Will you ban your children from certain sports

I wouldn't be surprised - one of our local schools has their high achieving group doing 17 GSCE equivalents each (of which 10 are actual GCSEs).

If they are doing it for league table purposes they are making a big mistake- it's As to Cs they need, not loads of Ds!

It sounds as if they need her for the purposes of the league tables KatyMac.

Surely they can't force someone to do the classes and sit the exams? Do you as a parent have no rights whatsoever? What about the LEA - can you go over the school's head?

Obviouly if you have a huge commitment to music, e.g my friend's DC was travelling 60 miles to London once a week, for a lesson, and playing in youth orchestras etc so there was no time to do anything else at a serious level but he managed normal PE lessons, kicking a ball around with friends etc. If you do anything at a serious level, thinking of DCs who kayak, are in the National Youth theatre, play hockey for the county etc it takes an enormous amount of time - they have to want to do it. I can't see why a parent needs to ban anything - the DC should work out what they want to do and which comes first. Some schools are very supportive but I can't see one excusing a child from physical activities as a regular thing.

Speaking from another perspective my dd who is now 9 competes nationally in taekwon-do a contact martial art. She still does pe at school even though an injury in pe would put her out of training and competing. Only once have we not allowed her to take part in pe and that was actually her teacher who banned it and not us. That was the day before the uk championships and they had school sports week leading up to it.

On the Friday they had a judo tastter lesson and her teacher felt it was to risky to dd the day before teh comeptetion. DD was most upset. infact her coach encourages kids to do other things aswell.

Well I am lying actually it's 12 GCSEs and 2 Btechs; I have pleaded for it to be dropped to 8 GCSEs & the 2 Btechs but no

She has offered to spend the timetabled 'spare' time in the special needs unit doing coursework as she knows she can't be 'unsupervised' but no

She would have: maths, 2 Eng, 2 Science, Music, Geog, Spanish & Btech Science & Dance if she did it my way

I can't see the advantage to adding RE, another science, plus 2 more options

I could understand it if I were asking for her to do 3 or 4; but I still want her to do 8

And actually, it wasn't a bloody typo- I was right!

I was a child who was told repeatedly that I should not be riding ponies, it would be no good for my violin-playing. One day, when I was about 12, I went for my violin lesson to be told by my teacher that I had to choose between horse-riding and violin lessons. She would not teach me any more if I would not commit to stopping riding. She was very blunt about it. I handed her back the violin there and then, and have never picked one up since. My teacher was gobsmacked, she could not conceive of a child who could possibly prefer ponies to violins and had issued an ultimatum with the firm belief that I would choose the violin. She made several attempts to persuade me back to violin lessons by saying we could come to an agreement, but my faith in her had been utterly shaken and I did not believe she meant it, and that she would be back to telling me to stop riding again before long.

I do regret now not seeking another teacher, but I was 12, and a fairly 'young' 12 at that. I had played in the local junior youth orchestra, and the pressure was placed on me because at 13 I would have been eligible to apply to join the City Youth Orchestra. I enjoyed playing in an orchestra. My husband is an entirely self-taught musician, has never had a lesson in his life. He plays in a moderately successful band with his mates, and I'm a bit sad as an adult that I don't have that ability any more, because when I was a child an adult made me take a certain path.

If I were the OP, I would not be making my child do or not do anything. I would be enabling them to make the choices they want to make. If they love their music and really hate team sports, help them give up the team sport. But to make a child give up one thing in order to safeguard something an adult places a lot of value on may not win the child over in the long run.

I would love to go back to that teacher and tell her what a mistake she was making, forcing me to choose. I still ride and have horses now, having competed at a high level before I had children. I'd love to be able to pick up a violin on an evening, and join in the music sessions my husband's band have in our garden, but the combination of a stubborn child and a stubborn teacher means I have lost out, and would have lost out whichever way I had chosen.

So much easier to address typos than actual arguments.......

Point taken merrymouse - no more dotting.

(I remember more people had glandular fever - I don't have access to glandular fever statistics v. broken arms in the general population).

I can't imagine the situation where a child would be devastated by not being able to play a musical instrument for 6 weeks, but also have the time to take part in a sport at such a level that the nature in which that sport is played would make it likely that they would have a serious injury.

In situations where playing a particular sport might be a problem (your child goes to White Lodge, your child is a chorister, your child is an Olympic gymnast, your child is going to appear on Young Musician of the Year), I imagine there will be a coach/music teacher available to force the choice with little parental intervention.

I can't think that sport/life was safer back in the 80's when I was at school, but I can remember very few children breaking arms/wrists/fingers etc anyway, and I can't remember anybody doing this on a sports field. (I remember more people have glandular fever than breaking arms).

pianomama, to me it sounds as though no doting was necessary on your part. Your son is perfectly capable of deciding what he wants to do by himself.

To be honest, I think that "should I ban my musical child from contact sports?" can be crossed off the long, long list of "things a parent has to worry about".

Ds stopped rugby in year 9, mainly because he didn't want to do it and didn't have time for all the matches with his other commitments either, but I seem to remember I did use music as an excuse (he sprained a finger in a match a couple of weeks before his grade 7 cello exam which was the final straw). He then did sailing instead which he far preferred but was probably only slightly less risky.

I admit I haven't read every post, and any knowledge of rugby and gifted child musicians stems from my own childhood which was quite a while ago, but...

From what I remember, 8 year olds don't play contact sports. I can imagine that a beginner skateboarder or roller skater might break a wrist, but I think more children break bones on a trampoline.

I could be completely wrong, but I think children are more likely to have a sporting injury when they are really good at a sport and are taking part in it seriously (age 12+) than when they are just dabbling at the beginning (assuming correct supervision and safety precautions).

I would imagine that by the time you are 12 it would be obvious that you are a brilliant musician (i.e. regularly going on tour with your youth orchestra in the holidays, lessons several times a week, many performances) and you would be precluded from competing in a sport at a high level because of time constraints. AFAIK sport for 8 year olds tends to be quite supervised and safe. I agree that rugby can be very, very dangerous, but is it dangerous for children just taking part in a routine school sports lesson?

14GCSEs seems OTT for anyone. I can't understand why you need that many.

I've been amazed by your dd's school's intransigence before, Katy. My dd's grammar school only lets them do 10 GCSEs except in very exceptional circumstances.

14 GCSEs? Is that in any way normal? I stopped teaching about 6 years ago, but then 9 was normal, the odd child did an extra one and some did less... You'd think they could let a child drop to the usual 9 or 10, who needs 14 GCSEs, even if you want to go to Oxbridge 9 As and then A A levels are what they want, not 14 grade C GCSEs... What an odd policy on the part of the school Katy !

Maryz I have written to DD's school to ask if she can drop 4 GCSEs as I don't think she can manage 14 GCSEs at the same time as preparing for audition to Performing Arts school. They have, of course, said 'no' (which to be honest I expected - but when she scrapes passes instead of doing well, I will at least know I tried). But they are being proactive about her PE lessons and letting her study during that time.

HE is an option DD & I have decided against after much thought.

Luckily it is not remotely true, seeker. I know an 8 yr old who has a musical scholarship and he is quite down to earth and plays a full part in school life- as do they all.

Oh and pianomama, of course it's sad if your child can't play his instrument for a while! Who said it wasn't?

I just find the characterisation of musicians as very sad. And by extension the characterisation of children who love sport.

I really should keep away from this thread but it leaves me rather open mouthed!
How old is this child?
Having seen a lot of friends children through from babies to adults, several of them were very musical and 4 are professional musicians, none were precious about it - the one I mentioned was only trying to get out of housework as children do- they took a full part in school life and they had many interests. I think that even children on musical scholarships are expected to play sport.
If they are keen musicians they will choose instruments over football - so I can't see why anything needs to be banned by mother!
It also seems a very odd punishment to take away an instrument. I'm sure that the amount of control going on here is going to be counter productive- unless the DC is really dedicated- it will put them off completely.

seeker - dotting mothers are annoying, arent't they? Especially when they dot on their own children.
I know it is not a big deal for you if my child is upset because he can't play. But it is for me. I am sure it would be for OP. Live and let live.