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Extra-curricular activities

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Original poster

Piano- Is it time to give up.

37 replies

Viewofthehills · 03/12/2013 22:51

DD2, age 8 is ready to start learning her grade 2 pieces. However we seem to have reached an impasse. I can make her sit on the piano stool, but i can't make her play and so she isn't progressing much at the moment. I am frustrated because she can finally read the music, identify the rhythm and when she plays something properly it sounds good. She got 128 in her grade 1 so is capable of doing well.

She started playing because she wanted to and I have never been draconian about her practicing. (partly because someone else is usually playing the piano, DD1 is preparing for grade 8 and her Dad plays a lot too).
Do I let her give up? Or has anyone got any good suggestions for anything that might help? Or has anyone had a child who they've managed to get through this stage and who has gone on to enjoy it?

Thanks.

OP posts:
WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 04/12/2013 07:34

I was made to have lessons from about age 7 to 14, largely against my will, I was working to Grade 5 by the time I gave up. I have never gone back to playing music again, so it really did no good at all. I had neither any natural ability or interest. If I had had either it would have made a huge difference, so that is the key thing I think. The exam work was just a relentless slog of deadly dull pieces (30 years ago, may have changed), if I could have played cheerful jolly music instead that would have helped too.

Theas18 · 04/12/2013 07:24

If Otoh time it carefully shell get about a 4 eek break over Xmas anyway....at least we have because teacher(and us) are way to busy with everything else!

Sounds like she doesn't really want to give up but have a break from the pressures.

My youngest had moments of"I'll never be as good as them" ie her elder siblings, and If her sis ifs doing grade 8 I bet there is a touch of this..

ThreeBeeOneGee · 04/12/2013 07:21

We have just given notice for DS1 to stop his piano lessons, after five years. We think he has reached the limit of his aptitude, he isn't enjoying it any more, and the lessons and practice are making it difficult to cope with the increased workload involved in starting GCSE courses.

However, in your daughter's case, I would say keep going. Perhaps she is overwhelmed at the idea of having to learn three new pieces? If so, then she could spend ten minutes on new learning, then play some pieces she already knows for fun.

Bribery could be linked to time spent practising; fifteen minutes playing the piano earns you fifteen minutes on the iPad/Moshi Monsters/etc.

claraschu · 04/12/2013 07:13

Is she maybe put off by doing exams? They are completely unnecessary (I thing worse than useless for many children). Maybe she would enjoy learning a few Christmas carols, and being the one to play them as you sing on Christmas eve? Or maybe it would be fun to do something 4 hands with Dad. Maybe she would enjoy preparing for a concert, making a programme and tickets and cookies and inviting the neighbours and Grandma over for a preformance, or maybe she would like to play as people arrive for a school assembly. These are all goals which I think are more fun for a child than taking exams.

She might also be put off by other people being so much better than she is at the piano in your house. If she really likes clarinet, that would give her her own thing to do, which nobody else does.

Good luck. It takes a lot of determination to help a child stick with an instrument. I also think it is worth it, but you have to be clever about making sure it is enough fun enough of the time.

Original poster
Viewofthehills · 04/12/2013 06:58

Your link worked!
Yes, your article's spot on really and describes just why I don't want her to give up. But if holding out GCSE music as a reason is a long shot, then preventing dementia when she gets ancient is definitely a bit far off.

Well, you've inspired me to have one more go. I think the biggest incentive used to be 1 to 1 time with me, which in a busy house, she loved, as the youngest of three.
However, I'm just not that desirable anymore!

So I'll have a think and regroup- thank you!

OP posts:
Katisha · 03/12/2013 23:23

It's tough. There us usually someone who will come along and say oh if she doesn't love it then don't make her do it. But I have a lot of sympathy with this article

musicalresources.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/truth-about-piano-lessons.html

Sorry have never quite worked out how to do links on iPad.

Some of the comments are interesting

Original poster
Viewofthehills · 03/12/2013 23:08

Katisha- Sorry, the idea of the bribe gets her to the piano. Once she's there she would rather not bother with the practice or her reward.
Perhaps my bribes are inadequate.

OP posts:
Original poster
Viewofthehills · 03/12/2013 23:05

She has said she wants to give up for the last 6-8 weeks, but wants to play the clarinet instead. I feel that even a bit of piano is useful at secondary school and especially if she wanted to do GCSE.
( I know that's laughably premature, it's just I have older ones)

Piano teacher is fantastic, if quite particular.

OP posts:
Katisha · 03/12/2013 23:00

Well the bribe has to be dependent on actually doing the practice surely?

curlew · 03/12/2013 22:59

If you ask her, what does she say?

Original poster
Viewofthehills · 03/12/2013 22:58

Bribery works to get her to the piano, but less helpful in actually getting her to do anything Xmas Hmm

OP posts:
Katisha · 03/12/2013 22:53

I found bribery worked pretty well.

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