November Music Thread

I think that is the reason for which I need to cut ties now, next year 11+ exam is near so I can only imagine what will happen then...

We've had the "oh you haven't finished that verbal reasoning book yet? I finished mine 6 months ago. Oh are you on book one maths book only? I am already on book 3 (certain type of maths prep books)." To the extent where last time she was visiting I had to do a quick run around the house to hide all the academic stuff so there is no conversation on it. She even sent DD a screen shot of her half term prep she was doing (music and academics) to show her she is working harder. But as I said all these were said to DD directly so no adult present.

Then the drawing comment came...

Fleur - its def the adults that set the tone; shocking what some children say during the 11+ period, but of course they get it from 'somewhere'....

Gilly - how horrid! and how can anyone be so blinkered to think you can by-pass talent and hard work to go to any vocational school?!?

Gilly

Thank you for cheering me up ladies! I tend to smile and nod and congratulate the parent on their genius child generally but when it gets to DD as a "I'm better than you" in front of another parent and that parent doesn't address it I find it so hurtful. I know we can't protect our kids all their life though so I tried some role playing with DD last night to give her some tools to respond, such as "that was mean to say, real friends aren't mean to each other" or "I don't like competing against my friends" type of responses.

Not sure she'll use them though as she is generally taken by surprise even though it isn't the first time it happened.

As I said I more disappointed with the parent rather than the child, kids will be kids and I understand that sometimes they are mean to each other, it is the adults that should react on hearing such mean comments from their kids.

On the subject of competitive/ nasty comments from parents, hear this one

When dd gained her place at school she went to one of her activities where there was a really competitive mum.
As we weren't her type for conflict she left us alone usually.
i.e no competition for grammar school as my dd isn't all that bright at times.
her dd same age also did music but the mum thought she could buy her way in or her dd was bright and this was enough.
So anyway, dd mentioned place at school and the mum in front of dd said Wow I never thought you'd have passed the entrance exam.
To which I replied what entrance exam, she did auditions.
Mum was quite put out that the school didn't have an exam, and more put out that place was offered irrespective of income.

She was an awful woman, nobody liked her and she thought herself and dd were better than everyone else because of money and academic ability.

Re competitive parents - I just smile and say "Well done to your DC!" and back away carefully. I can do gracious when I want to.

We have one more week of music school! The last week is chaos a concert.

Se22: hahaha, honestly its better that the homework is from school, once you have 30mins home work A WEEK and about 8 times each term then you will understand. We have children in my daughter class pulled to prep as they needed more help and better prep for secondary entrance.
String: best of luck to ministring, you have a nerve of steel.
Fleur: the best way to survive may be learning from Prada, to laugh it off and focus on what we need to do.
Have a good week ahead everyone!

And a reminder

Fleurdelise I hope this will cheer you up too

Well good to hear it isn't just me who seem to find the competitive parents/friends irritating. I had the "oh DD finished this book long time ago" also. How rude.

Don't get me wrong DD (and DS of course) are the best kids on the planet of course but I'd never dream to state or show this in any way.

I need to see miniMisti tomorrow, I love her voice, I just had such a busy day...

Green: wish we had was homework... also year 4 it takes so long. Swap please?

Green no def not TV talent shows (too exploitative/ only interested in a commodity they can sell and not artistic development).

Tbh I don't know where she goes next, if anywhere. I do think she has some songwriting talent; she can also sing, but her voice is nothing exceptional. Whether there is any mileage in trying to seek out more opportunities than the ones that just turn up randomly (like the Yaël Naim support slot), I genuinely have no idea.

I noticed this thread was busy and wondered what the news was and had forgotten about exams

Absolutely lovely recordings and results, I was so far behind I had to go back pages.
So not going to list everyone as I'm bound to miss somebody out.
It is really lovely to hear your stories, I remember when I had loads to say, but don't get to know what's going on much.
No exams atm, possibly a grade 3 Piano in spring, who knows as Piano is painstakingly slow for dd and down the list a bit.

I understand where you are all coming from with the homework, we had a similar experience and was partly the reason dd asked for H.ed
Completely different as she was only little, but even reading and spelling took her time away from practice and she was tired enough after school anyway. It's hard to fit it all in and cope with school as well, you have my sympathy. It's great for dd and friends as homework is timetabled into the day as prep, along with everything being in the same place cutting down travel time.
I'm sure there are disadvantages with it too though, I'm not sure I'd like a huge part of my life being in one place.
Good luck wishes for those with exams, festivals and auditions coming up, there are some very talented children mentioned on this thread.

Green - - i feel for you; but on the bright side - we didn't tutor dd for the round of entrance exams we are finally coming to the end of. Offers will - or will not - start arriving later this week, and we will then see how foolish i may have been....but when i look at the children with 3-4 tutors (and these are very bright kids already) and no time for anything for 12-24 months, well i just knew we couldn't do it to dd. So we will see - we have some fall back schools that have jan-feb entrance exams, but i have seen dd really start to 'get it' this autumn, in her own time/way, and i am hopeful she will have get her favoured school. But i swear she has to stay wherever she goes until she is 18!!

Green (part 2) - don't assume you haven't got into nco until letter arrives - they are looking for something 'special' in the child; that doesn't mean things will be perfect every time

Fleur/Prada - such boasting is par for the course in our current environment. DD was doing homework in front of some non-school friends yesterday, and the mom proudly told us that her dd had finished that maths book at least 12months ago...so rude to write off the whole of my dc's school in one sentence:) . But love the card

Drummers - sounds horrific; i sympathise and dread the future!

Mistigri: love her track, she has such a beautiful sweet voice, does she consider to try Xfactor or similar?
Loose: why not do it, it must be super fun. What are commitments that they needed?

Trumpet I agree about weekend homework. I've told the school that too... Not that it would make any difference but I really can't stand it.

That card is funny. You can think your child is the very best ever, but there really is not need to put anyone else down. What are they thinking? So insecure.

Fleur: I know your feeling, i have couple of friends, they are ok, just their children must be the best. I am learning to try to laugh it off and find a way to look at it in an amusing way.

Drummers: mine is similar to yours, could be happily to sit for hours readings or doing anything she is given( I wish its the same for music one day). I dont know what I can do when mine is 15 years old, there is some sacrifice they have to make if they prefer being a high achiever and if that is what they love doing then very little we could change it.

I agree ladies, if anything I realised that neither my friendship nor our DDs is what I thought it was. I would never allow my DCs to tell another child they are better at something and I would call them on their rudeness immediately.

I love the card Prada I feel better already.

I hate homework it ruins our weekends sometimes . dd is still at primary school and doesn't get too much ( and she's quite motivated) ds on the other hand just thinks it's gets in the way . his priorities are music, being 11 ( which involves being on his phone and painting warhammer figures) and then homework . however his school is really strict about it so it stresses him out and it just ends up casting a dark cloud over the weekend. he has three tests this week poor boy and probably loads more next week when he's also playing in 3 concerts so looking forward to that 😬

Drummers, dont worry, I needed one too so I am helping myself now while reading your posts(I may be the only one reading backward sometimes including books)

Gifted and Talented 1936

Drummersmum: completely agree. Apples don't usually fall far from the tree

Fleur. The whole 11+ Thing reminds me of the card I bought my friend recently : ignore it all and for you.

Sorry everyone I've been very grumpy and sour. I shall control myself from now on. Life is good

Thanks Fleur.
By the way, when a child behaves like this it's usually because there have been comments like that at home so no surprises about the mother who was probably very proud. And yes, spending all day out is great and very healthy