Will you ban your children from certain sports

That's just dumb Colleger. I'm not saying you're lying, but makeup can cover up a black eye perfectly adequately (found this out the hard way when DS accidentally head butted me while bf ).

Katymac do you not worry that your DD lives sleeps and breathes dance to the exclusion of all else. what is going to happen if she has an accident that means she can't ever dance seriously again.

I know plenty of choristers who are not allowed to do contact sports in case they get a black eye and that would not look good for an upcoming concert!

I happen to know a lot of professional musicians and I've never heard of a specifically career-ending injury (whether through sports or anything else). Obviously you could break your neck playing rugby or horse riding but that's not a musician-specific risk.
Does anyone know of any actual cases of "he'll live but he'll never play the piano again" (as per 1940s melodrama)?

That being the case, I think I'd steer clear of contact sports if I were a professional who genuinely couldn't take the risk of being unable to work for a month or two, and I'd ask for dispensation for my child to skip contact sports in the run-up to (say) an audition for entry to a specialist music school that could not be put off or retaken in a month or two, but I wouldn't rule out contact sports otherwise.

They don't depend on me for which sports they play or which activities they do - or they wouldn't have played football and I wouldn't have had to watch it in the cold and rain. DS would have played the piano and not the drums left to me - and none of them would have rockclimbed!

Lol!

:) I am not bitter :)

Colleger - if you post anything on MN about your own DC you will soon find that there are a lot of people who know whats best for your child much better then you do. So it is much easier talking about an abstract generic child :) :) :) .

As I've mellowed over th years (really, I have!) I think only the parent knows their child. Now while some may be slightly abusive (Tiger parents) I doubt giving up football to play the piano is going to damage a child. Sixty years ago my grandfather was down the mines at twelve and had never played rugby, cricket or swam. Yes that's extreme but our kids are very fortunate and have a pretty broad and balanced life.

At 8 DD did dance as a small part of a greater whole, including sailing, brownies/guides, sunday school, swimming, singing, instruments etc

Slowly over the years each has been dropped and replace with something else - over the last 2 years the something else they have been replaced with has been dance.

When she got good grades in school her requested reward? Another dance class. She asks for dance kit for birthdays/Christmas as she knows they are expensive. When her English grade fell, I suggested that she was doing too much dance - the following term it was 2 levels higher

It's hard to manage at 14 if they are that committed never mind 8 - I'm glad DD wasn't committed at 8

exoticfruits - we all manage our children, I am sure you do as well. They depend on us on everything - where they live, what and when they eat, what school they go to and what sports they play.

mathanxiety - it is not necessary a bad thing to have "centrality" in your life. You seem to have a picture of a great big domineering mother witha stick in her hand overshadowing supressed little child playing scales for hours while secretely wishing he was on a rugby field. It is not quite like that.

If a DC is going to grow up to be a talented musician the parent wouldn't be able to keep them away and stop music being central-if it has to be driven and micro managed by the parent then it is more the question of the parent wanting to be the parent of a talented musician with the reflected glory.

pianomama "Anyway, I cant help feeling we could do with a special topic for musical mums - for practical advise and exchange of experience of bringing up our "ubnormal" children without being accused of being oppressive and abusive parents."

For musical mums - your own words :)

CM if your child loves piano above all things and doesn't like team games you don't have to ban anything, as he won't want to do the things you are worried about anyway, surely?

You shouldn't be 'choosing' a sport for a DC anyway. If you want to choose - then choose one for yourself and let your DC 'choose' his own. It is far to much pressure to put on an 8 yr old - maybe they won't want music to be central in a few years and then how do they get out of it? If they are dedicated and want it to be central they will make it so themselves - they don't need mother pushing it! If a child wants to practise for hours a day they do it - they don't have to be managed.

If you are judging a sport by the extent to which it can contribute to your child's musical efforts, then you are really making his life revolve around the music.

It's a child, not primarily a 'pianist'. Choosing a sport for him based on what might be best as an adjunct to the music seems like micromanagement of his life and putting the music at the centre. This gives the lie to the idea that the interest in music and the aversion to sports comes from the child. There is clearly a lot of pressure, to say the least, to accept the centrality of music and fit the rest of life around it.

'it is surprising how familiar it sounds when you bring this subject with other "musical mums" - often musical kids seem to have so much in common.'
I think a lot of musical kids have mums who have a lot in common.

Swimming has got to be the best exercise for wind players! Lol!

CURIOUSMIND - this just proves my point. I do know quite a lot of children like that. In fact it is surprising how familiar it sounds when you bring this subject with other "musical mums" - often musical kids seem to have so much in common.

Menuhin recognised it and described well. That was the idea behind his school, mainly because he was not only a great musician himself, but an inspirational teacher who knew very well about the challenges many musically gifted children face while growing up.

Most contact sports are not allowed in his school btw.

Still, plenty of other activities available if you have spare time.
We combine bike riding with walking the dog. Swimming and jogging is great for musicians as it builds up the stamina - much needed by the time they paying concertos .

Don't worry CM, us music freaks know what you mean!

Maths wasn't trying to force anyone to be like anyone else - simply suggesting that a range of options might make friendships easier. And you do "interfere" if YOU (and not a the child) put music before everything else. That is really cruel long term because, as Maths says, and others have said, all that effort in music may come to nothing. Surely, the music can only trump everything if that is what he wants and, even then, at 8 zi would still be, as an adult, trumping to bring up a child with a more balanced and varied life. Yes, there are musical (and sporting) prodigies. But are they happy, well rounded people?

mathanxiety - what you suggest is cruel in its own right - forcefully make him to be like the rest.. it might seems a "hollow" compensations for you - for him its his mind, his emotions his everything really. Why would I interfere? It's like forcing a left-handed chid to write with his right hand..

That is a different question altogether. My own DS is very musical, he does hate team games and noisy environment. He gets on with other children at school and is not considered "weird" , but his personality is respected. Just because he doesnt play rugby , his world is not narrowed down to only music - he is interested and is doing well in all academic subjects. I dont know if he will become a concert pianist or not - all I can do is give him a chance to try, but I do know for sure that he will never be "one of the lads" - just like his dad.
Potential is one thing, working towards it comes from the child.

He works very hard and values his achievements. He loves swimming,cycling,tennis etc. Put him on a football field and he feels lost, totally out of place and not very happy.