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Original poster

Low pass grade 1 piano-daft mother needs help getting a grip and helping dc!

57 replies

BigBirthdayGloom · 08/04/2015 19:13

Dd, year 4, has just done piano grade 1. She's had funny moments preparing and at times declared she wasn't doing it, or piano, any more. She was playing beautifully just before the exam. She said she made mistakes and that, plus being nervous made me feel she'd possibly get a merit. But I was surprised that she got 105, and her teacher said she thought she'd do better too.
My head knows this matters not a jot, that any music exam is an achievement, and that even if turns she isn't an exams girl then all will be well.
A bit of me wishes she could have the extra cherry on the cake of getting a merit or distinction and also fears that a couple of her friends who did grade I last year might be a bit rubbish about it.
And a little bit of me just wishes she was super amazing musical. There-I'm a dreadful mother.
Anything you can share to help me say the right thing to dd and to feel encouraged that she might be okay at this music thing?

OP posts:
DinkyDye · 08/04/2015 19:47

Let your dd enjoy playing. Dont ruin it for her with this rubbish. She passed! Lighten up Smile

Original poster
BigBirthdayGloom · 08/04/2015 19:43

Just checking (nagging bit of me just won't shut up!) - doesn't mean we should lock the piano for good?! Can you be good at playing but not so much at exams? I was the other way round - pulled it out of the bag for exams but a very nervous performer and not great at sight reading and picking things up quickly in ensembles. I know which is better for enjoyment!

OP posts:
IrenetheQuaint · 08/04/2015 19:39

Some examiners are harsher than others. And it really doesn't matter, you know! Developing a knowledge and love of music is the important thing.

Ishouldbeweaving · 08/04/2015 19:36

She's very young yet, she passed and that's something to celebrate. Lots of people (including me) can't play piano AT ALL so she can do something that I can't. I'd celebrate the pass and see if the mark sheet gives any clues as to what happened on the day.

Original poster
BigBirthdayGloom · 08/04/2015 19:35

I don't think I'm pushy, beyond making sure practice happens. She was the one to say she wanted to do the exam a d we changed teachers last year because the one she was with was very very exam and festival focused and rather rigid when it came to moving on from pieces that didn't suit or interest. Most of the 5 or 6 pianists in dd's class who were with that teacher did grade one last year and I didn't want dd to feel pressurised. I am being very honest about how I feel though, and I also know that dd knows about merits and distinctions and would have loved to get one. She's by no means a super high level musician, but she does play musically and so that's why I'm a bit surprised. I remembered struggling through grades 7 and 8 (on different instrument) and being amazed to pass, but that was hardly knowing my scales and being wobbly on pretty much everything. Anyway, I will say, as I did before the exam, that I'm very proud of her, she worked really hard and that she plays nicely. And a good measure of exams being unable to measure how much we or she enjoy her playing, and that the achievement of any exam is the work and progress, not the mark on a paper.
Only question really is, without being silly, if she struggled a little with grade one, might she warm up to the exam process and do better at others? With all the caveats of it not mattering either way.

OP posts:
chocolatemartini · 08/04/2015 19:25

You don't sound pushy to me. Do you have the mark sheet? It might be that she can improve on specific areas ie sight reading or aural, or that she didn't memorise the scales well enough. These things can bring the marks down to a pass even with beautiful playing in the three pieces

NameChange30 · 08/04/2015 19:21

You sound extremely pushy. I feel very sorry for you daughter. How old is she, 8?! The most likely explanation is that she was feeling the pressure, got nervous, and didn't do as well as she could have done. So what?! There is no point her doing music (or anything extra) unless she's enjoying it. She can still learn music, enjoy it and be a good musician without doing any exams. You need to encourage and support her, not put pressure on.

I play the piano and did grades (up to grade 8) and didn't do as well as I could have. I've always been a nervous performer. But the most important thing is that I love playing piano, my parents supported me and didn't pressure me. Who cares what I got in my exams?