Will you ban your children from certain sports

If suspect the child on the OP's mind was the exceptional child who preferred his or her music to other activities, then I assume the issue of keeping him or her from sports would not have come up, Pianomama. The child would have naturally chosen music over the other activity.

This is assumption on my part. Maybe it's the child wants to avoid sports and is that exceptional child described by Yehudi Menuhin.

I think since there is the possibility of teasing and even bullying, sadly, when a child seems to be set apart from his or her peers, it behoves the parent to help the child fire on more than one cylinder and develop skills that the others respect more than the music, that would also have the benefit of bringing the child into contact with children more often -- at one point or another, loneliness can become a real problem for children who have never developed the sort of skills that make for a social life, and excellence at a musical instrument can seem a hollow compensation for the simple enjoyment of the give and take that most people take for granted.

.. And what happens if all that effort does not come to the sort of fruition the parent and child hoped for? There is no more cruel word than 'potential'.

I think that it just boils down to -'does he want to play contact sports or not?'. I have skied lots of times without injury, but broke my arm tripping over my doorstep. You can't wrap in cotton wool.

Yes, pianomama (guess the clue is in the name) you do get seriously musical children. I don't have one, but I do have a very clever one who is writing advanced computer code. Breaking his wrist would stop him doing what he loves. However, he is being encouraged to do a huge range of other things precisely to ensure he has a range of choices, and not just one. And any pursuit that leads to "having a tough time with their peers" needs careful monitoring because there are very few jobs (including being an orchestral musician) that don't require some social skills: team work that can come from music AND from other areas including sport. Where I live there are many, very musical children but they all lead normal lives.

What does he want to do? I really hate all the posts that talk of sports being "banned". You might ban smoking but, surely, not PE or touch rugby which is non contact at that age. He is 8 ffs and might turn out, as many do, to be good, but not great. A lifelong love of sport might be lost in the meantime. How do you know he is gifted? He could just be good. I taught ( not Music) one very gifted violinist who was travelling overseas for lessons and got into RA. However, she simply made a decent orchestral player and might have been gutted had she not kept up other interests (and she was 17).

OK, I wasnt talking about withdrawing a child from PE. In our school games and PE are 2 different subjects.
It is about rough team games which involve a lot of phisycal contact and metal studs.

Also, when I say "quite often", it is not generalisation. There are lots of bright all-round social children who naturally enjoy team games and playing instruments - often in an orchestra. However, there is a certain type which is well described by Yehudy Menuhin :

Musically gifted children have an unusual passion for music and the desire to express themselves through music. They will play their instruments for many hours a day and often do not have to be encouraged to do so, as their desire and motivation are so strong. They are often content with their own company and are prepared to sacrifice social activity or what might be considered more ?normal? pursuits in order to spend time making music. This focus can often mark them out as different from the majority of other children. This difference can lead to social isolation and even to becoming the victims of teasing and bullying

I have met quite a few children like that. They are the ones who tend to not only have tough time with their peers but totally ignorant teachers as well. A child can be a serious misician at the age of 8 and this needs to be recognised and respected.

Phew.

DD was withdrawn from PE by the school as they were worried about over training; too much exercise is as bad as not enough & they felt 18 hours a week was plenty

I was a very musical child. I played the piano and was pretty good for my age. Wasn't terribly sporty but broke my wrist aged 10 by slipping off a log in our school playground. Two points to this story- 1: banning a child from sport will not necessarily prevent a child from injury, and 2: I could still play the piano. I was in plaster for 7 weeks IIRC but definitely was able to play perfectly well after a few days.

IMO, banning a child from a sporting activity they may enjoy "just in case" is OTT and actually a bit hysterical.

You can't withdraw a child from PE, even if they're not keen on team sports (and children who are musical don't like team sports? Funnily enough, both of my friends who are professional musicians enjoy playing rounders a lot more than I do!)

It begs the question as to why some children are too special to suffer broken bones, and others aren't?

I can't see how you can withdraw a perfectly healthy child from school PE - I have never heard of it before and I know people who play professionally .

I disagree with your assessment of 'musical' children's tastes, Pianomama. You really can't generalise like that.

It is very easy for parents to get carried away when there is an obvious talent, and that goes for any obvious talent that requires early and often intense practice, even some sports -- not just music.

Examples I can think of include swimming and gymnastics.

Definitely not - I would let the DC choose for themselves what they wanted to do.

I know a boy who comes from a very musical family, and plays with the National Youth Orchestra.

His parents, who both also play in orchestras and are music teachers have always allowed him to play sport, despite the fact that he seems to be very accident prone, and has broken a number of bones while playing sport both during PE and with friends in the playground.

But, when it comes down to it, so long as your child is active enough to be healthy, then it's up to you whether you risk some of the more physical sports.

Re-read the thread again - FallenCaryatid - I dont know what you have been teaching for the past 30 years but I am glad you wont be teaching any DC of mine. There is a big difference between being an abusive parent and a parent supporting a musically gifted child. May be "banning" is an unfortunate choice of words but a caring supportive parent will make choices for their 8 year olds activities .

Just because it is considered to be "normal" for most children to play rough contact sports , a musical child quite often would not enjoy it all. Being piled up underneath a bunch of muddy boys wearing boots with metal studs is not their cup of tea. And not being able to play for 6 weeks can have a devistating effect on an ambitious little musician.

Anyway, I cant help feeling we could do with a special topic for musical mums - for practical advise and exchange of experience of bringing up our "ubnormal" children without being accused of being oppressive and abusive parents.

CURIOUS - I banned rugby for my DS and in fact any contact games.
Luckily, he does not enjoy team games (which is often a case for musicians). So he does swimming and tennis (which he is not allowed if he plays violin shortly after as you cannot hold the bow properly having just played tennis).

I agree that you cannot protect children fully and boys will be boys but I dont think contact games and music mix together very well.

I have problems with ice-skating as he is really keen but an activity asking for sprained wrists.. So he still does it on occations.

It really depends how serious your DC and what music means to them.
We had a broken finger last summer and he used to sob quietly in his pillow at night because it was unberable for him not being able to play.

Honestly no I wouldn't.

I was a reasonably talented musician in my youth and (without wanting to sound boastful) I played to a higher level than average. Not breathtakingly brilliant but enough to secure a place at a Conservatoire. I still took part in lots of netball and hockey outside school because I enjoyed them too. No girls rugby in those days though! :)

I do remember when I was 16 getting a swollen finger which meant I didn't play for weeks and got a right telling off by my teacher but other than that was quite lucky I guess. Ive had more injuries as an adult than a child!

I think actually these things tend to work themselves out iyswim. Hockey was the first activity I chose to drop because it clashed with rehersals and at that time music came first. I played netball for years though but only kept it up at school level (at one time I used to play for a local league too) but again that was my choice.

There comes a point where rehersals and practice take up so much time that there's isn't time to commit to anything else. I was quite happy to do that and made my own mind up. If anything had been banned I think I would have been resentful but my parents just let me get on with it.

It might be interesting to note at 18 I decided a career in music was not what I wanted (having spent years saying it was) and went to uni to do something totally different much to my parents disbelief!

With rugby the children are trained young. I have friends who's kids are playing rugby, and think they're around 7/8 yrs old. They don't just throw them on the pitch, they are trained young.
Mind you, I wouldn't want to be in a scrum. Although dh is partial to a few bruises when he's been jumped on!

I live in Oz, and they have a belief genuine research that participating in sports, actually helps a child do better at school, and them getting better results.
Am putting this to the test with dd1, as she does gym, and swimming, and is fairly bright, although she is only 2y 9m :)

I wouldn't see the point.,

DT2 does the 'risk' sport, (kickboxing) and has never broken anything. He is also a general maniac, having fallen out of a first floor window, and being a keen cyclist.

DT1 does violin, and broke his arm last year falling off a climbing frame.

I am being a bit cautious this year, just for a few weeks - because I don't want another summer holiday marred by plaster cast, but I wouldn't do it in general.

one boy who was a leading light in the school rugby team played for years without incident and then tripped over and broke his leg when posing for the team photo!!

I had a friend who played double bass for a living; he fell off a pushbike & dislocated his thumb which meant he was out of work for like 6 weeks. So he felt he had to give up cycling. He missed the bike terribly, hated giving it up, but didn't feel he could change his work.

Still, who would have thought a little cycle ride was too dangerous? So I think only full-on cotton wool will protect against all risks, but too much cotton wool is a heavy unpleasant risk in itself.

So I like I said from start, I would talk over the options & risks with the child. Make them part of the decision.

Rugby is pretty risky from all standpoints! I'd let DC play if enthused but happy to steer them away if that's easy enough, too.

I don't know if I would ban but I would steer my son in another direction sporting wise. Swimming is a big part of his physical activity and I'm looking at other water sports - canoeing, rowing etc - and he likes cricket and I'm unaware of injuries from that.

Rugby I have banned because he's had a few serious head and ankle injuries and as he's not a huge fan I told school he wasn't doing it.

But I send him to a home ed flexi school now which is set in the woods and they do all sorts: climb trees, light fires, use sharp implements. It's not ideal but he has a few passions in life and they do conflict - music and bear grylls!

DS has a serious athlete in his class who is actually , very excitingly taking part in the Olympics He says this person takes part in PE (when they are actually in school not off somewhere competing!!)

Serena Williams won Wimbledon this year after about 2 years out of action caused by stepping on a bit of broken glass. From which I conclude that: (1) accidents can, and do, happen to anyone at anytime, regardless of precautions; and (2) they aren't necessarily the end of the world, even if they mean a long time out of action.

So no, I wouldn't stop my child from enjoying "normal" sports.