Committed children (for want of a better description)

My son is committed to computer games!

I will not coach high level gymnastics any more because I have seen too many girls and their families who have been damaged by it.
Firstly gymnastics places a young body under enormous stress and joint problems are the norm in ex gymnasts , i had problems in pregnancy and childbirth as a result of my gymnastics as a child.
Secondly it is just SO competitive.You have to work SO hard all the time just to keep your toe hold.Conditioning isn't fun you have to expect tedium and pain.Lots of girls training so hard and so many hours and will never get anywhere or make a penny out of it.
They can't have any other hobbies and have trouble socially because of the time they spend at the gym and because training hours can just change at a moments notice and they and their families have to fit in.Then they get to certain age and they are just dropped.By this time they have ruined their education, have no social skills and nothing to fill the big hole left by gym.
I havern't even mentioned eating disorders, the costs involved and the effect on brothers and sisteers getting dragged around after them.

I now teach general gymnastics and rec only.We take the kids up to high level skills and they enjoy ot becausu they are not learning to do everything absolutely technically perfect we can move on sooner and keep it fun and fresh!
I think a lot of parents get flattered because their DC is chosen for squad, but truth of the matter is i could take nearly any young child and as long as they have a reasonable body shape and focussed enough to do the conditioning properlyto get themselves strong and flexible enough, I could make them into a decent competitive gymnast.

I have four kids who do different things and rarely get to eat before 8-9 most nights but they all love their various choices and are doing well academically. This again though is due to committment and hard work rather than the G&T the schools like to label them which I think makes their hard work seem fruitless. Sunday is family day though, no work or practice or anything just family time!!

As for the impact on our family, well it is an expensive ish sport £200 per season, kit, new boots for all different weathers and we spend our Sunday's all over the county as my 8 yr old has just joined the same team.

My ds1 (13) has football training 3 times a week for 2 hours each, a match every sunday for his club.
He also plays for the school so training once a week 2 hours and 1 or 2 matches a week.
He is really dedicated, always in the gym and running when there is only pre season training and no matches.

I used to think he would get bored of it, he started at age 6 but no sign of that so far

Katy you are right, and it's not necessarily one that doesn't want to, it could be one that can't.

A good friend of mine's daughter was identified for GB level training in her sport, but as a family including the child who was 12 decided against taking them up on it, because of the impact upon the whole family. But such a difficult decision. She was the middle of three children, the training was virtually every day and not really local at all. So difficult.

reallytired drums here. DS is 10 and has been playing Rockschool since very young. Before actually buying a drumkit we made sure he wanted to "commit" and he said YES. It is loud, but fun. Mostly plays along rock and jazz minus one tracks, it's cool to listen to and is a perfect outlet for a boy's energy.

DD1 does tap, violin and piano. She used to be more busy ie ballet and swimming on top of the others. We moved and haven't managed to slot her swimming back in altho intend to. Ballet, although she did very well in exams and seemed to enjoy, she dropped and I was gutted.

Violin takes up the most time atm - practice almost everyday and a 45 min lesson. It sometimes becomes an issue when I insist that she have her practice before we go out at the weekend. Dh sometimes bangs on about her music being a focal point. My point is that if she is talented and she enjoys her music then we should support her and having a schedule that we reasonably stick to is one way of doing this.

It's funny how he is immensely proud of her when she performs and I sometimes have to ask him if he thinks that it just 'happens'.

It may be the case that when she's older music will really affect how we operate as a family but we'll see. I think the general happiness and wellbeing of the family must be considered as well.

But Katy - I know what you mean

Our problem is having one child wanting to compete and train at a high level and one child not involved, and that is really hard on him

Putting it like that has reminded me of my first attempt at getting a degree, Katy. I decided to do a phys ed (qts) degree, because I thought it was sooo important for kids to find sports they loved, and take part in exercise, and build healthy lifestyles. < all very altruistic> so, I wasn't particularly interested in the 'win at all costs' sports mentality, for me it was about participation, and the importance of exercise for health and confidence and whatnot. Got a few offers and accepted a place.

It was awful. The entire curriculum was essentially based around the pursuit of excellence, and at one point we were even told we could not smile in the gym, as it meant that we weren't focused enough on the work. I left the course.

Some days I'm weirded out that I'm now involved in disability sports and recreation, albeit on a voluntary basis. Full circle

Different kids thrive on different things, don't they? I have no problem with parents being desperately proud of their kid's achievements, and even encouraging them to new heights. Sometimes it's a bit 'in your face' though!!

Ironically, I've even found myself having to develop a 'you go, girl!' persona that I can dredge up to boost kids that are struggling. It's very not British.

Madwomanintheattic, that's fantastic.

I've seen pushy parents at cycle races. Used to find them very hard to deal with when I was being a volunteer timekeeper or similar. I HOPE DH and I are not pushy. He's no smaller than other children at his training session and the coaches know he loves to go fast so have no problem teaming him up with a child of similar ability ( if not age) for exercises.

OK most 6 year olds do not have a poster of gerrint Thomas on their bedroom wall!

I think at school age a child can only be as committed as their family are willing to support. That support may be financial or time or shoulder to cry on or all 3. AS a teenager I was pretty committed to my afterschool activities, guides, scouts, choir, youth theatre, DoE. I was out 5 nights a week and plenty of weekends. Only one of them had a obvious influence on my future work, but indirectly I have taken skills on from all of them that I use regularly.

My parents support was mainly time and lifts.

Lougle, dd2 has cp and takes two dance classes a week. . I used to run a parent action group in the uk who provided out of school activities for children with disabilities - so we ran a ballet class, drama class, drumming classes, and also ran workshops using the sound wall etc, as well as family festivals where siblings and parents could come along too. it was all completely pan disability, and we had some v complex children. We fund raised and applied for grants to pay the instructors, and recruited volunteers to provide 1-1 support for the kids.

Dd2 wants to run a doggy day care facility. there is no way on earth that she could manage walking the darned things, but we nod and smile. She also wants to be a famous author, and ski in the Paralympics.

And we are always completely and utterly skint. I can't find a job. And some months I am emptying the freezer wondering what to put together for the next couple of days before pay day... It is daft.

I'm definitely not one of the shriekers. and none of mine are likely to make a career out of their hobbies, but I can see the impact on their confidence and self esteem.

We actually emigrated, and have ended up living in a place with fantastic opportunities for children, youths and adults with disabilities. And now I'm involved in two not for profits running them, because I feel so passionate about giving people these sorts of opportunities. And everything we do is cost cut so that it makes it possible for anyone that wants to take part, to do so. It's a good thing I can't find a job, lol.

My children are all incredibly lazy like me (except perhaps the middle one.) They have shown very little interest or commitment to anything outside of school except arsing around with their mates and eating crisps. The middle one did play football regularly from the age of 6 but that tailed off a bit once he wanted to sleep in on Sundays because he was always partying on Saturdays.

I have aborted so many after school activities, piano lessons, etc due to general inertia or downright mutiny on the part of my children that I do feel rather inadequate when I read these threads! I loathe overly pushy parents but I am envious of anyone whos child is capable of loving something and committing to it voluntarily.

Ds2 (12) does a lot of music - not a specialist music school but has chamber choir daily at school; plus two other choirs; lessons and daily practice in three instruments; plus related concerts, weekend workshops and residential courses.

He's very disciplined and motivated. I thought he would find it too hard to keep up with it all, but currently he's happy and doing well; so no need to change anything. He finds time to do other things as well: drama, cinema and theatre trips, school show and film making projects! He also has other hobbies too that he indulges from time to time.

I sometimes wonder how he fits it all in, but he is just very efficient with his time and doesn't squander it like the rest of us! Ds1 does no hobbies or activities and just spends his life on the laptop.

We do sometimes ease off to give him a break. So this week he's having a break from organ practice as he has an imminent piano exam, and the next organ lesson isn't for 4weeks. Normally I insist on practice right through hols (unless we're away), but this time he's going to have 2 weeks off piano as he's been working extremely hard on it and I think a complete break will do him good.

Thanks Lougle, very gracious of you.
But you honestly shouldn't feel inadequate. My ds1 didn't want to do anything outside school. Most dc would prefer to just be reasonably active and have hobbies. It is strange when you get an 8 year old who will just swim lengths for 2 hours at a time, especially when I am more a cup of coffee and a cake person. I am a bit non plussed.
And sometimes I will be watching her and some woman next to me will be waving her arms and shrieking at her child and I think 'dear god, do people think I am like that?' the pushy parents are scary, really scary.

Thank you for accepting my apology. I really am sorry.

crap times all round, then, hey, Pag?

My little farmer is convinced she'll be strong enough tomorrow...every day