show it to DS2 tomorrow!

Those guys are so funny. For more light relief:

raspberryrippleicecream · 16/06/2018 21:55

What if he injured and couldn't play any more. What is he going to do?

I know someone who has a daughter who was a talented swimmer, with all those early morning sessions. Unfortunately an injury in a PE lesson at school put an end to her dreams. She's picked herself up and got on with other plans.

Enjoy this special time Kutic

folkmamma · 16/06/2018 20:54

Personally, I've always firmly believed it's better to regret something you HAVE done than something you WISH you had done....

Icouldbeknitting · 16/06/2018 20:41

What if he injured and couldn't play any more. What is he going to do?

Something else then, just like all the other children do that don't have a grand passion. They take some GCSEs, maybe some A levels, maybe a degree and wander off into the world. The lack of Latin is not going to close many doors to him.

If we started with "what if" then no-one would ever do anything. What if I was struck by a bus crossing the road, what if a piano fell on my head, what if - well you get the picture. No-one knows what tomorrow will bring, you just have to make the best decision you can today. If it later turns out to be the wrong one then you can usually change it later.

Original poster

Kutik73 · 16/06/2018 20:03

Japanese

ShackUp, DS loves music, and he seems to think of music all the time (unconsciously though) such as playing some musical games, figuring out things he just heard, etc - it's all just fun for him. But he is not as obsessed as you were. He does lots other things. That's what the teacher pointed. She said a child like him who has many other interests should not be thrown in such intensive environment. I wonder if she would have agreed if DS had been like you.

By the way, people often mistake DS has perfect pitch. Even the violin teacher thought he had. But he doesn't. He just has a very very good relative pitch - all learnt not born with it.

After a few serious discussion, let's have a bit of laugh.

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Japanese · 16/06/2018 19:48

Yaaaay! Go family kutik!!

Your DS will shine kutik - whatever path he ultimately decides on in the future

Original poster

Kutik73 · 16/06/2018 19:44

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It's been so so helpful hearing many voices - negative, positive, all of them. As some of you pointed, no one has a crystal ball, and eventually we just have to decide what we believe best for DS. Whatever we decide nothing will be permanent. Things are adjustable.

We may be making a bad choice. But I feel DS deserves a chance to taste what he fought so hard to obtain. What kind of life lesson I may end up giving him if we say 'no' to him after all this...

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