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Will you ban your children from certain sports

161 replies

CURIOUSMIND · 20/07/2012 22:19

when they are playing instruments seriously?
I can see the reason is obvious.But when they are still young, deserve to do something else as well, will you ban them?
What do you do to avoid the risk?How about school PE?

OP posts:
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purplepansy · 29/07/2012 19:46

I stopped my eldest from riding her bike just before a violin exam. Only because she is incredibly clumsy and didn't want her to waste weeks and weeks of work by falling and breaking her wrist. Usually though, no. Sport is good.

carycach · 26/07/2012 10:43

seeker 'So much easier to address typos than actual arguments.......'

one of the most apt things i'v read on Mn in a long time.I'm going to remember that gem!!

carycach · 26/07/2012 10:42

Why would any decent school encoiurage students to do so many GCSEs??
Why would anyone need more than 10 solid GCSES? Quality over quantity.I can't see anyone turning a way a student with 10 A*s

seeker · 26/07/2012 07:45

Pianomama- you're obviously not interested in any sort of sensible discussion. That's fine. But maybe just try to be a little less closed minded? Sport and the "finer things of life" can, and do, coexist.

gelatinous · 25/07/2012 23:29

It's not always as black and white as that though. When ds did rugby he was required to do a lunchtime and after school extra practice as well as in games lessons all of which clashed with other things he wanted to do. What's more there were other boys who actually wanted to be on the team who weren't and it wasn't even as if ds was an especially brilliant player - just not quite bad enough to be dropped from the team (which he'd already been a reluctant member of for over 2 years). It was still expected he would play though and without parental intervention he would have had to. The school was fine about it once I explained, but hadn't listened to him. I have no regrets at all about bunking him off. He was a changed child afterwards - I'd not realised just how much it stressed him and he contributed to school life through the sailing team (as well as musically) instead.

pianomama · 25/07/2012 23:16

Why are you picking on my DS? Tell Fred he should practice instead.

seeker · 25/07/2012 23:14

No. "
You will join in with the life of the community you are part of. And that sometimes means doing things you don't necessarily enjoy. You may not enjoy sport- Fred may not enjoy music practice. But that's no reason for the two of you nof to do it . Because we are aiming for robust well rounded people:"

pianomama · 25/07/2012 23:01

"You will have fun playing rugby whether you like it or not! Or else!"

seeker · 25/07/2012 22:43

Obody has deliberately twisted anything or attacked anyone. Many of us have musical children. But manynifnus think it's very important to maintain balanc in our children's lives, and make sure they fully participate in the life of their school, and not feel separate or different Which is the the big risk if children of this age are made "special cases".

And it seems to me that if a child doesn't want to play games, or get muddy or engage in a bit of rough and tumble, it's the parent's job to encourage him or her to join in, rather than finding reasons not to.

exoticfruits · 25/07/2012 22:11

The real problem is that you can have an accident doing the simplest, everyday things.

CURIOUSMIND · 25/07/2012 22:10

I have no time or interest to--to corrent above.

You know, my literacy in never good.

OP posts:
CURIOUSMIND · 25/07/2012 22:07

I agree with you Schilke.The wording 'ban' may confuse many people.
----
It's not like he wants to do it that much and I am thinking about don't let him.There is absolutely no any argument about his choice or my choice.I followed my children's choice all the time.
The tiny problem for me is just not playing at all or still play a bit.I witnessed the bad accident when we just 'played a bit', which is the direct reason for me to ask the question. Certainly the problem is too small to bang about.

If wording is the reason confused people than I apologize.My literacy is never good.

But, I have to time or interest to take anything deliberaly twist OP to start an fight against musical children then parents.You wasted your time. I don't play at all.

Kind suggestions, honest opinions received with many thanks as always.

OP posts:
pigsinmud · 25/07/2012 21:55

The problem is you could have an accident doing anything. Dh ( trumpet player) got head butted in the mouth by dc numerous times when they were little.... He just had to play with bruised & arnica creamed up lips.

We are talking about children. They should have fun.

motherinferior · 25/07/2012 21:50

I suppose if DD2 gets really, really, really good at the trumpet or sax - much better than I was (and I was pretty good), national or international standard, maybe I'd think twice about her taking up boxing...

Southwest · 25/07/2012 21:43

I thought this was a general thread

I'm really really unkeen for any dcs to play rugby
But they are at very early stages in learning to play instruments

pigsinmud · 25/07/2012 21:42

I think it's the wording - ban. It implies child wants to do it and they are not being allowed to. I do not think a child should be stopped from doing any sport if they want to do it or a non-sporty child use music as an excuse to get out of pe.

Musicians are quite good at playing rough like anyone else - I have said before, a leg was broken in a football match RCM vs academy - they are not all delicate flowers.

KatyMac · 25/07/2012 21:30

The 2 Btech are gone - either she passed or she didn't (Dance & Science)

I have bargained it down to Maths, 2xEng, Spanish, Geog, Music, 2 Science plus 2 options (I leaning towards DD choosing 2 Btech for those - maybe Business & Drama) - so we dumped a science & RE

But it's still ridiculous for an 'average' student with "other interests"

gelatinous · 25/07/2012 21:18

KatyM, There's a document here that shows a tiny, tiny percentage of children take 12+ GCSEs (that's not counting equivalents) - less than 1%. I think your dd's school is doing the children no favours at all, and as for taking separate science GCSEs and Science BTEC - there's just no point other than to load up the children with unnecessary extra work (and not just your dd with all the dance, but it's not a good idea for the others with more usual EC activity levels either). I'd take it up with the governors if I were you.

KatyMac · 25/07/2012 20:30

Seeker "it's As to Cs they need, not loads of Ds!" - tell me about it; it completely defeats me

seeker · 25/07/2012 20:27

And I think someone said somewhere on this thread something like "musical children don't like rough team games"

That certainly isn't my experience!

mathanxiety · 25/07/2012 20:24

'What is this big deal about rugby and football anyway?'

I do feel that there is manipulation of opinion involved here. You make it clear that you personally do not care for these games and I think you would not even if music wasn't involved.

'We travel much further then your friends DC for lessons, sometimes twice a week - thats just for the first instrument's sake.Add another instrument, orchestras, choir and theory lessons plus extended academic curriculum at school, performances and competitions - there is no time or need for rugby. This is what I have in mind when we say DC doing music seriously.'

'We' is the key there. You have invested a lot of your own time and identity here. You described yourself as a musical mum earlier. I see an element of setting you and your child apart, even expressed in the hankering after a Musical Mums section on MN.

seeker · 25/07/2012 20:15

Why?

pianomama · 25/07/2012 20:11

Give up ..

seeker · 25/07/2012 20:08

As I said- an adult professional earning their living by their music is very different to a prep school child. 6 weeks without playing could cause a professional to lose their house. 6 weeks within playing would upset a musical 11 year old but wouldn't cause any lasting damage. Being treated as a delicate flower too fragile to take part fully in the life of the school, however, could.

pianomama · 25/07/2012 20:00

Nobody was suggesting excluding PE or restricting school activity in anyway -we were originally talking about contact sports which are optional.

What I was trying to say to OP that rough team games do not go well with serious music.

If you are going to tell me that your very good friend/DH, whatever, likes nothing better then a good rugby match before performing Rachmaninov concerto on stage - I simply can not take it seriously.

In my case and OP's case , the DC do not really enjoy it anyway.
So, no child manipulation to satisfy parental ambitions in this case as has been suggested several times on this thread.

exoticfruit - We travel much further then your friends DC for lessons, sometimes twice a week - thats just for the first instrument's sake.Add another instrument, orchestras, choir and theory lessons plus extended academic curriculum at school, performances and competitions - there is no time or need for rugby. This is what I have in mind when we say DC doing music seriously.

And yes, DS's school fully supports him even though team sports and rugby is a big deal for them being a boys prep school. They just have a luxury to be able to treat children as individual and respect their specific needs. (Sounds like school's prospectus now :))

What is this big deal about rugby and football anyway? Would there be so much reaction is someone asked if they should stop music lessons? probably not.. :)

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