November Music Thread

We could sight reading with playing on the piano ok although sight singing is a disaster.

Aural tends to be a weaker area here too - particularly with DD2 who is very shy and doesn't want to sing in front of strangers meaning that she had a series of meltdowns in the lead up to her last exam. And sight singing -what's that about?!

Small question everyone: we cant sing and tonight lesson didnt go well as she could barely make a squeaky sound(that gene must come from me, I sing in squeaky sound). Any particular advice to help for these last minutes please. She still prefers to stick with singing. I cant moan enough about aurals and scales. Scales are better now. Aural becomes our weakest spot.

jaffacakes DS did a summer week there a few years ago. It was a super friendly atmosphere and he really enjoyed. Unfortunately the location it was such a treck for us from West London that we have not repeated the experience.

Greenleave I don't really socialise with parents, this particular mum in my expamle "invited" herself to my house-she asked for help with smth, and we just started to chat about school, etc.... I mean I can see where she is coming from but she put me in a position where I had to either pretend that her assumptions are right or to show off. Neither is good of course.

Fleurdelise you are right, children are always children, it is adults who are annoying. And sometime children just repeat adults-this is the problem!

green I work too and just don't have to get involved in academic stuff except maybe help DS with the occasional piece of written homework at the weekend. It means they are much more independent than the kids with helicopter parents. Don't stress, it sounds like you are doing a good job.

Obviously we are all proud of our kids and rightly so but there's a difference between being normally proud (which is healthy and good for kids' self-esteem) and making your kids' achievements the centre of your life (which isn't good for you or your kids).

Monkey: well done to your daughters, it must have been a super proud moment.

I am lucky that I dont have school gates issues and with any play date we never had time to chat about anything. I went to few parents drinks and helped with couple of fairs however I am apparently not in the same leagues where I have lost of the connection on whats happening at schools, academic, friendships. That is the sacrifice we have to make for working parents. I have quite a different level with my friends who are mostly expats, have good jobs, work hard to earn the current positions and expect their children working harder. I do see mine are not as good and its ok. We are comparing to our potential rather than anything else, as long as we improving and working then that is ok isnt it

Misti I have just listened to your DD, she is truly amazing! I hope I can buy her albums one day!

Only well that's a patronising assumption. DD is quite modest (or acting dumb) and I had a few comments but in a different way. There is another girl playing piano at her school and I had the "my DD says your DD is preparing for grade 5 piano, is it true?" with a look on their face like it is obviously impossible.

I am sure DD makes bad comments also, I don't want to think she is a complete Angel, is just that I always tell her not to show off with anything and if I'd hear her do so I'd step in immediately.

gillybeanz I choked when I read your story!

I have another problem. My dd can look and behave quite dumb at times :) when in fact she is quite the opposite. Couple of times people were talking quite sympathetically to me, the most recent conversation was when one school mum said - you have to find her strengths and help her to develop them. What she is good at? Of course I just had to nod and thank her for her advice but I confess I am just a human being so I said - at everything really.... She is doing year 6 maths, don't know what school is going to do about it next year, and that sort of things. And then I gave her all the info and links and book names to help her to prepare her older ds for SATS (I know all that staff as I need to entertain my dd at home somehow :)). That mum looked a bit puzzled, I must admit
But I truly don't know how to react when people truly " sympathise" as opposed to being nasty

Ladies I outed myself a lot here in the last few posts also so I wouldn't be surprised if this comes out in real life so I will stop with my exposure.

Monkey I love your essays, keep them coming, well done to your DDs.

DD didn't want to audition for the Christmas carols concert solos even though a few of her school friends encouraged her to do it but she's not that confident.

Misti we are in London but no selective schools nearby so no 11+ competitiveness. But there would be people like that everywhere, I imagine. You could be competitive about anything.

Gosh I am so shocked by these stories of competitive parenting. Is this what being a parent in London is like these days? Glad I got out before having kids. We have never never encountered anything like this. DD's class is selective but it's a very supportive environment, they help each other with maths homework, DD photocopies her revision cards for other students etc.

monkeypuzzle thank you. Maybe one day she will do a proper recording. There are grants available locally, and she has an application all ready to go in, but there is just no time to do it this year. Maybe next summer.

I love your story about folk night, hiccups are a singer's worst nightmare!

and sorry, speakers of computer not working again so can't listen to anyone at the moment (but hoping to get a new comp[uter soon)

Just pondering,whilest having 10 min before dc get home..... about busy (or not) with 11+ exams. We don't have this here but had to sit entrance exam for indep school.
I found a lot more busy the first year they actually started secondary school than the year preparing for it. Longer school hours, more homework which isn't due in a week (or 2), etc.

Little scare last week, when dc3 vomited the day before her piano exam, but luckely she was fine on the day itself.

Ah they are home....

Ladies I could regale a lot of tales about competitive parenting and materialism but would be at the risk of outing myself... Suffice to say, I don't engage. It is however, the main reason we are choosing schools far away to escape that level of toxicity amongst classmates which will no doubt continue as will the level of materialism...

Love the idea of the 11+ bond book of manners though. Can think of many recipients!

I tell my DC to say "well done you" to people who boast to them, "thank you" to praises, and I say "thank you, they've worked hard" if people praise them to me whether they are there or not, and I say "well done, you must have put in a good effort" to other children.

There doesn't seem to be any need to be nasty.

I still remember one of my very nice teachers in secondary school (that was when dinosaurs walked the earth ) expressing surprise that I got an A in one subject... It's not nice, is it?

Mistrigiri your daughter has a truly beautiful voice, and I can't believe she can write like that at 15. I have her other tracks on in the background, just the sort of thing I need to listen to today. She really could make a career of it. I'd buy her album.

Congratulation's to your son too drummer. Does he play in a band or anything? I know he might not be want to be desplayed on his own, but letting us listen to him play on a track with mates couldn't be too bad could it ?

Can't believe that comment and the parent saying nothing Fleur my daughter once expressed surprise to a friend that a friend was not yet on the same (suzki) book as her. I was mortified. He plays beautifully, so I think it was a genuine surprise to her, just tact is not her strong point. But we had a very long chat about how unacceptable that sort of thing is. The English don't really like tall poppies (which can be hard if their not doing it on purpose), but tall boastful ones really are unpleasant. We go to a state primary in a deprived area of London so not too much competitive parenting here thankfully. Other problems with odd ideas about parenting, but not that

My girls sung at a folk night last night with their folk school. 8yr old got terrible hiccups during her solo verse. First one came out with a little burp as well, as air swallowing is one of her ticky habits. She handled it well, carrying on while grin/wincing (is there a word for that) and and sounded nice in between the odd noises. Got hiccups last time she sung solo lines at a concert too, nerves I guess. Next solo lines someone's phone went off, but she is so used to doing practice with chaos around her that she just carried on regardless . Little one (5) sund her first few solo lines too. Belted them out like Shane Macgowan (it was Fairytale of NY) in front of a room of adults. She was high as a kite after. I'm so proud of her, she wouldn't say boo to a goose 18 months ago. Music has been amazing for helping her find confidence.

Just thought I'd lost another Essay as my cat sat on my hand on the mouse (she thinks mouse finger action is her personal chin/bum tickler) thank goodness for 'apple z'

gilly I personally decided I will not discuss my DD's (or DS) abilities and achievements in RL with anybody unless asked. I think it is a very thin line and the reality is that only the family cares and is honestly happy about my kids' achievements. The rest, people enquiring about what grades DS gets at school and what grade music DD is at, I think they do it either to compare silently or open a conversation that is twisted around their DCs being better than yours. And I don't want to engage (anymore).

I think these people are insecure and lack understanding that there is enough space on this planet for everyone.

Except this thread of course, we don't know each other in real life so I feel so comfortable to talk about DD's achievements and genuinely happy to hear about all the other DCs achievements.

drummers yes but the result was the opposite, DD showed it to me saying how unlucky her friend is having to do all that work and how I am The best mum ever for not doing the same

DD also had work to do of course but not the same amount (because I didn't feel there was a need for it).

fleur she sent her a screen shot? That friendship is toxic.

Fleur, I think you have been excellent in not condemning the child for her comments, but it's easy to see they come from the parent.
The woman who was so nasty to dd had a lovely dd who was always apologising for her mum, rolling her eyes and telling her she can't say things like that.
I hope it lasts out for the girl and she doesn't turn out like her mother.
There's no need.
At the time it was water off a ducks back for dd, but it could have seriously damaged a child lacking confidence.
Why do they do it? Is it really that important to them to appear better than others, to look down on them and say sarcastic, cutting comments?

Yes, Fleur, definitely time to back off. It's not healthy. How on earth do people get like that? Maybe she needs the Bond11+ Book of Good Manners.
Gilly what an awful person!!
In other news, Rockschool is now sending me daily emails about the closing date for the Spring exams. We're not doing Spring exams! Go away, Rockschool! (But give us the results of ds1's exam first, obviously!)