Dance lessons - where to draw the line

Just read this as it popped up in active and it's made me so nostalgic and a bit sad, I used to love it when mine were dancing (all grown up now). We didn't do festivals, but everything else. It's worth it for the confidence if nothing else, but also the sheer pleasure of watching them I think.

Sorry, just re-read my post and realised that I used "etc" a lot!

How old are the girls? It may be that they would be happy to drop either tap or modern, and possibly concentrate on solos in festivals rather than groups. That way, you aren't letting other group members down if you can't commit to the rehearsals etc.

Cutting down on ballet classes & exams isn't really an option if they want to continue competing/doing associates/EYB etc as they wouldn't be keeping up technically with others.

At the end of the day it is down to what you as a family can manage, both financially and time-wise, and of course as time goes on they may find that their dancing commitments have to take second place to homework and revision etc.

I agree that it isn't money wasted (very few do go on to have professional careers after all).

I try to think of it as an investment when we're going through a particularly expensive time, and I really believe it is.

Also it slightly annoys me with this attitude that if it's not going to lead anywhere professionally, the 'point' of doing so much is questioned. That's like saying something is only worth doing if there is a financial reward. I doubt my dd is going to dance professionally. But she wants to be the very best she can be and doing festivals and performances etc help her achieve this.

OP, you need to decide how much time and money you can devote to dance. If they really love it keep as many doors open as possible. It could possibly lead to a dance related career, but even if not it won't be wasted IMO.

If you find out, let me know

Dd1 is 14 and dances. Ds1 is 12 and dances. Dd2 is 11 and dances. fortunately dd1 TAs a couple of tap classes, so the school comps one of ds1's classes...

Only one competes though, although we still have the expense of x number of costumes for everyone for the year end show. And only one takes exams.

I am a huge fan. None of them are going to dance professionally (dd2 has cerebral palsy lol, and it's great for her coordination and posture, but she's no dancer) but it instils a fabulous discipline and work ethic.

I'd like to be richer though. Or for it to be cheaper. Only a couple of years until dd1 can drive herself...

To be honest, dd1 would dance anyway. She's been known to tap unconsciously in an elevator wearing wellies, and I catch her trying to tap in flip flops all the time. She couldn't stop if she wanted to. Last year she started pointe though, and I am still boggled. My clumsy three year old that we put in a class to help her balance is a ballerina. Lol.

AllMost days taken up with dance here, too!

Agree about asking how they feel. Do they feel it is too much? If it is becoming too much of a strain financially or in terms of time, then personally perhaps I would drop comp and festivals (though I believe the performance skills experience gained through these is a good thing).

I'm wondering whether you have chatted to your dd's and asked them how they feel about doing so much?

It's your call, you have to balance it with the rest of your lives (adults' and DC's) and it sounds like it's too much.

My parents always said I could do either tap or modern but not both. Plenty of families decide dance festivals or gym competitions are just not right for their families, or too expensive.

I'm still working out where the line is as at the age of 11 dd went off to full time dance school. I have no idea if she will make it, but she's happy, getting the best tuition & she's getting the chance to at least try.

For us actually the line was festivals & competitions. Dd never did those as I felt the money was better spent on classes & summer schools than choreography & costumes. Her previous dance school also didn't charge extra to take part in shows.

We completely lost Christmas one year when dd was in panto.

In fact it's easier now she's at full time vocational school!!!

I completely understand what you are saying. My oldest dd has done ballet most of her life and has recently started tap and modern. She does 3 classes a week at her regular ballet school (4 per week during exam term), plus associates on Saturdays, plus festival rehearsals and the festivals themselves. And English Youth Ballet when that comes up.

I don't think she is going to pursue it professionally but I am happy to pay for it plus take her here and there because I can see enormous benefits in having ballet as a hobby. It's good physical exercise (as you say), in my dd's case it has improved her confidence generally. She puts in a lot of effort and hard work into her dancing which has a knock on effect in other areas of her life. She has a great work ethic and is doing very well at school. She's also made lots of new friends.

Taking part in shows and festivals is time well spent IMO. It gives them something to work towards and to aim for.

It doesn't have to 'go' anywhere. Dd dances for the pure love of it, yes she has hopes and ambitions for her dancing but most of all she has fun and all the experiences she has along the way give her lovely memories.

It sounds like the line has been reached already. Perhaps you could ask them to drop a dance form or to stop doing comp? I won't let mine do comp as it is such a time and money drain and such a commitment. They still get to do classes, exams and shows so they still get to dance and enjoy it. Just not at the expense of absolutely everything else!

I read your post this morning and returned to see if there were any insightful comments. I think this is something that many of us can relate to if you substitute "dance" for music/swimming/football/karate/some other activity. At entry level it's not too demanding and then it develops into something all consuming that is not what you signed up for at the outset.

If you're asking yourself the question of "how much is too much" then I think you've reached the stage of drawing the line. What's the thing that's making you ask yourself the question - is it the money, the time spent in the car, the vanishing weekends? If it's the constant extra lessons that are the problem then can you not say no for a term or two and see what difference it makes?