music practice - do you have to nag?

Ds is 8. He practises as much and as little as he wants to, I have never timed him! Sometimes he goes through all of his book, sometimes he picks one or two songs.

Last night overheard ds's friend who is sleeping over (also aged 8) asking ds to teach him to play the guitar. Was really cute listening to them playing before bedtime

I played piano as a child. Never once was I ever told to practice. I played and had lessons because I loved playing. I couldn't imagine practice ever being a chore.
If I didn't want to practice/play, what would be the point in having lessons?

I played for pleasure, not to pass grades. I do think that gets lost sometimes. I also played music that I enjoyed.

wotoodoo - how old is your ds, and how much does he practise per day?

I have a dd who has real musical ability - maybe even a gift - but practise is tedious, repetitious and often boring for her. She also is interested in other things, and has a rigorous school schedule which demands a significant amount of homework each night. Sometimes it almost feels cruel to insist she practise on top of everything else.

No never. Ds asked to play the violin first aged 3 when somebody came to his preschool and introduced it to the class.

I said I didn't want him to as tbh do not like the noise it makes nor wanted the hassle of nagging him to practice. He asked me regularly after that and I still said no.

When he was 6 his headteacher had a quiet word with me and said I ought to let ds learn to play as he'd been asking to for 3 years and she thought it would be a good thing for him.

Felt a guilty, selfish, neglectful mother of course but told ds he could only have lessons if he practised daily and without me having to ask him to. He agreed. He kept his word.

Wind forward another year and he asked if he could also learn to play the guitar after somebody came to the school and introduced it.

I immediately said yes as practising is as routine as cleaning his teeth for him. Wind forward another year and he plays both instruments in the school orchestra, and plays solo demonstrations for the school.

Coming from a non musical family I feel very proud of him and of course I believe it is best if the passion and interest comes from the child rather than a (pushy)parent.

morethan - my dd loves her lessons. She plays 2 instruments, one she plays with a band. She loves the band. She is a real people person and loves playing WITH teacher/other band members etc.

In one way I would happily let her just have the lessons/band and not worry about practice, but if I did that she would make slow progress and then that would dent her enthusiasm and confidence. It is also not fair on the band if she isn't ready when they perform.

So I nag, and she practises, and she improves and then acknowledges she is glad she practised!

Why do you continue to pay for lessons, exams, music, ticket to concerts etc if they don't practice.
Of course they will say they don't want to give up, but until they realise that practice is necessary to continuing and enjoying music, you will have to nag. If they aren't practising they have given up.
I think you have to ask yourself why they continue with lessons and if you stopped the lessons would they give up. Many children do it for an easy life, to make their parents happy.
I'm sure it's not the case with all you people but some parents live their past experiences or lack of through their children too and as its not coming from the child they become very resentful.

yes I have to nag.
she loves playing and loves the lessons, but practising is boring!

YES!

Same same same ..... I recently said to dd unless she will pass one grade per year from on or I will stop paying for her piano lessons. She can do it as a hobby but I don't want to pay £16 a week anymore. Or she has find something a lot cheaper.

I feel your pain.

My 9 year old wouldn't practise at all without reminders from us. I find it's easier if she's got a performance (orchestra) coming up as she's keen to sound good. Are yours in any kind of ensemble?