Committed children (for want of a better description)

No Lougle, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be on here this morning. I am waiting for the man to fix my washing machine and have had no sleep for about three night and I am having a shitty time just now.
I know you have even here ages too, I know you Lougle.
Honestly. I was being a massive arse. Just having a really bad couple of weeks. I do apologise.
I shall go and sit in the garden until I am fit to be around people again. Sorry lougle.

I have a very dedicated rower here, training 7 times a week, the impact on the rest of the family is not always ideal,, and I have thought I can't keep going with it. It affects every day of the week most weeks and we have a younger child. It's my daughter, like your Katy she is 14

No, Pag. Sorry...don't you just hate the way a forum can't carry expression?

I don't mean 'nuts' as in 'you're nuts'. I mean 'nuts' as in...it makes me realise that some children have such a different life than others.

I mean, before I came to MN I used to think that the difference between 'privileged' and 'underprivileged' children was whether they had food in their tummies and clothes on their back with some love thrown in.

I knew that super rich royal types had their holidays, horses, blah blah blah. But I didn't appreciate how many opportunities some children have on such a regular basis.

I don't criticise you, at all! I'm just in awe that children of such a young age can do so much.

I do feel inadequate.

And I know you have a child with SN, really. I've been here 7 years. I wasn't being critical

Sorry again

I am just at the start of this road with dd1 and gymnastics. She has just turned 7 and currently does 4 1/2 hours per week plus occasional competitions. She loves it and is very keen to go. It worries me though that next year she is expected to go up to 4 sessions per week which equates to, I think, about 10 hours per week, after school and Saturdays. The evening sessions don't finish til 8.15pm and at the moment she's in bed at 7pm!

I don't feel that we can be committed enough as a family, as too many other things would have to be missed, however on the other hand I don't want to stop her from doing something she loves and seems to have a talent for. Aargh! Any tips gratefully received!

Yep, I'm another one who has a 'committed child' and I really struggle with it.

My Dd1 (8) does 12 hours of gym a week - that's 3 hours of training four days a week. Dd2 is 5 and has also just been picked for the same route - although at the moment she's only training for an hour twice a week. With both girls their hours will increase.

I really struggle to see the point. Neither girl will ever be a professional gymnast. My eldest is training to take her national grades (one of a handful out of a gym of several hundred girls) but she's a big fish in a small pond - I see that at other clubs there are girls a lot better than her, and there's another layer of competing above my Dd. So I always wonder what the point is....

But they love it. I worry that they're sacrificing their childhood for nothing, but what can I do? So I support and say nothing. I agree with the previous poster who says it is so hard. When they're this committed, it's usually because they've got a degree of talent, but it's do hard making these decisions without other mums making you feel like the ultimate pushy parent.

Sigh.

That's Katymac, this thread is very cathartic

[sigh] and no, you are not inadequate. I am sure your dc are happy.

If I didn't find constructive outlets for DD she would spend the whole evening doing handstands or working out dance routines in her bedroom or the sitting room. She is a fucking nightmare to be honest. At least this way she is not doing anything dangerous and I don't have to watch her endless productions.

This subject will just attract criticism. Like real life.

Nuts?
Lougle, I have a child with profound special needs myself.
I do my best for all my children. Just because my DD is peculiarly focussed and energetic does not make supporting her 'nuts'. I supported my DS1 who wanted to to play rugby, do his homework and gang out with his friends. And I support DS2 who has entirely different needs.

I can afford it. What's the problem?

Nuts!!

Wow. Seriously nuts!

I'm in awe, really. Doesn't that all cost a fortune?? I just can't imagine being able to afford to give my children those opportunities.

I have 6 year old DD who goes to Special School, but has been determined that she'll be a farmer when she's older. I don't think she'll be co-ordinated or strong enough, tbh, but we're moving house and it has a big garden, so we'll get chickens and a veg patch.

I have 4 year old DD2 who can whistle and loves to sing.

And almost 3 year old DD3 who pulls loads of funny faces and is hillarious.

we have 4 world class downhill ski resorts within half an hour, too.

weirdly, there are some really cool dance workshops held here too. i've managed to convince ds that he had to give up ice hockey.

ah, unis, tell him the canadian rockies are much cooler. he needs to live here

i didn't list the other stuff. just the main ones.

Hi UniS. I have another 7 yr old fanatic. bmx and road.
racing since he was 4.
we may meet one day.

We have ballet, tap, modern, drama, singing and jazz. Piano, drama club and school choir at school and about to start rehearsals for a touring show.

I made her give up after school hockey. She would like to add contemporary but it clashes with ds's swimming.

Am currently debating whether to let her audition for a specialist school but despite being very commited she doesn't want to perform as a career, possibly becasue dh works in the performing arts industry so she knows what it is llike.

Music with us, all 3 DC. They all learn at least 2 instruments and between them play in 11 bands and sing in 2 choirs. Between them they also manage Explorer Scouts, Scouts and Cubs, Taekwondo, ballet, cheerleading, swimming, chess, netball, football, D of E, drama, gymnastics.

After school is a huge jigsaw puzzle of lifts.

DS2 wants to audition for the cathedral choir but I am delaying this until after the summer.

Yes Katy I am taking that approach but have to give half a terms notice or be charged which means it's not really immediate, more's the pity. I am refusing to9 sign her up for a musical theatre workshop until her maths enrichmentis done though (evil mother I am apparently).

Ds is ten years old so we don't have to worry about academic work yet. Its just tireness.

His guitar playing started out as a 30 minute group lesson through school. He got fed up with the other in his group so we opted for 20 mintues individual lesson. He is supplementing his lessons with youtube, has taken up ukelede wants to go to rock school ten miles away, a guitar esemble, chuch choir and a county choir. The church choir is a big commitment because there is a practice on Friday, weddings on saturday and often two services on Sunday. The number of services over easter is quite heavy as well.

He also does chess club, karate twice a week and his school wants him to attend a maths club.

We really need to review his hobbies as it is out of control.

Road- closed circuit races only- He has done a cyclo cross training day and a MTB coaching session which he enjoyed and kept up OK on despite being youngest one there.
But given the bike he has ( and I have) and his age, road suits best at present. The two cycle clubs in our county with junior coaching sessions are both 25+ miles away from home. The most local won't work with under 12s.

When DS grows up he wants to - be a bike racer and a builder and live in the French mountains, race his bike and build houses in summer and ski all winter!

I have a 12 year old dancer - ballet+pointe, tap, modern, jazz, musical theatre. She does festivals (song and dance and lyrical solos) and is absolutely set on a career in it. Problem is she is starting to let the schoolwork slip and it is causing friction between us as she is academically very able and I am not willing to let her throw that away when the competition for dance colleges is so fierce.

Road racing, or mountain, uni?
We have fab mountain bike facilities here - a trail centre which is used for x country ski in the winter, and bikes in the summer. There are bike and racing clubs and clinics everywhere you look.

Soundproof the garage, really tired .

We're contemplating it as we're about to have a tap floor put into ours....

DS races on his bike, under 8s - has done since he was 5, he is now 6.

DS is keen once he's out on a training ride, and adores racing, but Boy is he grumpy when I say we can't go to the park after school because he needs to do 30 mins training first. Once we get 5 mins into the ride he is fine, happy as a larry and really rather fast.

Other than regular rides with me or DH at the moment his only time commitment to this sport beyond travelling to races is a fortnightly coaching session, 25 miles away. In winter we go regularly as its on a Saturday, but in summer it switches to a school night, to which I won't take him. YET, when he's a little older and has a later bedtime, maybe.

Other training ( that he doesn't see as training ) is a weekly swimming class and a dance class. both good cross training AND fun. Thus far he has done well in races by luck and a desire to ride fast. I'm aware that as he gets older it will get more competitive.

My son plays classical guitar. He also sings in a local church choir and a county choir and does quite a few music activites that he wants lifts to. Ie. He wants to join a guitar ensemble, he wants to do a rock school.

He has been doing guitar for a year and it seems to be taking a life on of its own. My fear is that he wants to take up the drums.