November Music Thread

Loose she didn't say anything, she said she's used to her mean comments. But you are right, is not the friend's comment that annoy me the most, it is the fact her mum was there and said nothing.

drummers no advice just to say DS (15 also) spent the day out all day. Not sure that's healthy either

Please tell your DS drummers that he is amazing on the piano, the drums video didn't work, will try again later.

Fleur you're right, if someone deliberately makes you feel bad then avoid them. I think the girl's comment was bratty but her mother ignoring it was even worse.
Poor Minifleur. I hope she isn't too upset. It must have been hard for her to know what to say.
drummersmum - we've had a very occasional Sunday like that but not every one. That sounds very frustrating to say the least.

Fleur unbeliavable.
green I agree with you re revision of the concepts learnt, and also the importance of independent learning but I just wish more of it was actually done during the school day. Today is Sunday, DS has not left the house. This is every Sunday now. Is it normal or healthy for a 15 year old to be sitting all day working and not even go out for 15 min? Ok, I confess he did one hour of piano and 30 min of drums, but he's allowed to have a hobby. He's studying the Weimar republic, I'm trying to find time to see a documentary about it together or Cabaret and I can't. Is that normal? That I can't even complement his learning in a different way? Sorry, it's just one of those days for me...

NeverEver I am still upset about the comment as the friends mum is my friend. DD said nothing but told me once they left. I was and still am fuming. I considered saying something but then remembered that is not the first dig the friend has at DD leaving DD upset or the mother does at me (but I am an adult therefore I can take it).

So decided to cut ties, better that way as this is what DD wants also. Shame really as they've been friends for a while...

Fleur at that sort of behaviour!

Oh and I may sound bitter, it isn't at all like that, if anything DD IS the one at a higher ability in these conversations, I just don't like pointing out, it is the constant conversation that is always about academics, abilities, who's better, I often wonder what happened with the good old friendship? DD was mortified last week when her friend looked at one of her drawings and said "this would have been so much better if I would have drawn it" That actually makes me so angry as her mum was there and said nothing.

Green honestly we are 9 months away from the local 11+ exam and I am very relaxed. I have decided to disengage from all the competitive parenting. In fact I am going as far as avoiding parents with kids the same age. It will ruin a few friendships (well one on my side and one on my DD's) but it is only so much competitive behaviour both myself and DD can take. It is starting to upset both of us, the constant digging, the constant "mine is better than yours" be it academics, music, arts, sports and so on. Both of us need to distance ourselves and I am convinced that DD will do great in any school regardless.

So what your DD does, enjoying herself, being able to do different stuff such as music, art, sports, besides academics it is so much more important in developing a great adult.

Green my dd was in very ordinary state schools for primary and middle school. She hardly worked until Y10. She's now in a selective class (the only truly selective class in the whole county, so there are a number of very bright kids) and it's fine. You wouldn't be able to pick out the kids who went to "nicer" middle schools versus the kids were at deprive ones. I am inclined to think that (at least for bright kids) it makes very little difference in the long run, as long as they are socially integrated and their classes are not so disruptive as to make teaching impossible.

Green - honestly, I truly think your DD is much, much better off doing what she does. It sounds like, thanks to you, she reads widely and enthusiastically and she has an instinct for maths. You can't tutor for that. All that, plus the experience of music that she has, is better for her in the long run than intensive tutoring, and it will show when she does entrance exams. As she gets older, she will be really engaged with learning.
Although our primary school was very good in lots of ways, they just seemed to have the oddest attitude of what homework should be. DS1 was a bit too much of a free spirit for it until year 6, whereas DS2 has always just got on with it!

To be honest since reception I have never done homework with her. In the past I used to have an amazing nanny who helped her with homework( reading books/records) and it might have meant our nanny actually did it for her. I wasnt the best mom by then regarding to her education as I was working long hours and pumping myself with a dozen of hormones medication in hope of conceiving a second child. I eventually helpped her better by end/mid year 1 but still have never done homework with her. If they are maths or English then they usually takes max 30mins both. If they are science or research then she does it herself(and wandering on youtube most of the time). I remember once she was doing a research about all London bridges across river Thames it was 5 lines and a horrible drawing of the Tower bridge. I dont usually pack her book bags but on that Saturday I did then on Sunday I took her to see the bridge again, we sat in a cafe and I waited for her to draw the bridge again and to rewrite what she knows(that might be the best of her homework ever). After that I randomly checked her work but havent found much the research type. I do help her though for example bought a colourful times table printer and sticked it in the kitchen. We do maths challenged and that was her favourite when we tested her how fast and accurate she could do with her mental maths. We used to send her to a tutor centre for 3 months where our main aim is having childcare covered during this time. They called early learning centre and they gave her yr 6 works and she still got 100%( was in yr3 by then) then I found its no point. She is doing ok however many of my friends' children are doing better and my friends seriously coaching their children in such an intensity that I refuse to involve in any tutoring and 11+ discussion( I withdraw from any group chat/discussions and try to avoid these subjects over meet up/dinners/parties and told all my friends that I am nervous however dont want to discuss about it right now). My thinking is I dont want her to have that stress too early or if we must I'd like it to be a private one in my family only, a subject that I am not comfortable or confident to discuss. Personally I found being rounded is more important too so I guided her to focus on her music and swimming and physical activities for now. Gosh, writting an essay here again, I should stop.

Green - that kind of homework would have been ok - what we got for most of primary school was get mum to do this with you type homework or research random subject on the entire internet homework, leading to mum saying no! Don't cut and paste from Wkipedia and if you must Google at least put KS2 in the search!
I was just miffed because when they needed to do research we usually had a book in the house on the topic and they wouldn't use it!

Ha! Best kind of teenage relationship, Mistigri! Seriously, though, I loved 'Sugar' - both the songs are great, but that was quite special. And her voice is so mature!
Fleur I would have thought the same way as MiniFleur at her age - though I really wasn't as talented!
Totally agree on homework. Primary school was a series of arguments and cajoling with DS1 over mostly pointless homework. (I actually walked out of the house once for 5 minutes to avoid swearing at him!) Luckily, at secondary school, he just rushes through most of it at lunchtime. Poor DS2 - he gets on with it without the attitude, so gets less attention!

Drummers: opposite here I am a big fan of home work or anywork given by school/teachers and even better if its can be done at school, I think revision of the concepts learnt is the key, challenged to higher level of concept understanding is all another key. I know I am living in a dream land where when I got home from work some practice has been done, a tiny bit of extra work for either maths/english have been given and completed and supervised by teachers(this could have happened if I could afford prep schools).

Drummer it's Grade 7 piano. And you'renot the only one. This thread is so well used, which is lovely, it's difficult to keep track!

I'll listen to the tracks when we get home Misti, chaperoning advent carol service this afternoon.

Schoolwork. Older DC prioritised schoolwork. DC2 is Y9 and not as enthused. However, he frequently has time out for various music related things and the deal is school must be ok with work done.

Yes, he's very good. They met at music camp. Nice lad, but lives a 6 hour train journey away so not too much distraction in term time .

mistigiri Omg she's only 15. You'd never tell. Ah, yes I noticed the change in registry in the guitar solo. Nice playing too, boyfriend

Would anyone who has just spent 9 hours in an office want to come home and sit down to do some more accounting and then fit in seven more hours on the weekend? Then why do we inflict that in our children I wonder? I hate homework so much. It gets in the way of music, reading, hobbies, family time, life skills learning, outdoor time...

And this, totally. DD's school day inc transport is 6.45am to 6.30pm (7.30pm two days a week). And then homework, including at least 4-5 hours at weekend (usually more). She is aiming (academically) high but I secretly wish she would consider doing something to do with music ...

drummer thank you! The solo was done by her boyfriend who is a different sort of guitarist (more rock). DD is only 15 though quite a grown up 15 ...

mistigiri I absolutely loved them! Is the guitar solo on Sugar played by her? Sugar has a real jazzy thing going on there and it's so good. is her dream to make a career out of composing and singing? I know it's tough, but she's got so much to say and such a lovely voice. She's what, 17 now...?

Raspberry good luck with DS exam. I completely forgot grade and instrument. Am I the only one that's completely unable to put names with ages, grades and instruments in this thread without it becoming a big muddle? Please say no

Re academic work, oh, the big issue! I can't say I have a problem, as DS loves doing well and enjoys some tasks (essays mainly) so he will struggle to fit in the work and usually spend twice the time expected on the things he likes. But would he prefer to practice instead? You bet!! In fact, the first thing he wants to do when he comes home (average arrival time is 6pm because of ensembles and rehearsals ) is to practice, not sit down to do homework. But he does all the homework, sometimes till 10pm which drives me crazy as I take sleep as seriously as food and water. And then on Saturday AND Sunday. Would anyone who has just spent 9 hours in an office want to come home and sit down to do some more accounting and then fit in seven more hours on the weekend? Then why do we inflict that in our children I wonder? I hate homework so much. It gets in the way of music, reading, hobbies, family time, life skills learning, outdoor time... The list is endless. Oh well.

Mistigri: looking forward to see the track once I have wifi.

Loose, Fleur, all: thanks, I had some scales revision this morning, honestly, the whole g5 is all about scales. We found it tedious because I have someone who doesnt like repetition and easily gets bored. However thats all the reason I'd like her to get over and appreciate the repetition requirement of abrsm scale exams, to increase her resiliency too. Lesson for higher grades, during the breaks time between exams, practise some scales wouldnt hurt, it will reduce work load later on.

Regarding to academic works, we are so hopeless these days, I told myself that we need to start picking things up but we just havent found time. She reads though, during the day she plays and reads, in the evening then 30-45mins piano. I mentioned long time ago in the previous thread that we simply just need to cut time spent in the loo mindlessly, taking ages to wake up etc so there are more time to play and some time to study. Its so hard to keep up and being on the same level with prep primary where children has (little) work to do each day, being pushed at school and parents can be relaxed(a little more). State schools, there is only 30mins homework and with these homework there isnt a chance for 11+.

Musical i have this problem with my son, though because we are not in the UK there is somewhat less at stake - there are no high stakes exams at 16 here. He knows he will pass his school leaving diploma (and I know that it doesn't matter much anyway though I am not telling him that). The issue for us is that French senior high schools require enormous levels of commitment from students if they want to do well (the average mark in my DD's maths class - which is a good class! - is under 50%!) and post-18 recruitment is based not on your baccalaureat result but on your coursework marks. DS is going to have a horrible shock next year. If anyone has a solution for lazy teenage boys I would love to hear it.

DD could do with studying less but that is quite another problem :-/

She has just finished some new videos, both original compositions (the first is brand shiny new, the second one is quite old now but we somehow never got round to polishing up a demo track she did a year or so ago).

Loose I think it is a combination of both, she likes the certificates but also she feels she isn't the actual grade till she takes the exam, for example she was learning grade 3 pieces but stating she is grade 1 level as she didn't pass grade 3 yet (or taken grade 2 exam).

She is modest though, there are still kids at her school who don't know she plays any instruments, so I think she feels she is achieving something when she sees the certificate.

Musical at least your DD practises instead of revising my DS has no clue what he wants to do and revision is very little.

Congrats to Drummersboy ! Fantastic achievement.
Out of interest, is there anyone else here who struggles getting teenage Dc's to do adequate schoolwork (eg. Not rushed and bad at 11pm on Sunday.. ) My Dd never revises enough for tests and always puts practice first. This is fine by me as she wants to be a musician but I'm a bit worried with GCSES coming up. Hopefully she will work it out.....

Fleur I think you're right - avoid arguments and coordinate with the teacher! if this one has gone very well, and I bet it has, then I think the teacher would be keen to skip a grade anyway. Is it about collecting certificates or being worried people won't know what level she's at?
Good luck to MiniGreen and miniRaspberry with exams - nearly there!
I'm looking forward to a Music service Christmas concert next Saturday and the school one towards the end of term and that's quite enough for me!
Meanwhile, I'm thinking about joining a community choir to help reinforce aural practice. Does anyone else do this? There's a local one where you apparently don't have to audition!