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Original poster

i just prefer lighter weights....

34 replies

Soannoyingititchessobad · 01/09/2025 17:18

i'm an 'experienced' gym-goer. I'm 46 and been using a gym pretty much my whole life since I was about 19, so I'm no stranger to exercise. I've lifted weights much of this time.

Everywhere I look all i here is 'lift heavy, lift heavy' and pretty much saying that unless you're not lifting heavy and progressively over-loading there's no point lifting, particularly for peri-meno women, which I am.

But when I lift weights that are heavy i.e. challenging for me, I just end up feeling crap and can't recruit the muscles I need to, or I can't maintain my core. It just doesn't feel good (I'm only talking 35kg on the squat rack so it's not OTT)

Today I went to the gym and used 2x8kg kettle bells to do some front squats and felt brilliant. Like I was working my legs but also felt i was really in control of my core. However, I don't get the same leg-failure as I do when I do 35kg squats because my legs are pretty strong but my core can't keep up.

Don't even know what I'm asking for really - permission not to lift so heavy?? success stories from women who haven't lifted heavy but maintained or built muscle? People who feel similar and are more confident to make the choice and just be happy with it (unlike me, always questioning myself)

OP posts:
devildeepbluesea · 01/09/2025 18:17

Menopants · 01/09/2025 18:16

Try body pump! Lower weights but lots of reps and it’s fun

X post!

Menopants · 01/09/2025 18:16

Try body pump! Lower weights but lots of reps and it’s fun

devildeepbluesea · 01/09/2025 18:16

Quite honestly, my advice is to do what you like doing, or else you’ll just stop. If you prefer lighter weights have you thought about Les Mills Bodypump? Light weights, high reps, which did wonders for me. And you can increase VEEERY slowly if you choose to.

Original poster
Soannoyingititchessobad · 01/09/2025 18:14

AlphaApple · 01/09/2025 17:24

You’re doing fine. You don’t have to lift heavy. If you want to make it more challenging add pauses or tempos to your sets.

I did do this a bit today so maybe that’s why it felt good but still challenging. Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
Soannoyingititchessobad · 01/09/2025 18:14

snowynight · 01/09/2025 17:35

I'm no expert but I'm wondering whether you're training frequently enough and progressing your weights, albeit gradually? In theory the amount you can lift with good form should increase if you're training consistently. Maybe 35kg is too much for you at the moment but you might get there over time with gradual progression. I.e. try 10 kg kettle bells next time?

Obtain with weights twice a week and do Pilates once a week and yoga (weight bearing, hard) once a week . Maybe I need to lift 3 times - good point

OP posts:
Original poster
Soannoyingititchessobad · 01/09/2025 18:13

OverlyFragrant · 01/09/2025 17:23

Do you want to engage the muscle or build muscle.
That's the difference.
The build muscle you need to overbear it, using heavier weights.

Ah this is what I maybe don’t understand- I want to engage the muscle in order to use it to lift heavy. But don’t feel like I can do that with the heavier weights and maintain my core/protect my lower back. I have a great Pilates teacher and my core isn’t particularly weak so not sure why I feel so bad when I lift heavier

OP posts:
snowynight · 01/09/2025 17:35

I'm no expert but I'm wondering whether you're training frequently enough and progressing your weights, albeit gradually? In theory the amount you can lift with good form should increase if you're training consistently. Maybe 35kg is too much for you at the moment but you might get there over time with gradual progression. I.e. try 10 kg kettle bells next time?

AlphaApple · 01/09/2025 17:24

You’re doing fine. You don’t have to lift heavy. If you want to make it more challenging add pauses or tempos to your sets.

OverlyFragrant · 01/09/2025 17:23

Do you want to engage the muscle or build muscle.
That's the difference.
The build muscle you need to overbear it, using heavier weights.

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