piano meltdown (mine not his) advice needed from musical mums

I agree with those who say change teacher.
I had the daft idea that I would learn piano at the same time as my DD. 15 years later she's abroad right now with an orchestra and I still can't play a note!

I was very involved with her musical education but when it all comes down to it a professional is best. A non-musical parents' role is to encourage and to find the suitable teacher.

I also discovered the hard way that private lessons are infinitely better value for money than school-based ones.

I'm a music teacher too and absolutely agree - change teacher! I start pupils from year 2 and work on the basis that the parents are not musical - if they are it should be a bonus not a requirement. Playing an instrusment should be about developing a love of music and all children learn at different rates but this teacher sounds as though she's actually holding back the progress rather than helping and encouraging it. No more than 30 minutes a week is needed until grade 6, 7, 8 and even then I know of plenty of students (myself included) who got to grade 8 on 30minutes a week. There are some good music teacher websites so hunt about and if you can get someone on recommendation even better. Expect them to have at least grade 8, if not a diploma or degree. Good luck!

PS Absolutely agree with Zzzen - all children are different and there is no point comparing them in any way. I guess what I meant to say that 30 mins x 2 week could work really well for OP child providing the teacher knows what she is doing.

ReallyTired - yes it does cost a bomb .. Really don't want to talk about grades much but he is very advanced at the age of 10. He practices every single day including weekends around 1.5 hours. He does it very effectively now as he has been taught to listen and self-appraise. But from experience I know how importand and hard it is to the parent to get the practice right - little by little you need to give them skills to do it themselves effectively.I am lucky enough now not to interfere , just to listen and enjoy lovely music he plays :) So there is a reward for really tired mums in the end ..

sometimes is best to slow down the exam preparation - if dd's not ready - leave it for now

my daughter played piano till she was 8 and we stopped just as she was going to sit grade 2, at the same time she got involved with playing tuned percussion instuments and knowledge of music helped her to progress quite quickly
now she is preparing for grade 6 in her pecrussion instruments and grade 4 piano (she got back to piano last year after over 4 years break) & singing great 7

all are done because she likes it - I don't get involved apart from paying fees & driving her :)

I would change teachers immediately, and yhis one is clearly ineffective if not teaching.
Half an hours lesson is fine. My dd has 30 min on each instrument and practices between 30 min and 1 hour a day, on each, depending on how much time she has. It is their practice however, and parents really should only be slightly involved. I find far more progress is made this way.

With ReallyTired on this.

pianomama, paying for 60 minutes a week must have cost a bomb. What level is your son. How much music practice does he do a day.

I make my son do the same number of hours a week practice that it would take someone on a minimum wage job to pay for the lessons.

My son has a notebook which his teacher writes what he needs to practice. We work to targets. I also think a little bit of practice each day is better than a marathon session.

I feel the parent's role in music is a bit like when your child learns to read.

I've just reread the OP and I see that where below I suggested you step back from his practice for a bit and leave him and the teacher to find their happy medium, you have actually stepped back due to time constraints and the resulting lack of progress led the teacher to suggest 2 sessions a week.

Maybe you could tell her you had been helping him a bit previously but can no longer do this which is why he is perhaps progressing more slowly atm and tell her which things you have noticed he has struggled with. THe teacher is probably just a bit confused at the slow-down in progress.

Sorry, I didn't read your OP more carefully.

dc will have differing ability, interest, ambition, tenacity, will to progress etc so different types and lengths of lesson will be appropriate for different dc to some extent.

I would assume the teacher is teaching this dc to play the new pieces but he is forgetting a lot of what she has said and maybe there are some areas he needs help with generally. As you said, OP with rhythm perhaps. Once that is sorted, he will be able to apply that confidence to new pieces. I am sure he is fine really, we all perform better on some days than others and at different times of the day. Try not to get frustrated with him. I am sure he is still quite young and really I take my hat off to all these little kids who work so hard to learn and practise their instruments. It takes a lot of concentration and self discipline and they all do well if they like the instrument and they manage to stick at it IMO.

As far as counting is concerned, has he been doing any music theory workbooks? Something like that might help him a bit if it is light-handed.

I dont know. My DS had 60 mins lessons since he was quite small.

When he has performances, competitions or exams he will have 2 x 60 mins a week.

It depends how much is your teacher prepared to teach you. He always has 4-5 pieces on the go, plus a study or 2. There is just not enough time to cover everything.

Having 2 thirty minute lessons a week is silly. my son has one 20 minute lesson of guitar a week and that seems more than enough.

I think that having a sixth form music student help with practice might be more useful.

I know a little girl who is 8 who has 2 x 30 minute lessons per week on the violin at her teacher's recommendation and she seems to be making excellent progress, so it is not all that unusual I think.

I wondered if he needs you really to work out the counting for him and so on. Maybe he was annoyed because he could have figured it out for himself? ALso what could be happening is if you are helping him a lot at home, the teacher has a skewed idea of how quickly he understands what she demonstrates/explains and makes sense of what they do in the lesson. She is probably assuming that he is managing fine on his own with the way she teaches at present, since he comes back every week having managed things IYSWIM. Although I think it is great that you are involved, I wonder if you would consider stepping back for a month and seeing what happens. I would also tell the teacher where he has being having difficulties.

What I personally find good although understandably this does not always go down well with dc is to practise when you come home from the lesson or after school the day of the lesson so that what has been covered is still fresh enough and can be cemented. A day or two later, most of it may be forgotten.

Please dont have a meltdown. All music mums been through it.

I think an ideal situation is when the teacher writes out a detailed plan for DC weekly practice. - i.e. - these bars, hands together/separately/certain speed etc.

Non musical parents should try not to get involved - don't be offended but if you are an amature, you will make mistakes yourself and confuse your DC even further. If DC strggles to figure out a particular bit I would suggest to leave it till next lesson and ask the teacher. Write down the exact questions your DC migh have so they dont forget to ask.

You could help by discussing in advance what DC is going to practise and how.

Ask them whether they saw any problems with something they just played and get them to analyse it themselves.

Something our teacher taught me - never ever interrupt during the play - wait till they finish and check if they noticed the problem themselves.

The more DC get to appraise themselves, the more effective their practise becomes.

And please be very careful of youtube videos - they are not a reliable source at all :).

how long is his current lesson?

You definitely shouldn't be teaching him - that's her job. DS is learning the guitar - I'm generally musical but no good with a guitar. I can help when he practises but not teach him - that's what his teacher does.

If you son fails a grade because of poor teaching then it will put him off music.
You should not be doing the job of the teacher.

My child just sat Grade 1 violin, and as I know nothing about the violin, except the sound coming out of it, there was no way I could teach dd anything. The teacher should be doing the teaching!
Dd has been learning piano recently too, and has already started some Grade 1 pieces. I can do Grade 2 level piano. But I've never never showed her how to play the pieces or sounded them out to her, except for fun. The piano teacher does that. She has twenty mins a week.
Change Teacher! After all your child doesn't know any different than that teacher, so why would he know what a good teacher is? In the meantime it is brilliant that he hasn't been put off, but you and he tusselling might well put him off, if she doesn't.

I totally agree with twolittlemonkeys.

I'm a music teacher and agree that she should be teaching him the new material, not leaving that up to you to work out. Practice is often more effective with parents supervising/ listening out for obvious mistakes as some children do tend to just hurry their practice rather than working on the bits they find difficult.

Also there is no way that a child at Grade 2 level needs 2 lessons a week. 1 lesson and effective practice sessions at home should be ample.

One of those times when it has to be "mother knows best" I'm afraid.

Daughter remained loyal to gymnastics coach /club for four years between the ages of 7 and 11. Now at 15 she regrets those standstill years and says I should have dragged her away...

She sounds a dreadful teacher tbh (lovely person though!) - I can't think of anything more depressing than a child learning an instrument for four years and still not be ready for grade 1 - what a waste of four years