If you consistently exercise, where does your “discipline” come from?

I like to eat, and exercise gives me the ability to eat more. I do also enjoy the improvements in my body that are both visible (muscle building) and invisible (improved cardio) so I find that motivating, but if I’m honest my main motivation is that I can eat largely what I like now because I’m so active.

Also being able to do it from home is a motivator for me (I know it’s the opposite for some people) because I can fit it in a lot more easily.

I exercise 6 days a week.

Mainly, I just absolutely love it. But when I'm not in the mood, I just treat it like a job.

I'm a bit hungover today and my body is slightly sore in places. But I was up early as I've got a crossfit class to go to, and I'll robotically pull on my exercise gear, have some breakfast and head out of the door- as I would for my job.

I don't think about it. I'll go and get it done, because that's what I do.

Remembering the state of my parents as they got old, tbh.

I do squats so I can get up off the toilet without help when I’m 80.

First if all, don’t do stuff you hate. I HATE (eg) gyms, swimming and yoga so I don’t do those things. Find something you enjoy.

I know that exercise is really good for my mental and physical health - both long term (cancer, Alzheimer’s - you name it) and very short term. Eg if I exercise this morning I’ll likely sleep well tonight.

I love my Pilates class - love the teacher and the other ladies and I love how strong and toned it makes me feel. Plus I’ve paid for the class and it’s a ‘because I’m worth it’ thing.

I have a couple of friends who I meet for 5k gentle runs. I look forward to seeing them and catching up.

Other than that I walk 45 mins on my own, listening to a podcast. I love how it makes me feel and I sleep well that night.

I like how I feel afterwards, I like feeling strong, I love feeling like I’m using my body. I tell myself that not everyone gets to have a healthy body and whilst I have one I’m going to move it as much as possible.

I think part of the reason why lots of people don’t stick out exercise is they think they have to go to the gym 4 times a week. They don’t particularly like it, it’s too much and so they don’t stick to it. You have to find something you enjoy, that is easily accessible (so you don’t come up with excuses) and works for your daily routine. Start off walking, make it your goal to do 10,000 steps every day, cut out most processed food and build from there.

I was brought up in a family where sport wasn’t important but health was, so I had a pretty good role model in terms of exercise - exercise for quality of life, not to progress in sport. I sometimes change things up and over the last couple of decades at various points I’ve had a PT to help me address specific issues. Overall my motivation comes from the realisation that humans aren’t built for such sedentary lives, so I do what I can to make up for a socially acceptable poor lifestyle - desks, phones, etc. I guess I’m aiming for quality of life as I age.

Great question. I find barriers to exercise everywhere. Like, already I feel overwhelmed by how much else I have to do. Taking the time to do something purely for me is just adding that time debt to somewhere else. A quick thing at home is all I can currently manage at the moment, like small stretches while I’m waiting for something like the kettle to boil for pasta. Willpower to ‘exercise’ for its own sake isn’t there yet. But I know that’s not enough long term so then I feel guilty about it.

I love the gym and getting out and moving. As a PP said, the gym is like an adult playground.
But on those rare occasions when I really can’t be bothered to lift weight after a 12 hour day, or don’t want to walk in the rain at 9pm, I ask myself whether I want to look like someone who is disciplined and exercises, or someone who doesn’t. You can’t want a certain look and not put the work in. Luckily my Dh is the same, so we encourage each other when we feel lazy.

Friends who are also doing it and you form a WhatsApp group and commit to going, join a club so gives you a regular commitment, get in a routine. When you exercise regularly you get the benefits and start to enjoy it! Good luck

I don't enjoy exercise, but I've been doing it for 20 years. I hate the repetitive nature of it. I hate how boring it is being stuck in a room. I hate the music (unless you get an instructor with some guitar leanings). I particularly hate it in the winter when you have to change and it's cold.
I have a love/ hate relationship with running.

I guess my ideal gym would be a giant playground, with 30 seconds on everything. A good circuit class is the nearest thing though.

I also have to build it round work and kids' activities. I leave for work at 7, so there's no class i can do before work. Weeknights can be problematic too.

So:
I pick a night i can do, then go to that class. Easier if it's on the way home from work, because then I can't get comfy at home.
I try for a 5k run at some point during the week. I tend to get a bit twitchy without one.
I do one weekend morning one. I really hate that one.

The only way I can do it is to kind of put my head outside myself. Like when you're giving birth. It's not so much discipline, more 'if i don't go to x, then I can't eat y and I will lose my strength/ ability. ' I'm in my 40s. Doing exercise is basically the equivalent of paying into my pension now.

You make it a habit. Easier to make something a habit if you enjoy it. It has to fit into your lifestyle.

I go to the gym three times a week. All strength exercise. I book in so I go on my way home from work. The gym has a booking system so you have to decide to go. There's no shilly-shallying. Takes 45 minutes per session.

Never would have said I would be that person ten years ago, but when I go on holiday I make sure I'm active at least some if the time and if the accommodation doesn't have a gym, I go to a local gym on a pay as you go basis. Because it's a habit. I know enough about strength training to get a decent workout with different equipment. I prefer free weights to machines.

I get told I’m disciplined but I don’t think it’s that.

I think you need to force yourself to go down the gym, lose weight and do cardio until you hit a certain point.

So, I’d hate the first 3 months. Then I’d find I’d lost some weight, got a few nice compliments, gone down a size and felt good. Then that motivates me to keep going.

Then, all of a sudden I start to enjoy running (or whatever) and I get cross if I can’t go.

You just need to smash through the first part and then your motivation will kick in once you start getting small results.

Like other people have already said, the secret is to find something you actually enjoy doing. I love lifting weights and I go to a very nice gym (a Third Space gym). It’s expensive but then I don’t drink or eat out or go on expensive holidays or own a car etc. so I can justify it that way. Apart from lots of good equipment and machines, it has a sauna and a swimming pool and I just enjoy spending time there aside from the weightlifting.

I also walk in the countryside. I just get on a train, go a few miles outside London and follow a public footpath and it’s just lovely. if the weather is good, I do every week and it’s nice to take some time away and do something for myself.

Lastly, I walk everywhere as much as I can. It doesn’t cost anything and it means I get to see what’s going on in my neighbourhood and on way to and from work.

You don’t have to put on Lycra and do Pilates or a bike class to be fit. Of course if you like Pilates or a bike class that’s cool too!

I do it every single day; combination of weights, cycling and a minimum of 12,000 steps. It has completely transformed my body and how I feel - for the first time in years I actively seek out sleeveless clothing. That’s all the motivation I need.

I don't know. It's a habit like brushing my teeth and having a few glasses of water a day.
And the alternative to not exercising and sliding through middle age and into older age in poor health is scary. I know that the day cancer, dementia or heart disease come for me I want to be fighting fit. I rarely enjoy it, I don't have many friends who go, I just get on with it. Gym, bootcamp and running slot in around my work and DC's.
I walk and carry heavy shopping a lot too, that's second nature.

You probably have to find the thing that motivates you. For me that was running.

since I was a small child I have always wanted to be able to run well. I used to be ok at it as a teenager until i found less healthy hobbies to engage in. As a child I used to watch the London marathon and think, one day I’ll run that.

so anyway about 4 years ago I did c25k and have kept up the ability to run 5k and done it more or less regularly since. In the early days I often had to drag myself out of the house. I would be thinking the whole time that I was running about finishing, as it was hard, but I wanted to get better. About a year ago I decided to really up my running and try and improve it. That was an effort. Lots of forcing myself out of the house through the winter (I would normally take a break from running between November and March) but I started to see improvement.

this year I started to enter races. Each time I got faster and that was really motivating. I naturally lost weight and I’m now a size I haven’t been since my teens. I find it easy now and I don’t have to force myself out of the house anymore. I joined a running club and look forward to the social aspect of running and chatting. I’m training for a marathon now with a view to trying to use my time to get into London 2027! I never thought that would be achievable at all. But as it turns out, once I found the discipline to stick at it, I’m actually quite good at it. I was first in my age group at my last race. Now I feel weird if I don’t run. I see just going a quick 5k no differently than a lot of people would see taking the dog for a walk.

it’s taken time to get here butt now it’s a part of my life that other things have to fit around. Many people give up in the early days as they can be hard but you have to push through until you start to enjoy it. Also even if I can’t be bothered to go or it’s hard while I’m doing it, I never regret it and I’m always glad I got out and did it.

I have just started exercising and feel in the same boat trying to work out how to continue to exercise without giving up. I find if I do it first thing I am ok but again sometimes I can’t as I have to be around for something. I have therefore bought two really light dumbbells into the house and plan to squeeze in some weight exercises throughout my day if I just can’t get outside.

I also plan to give myself days ‘off’ when I have a very active day like having to clean the house (we live on a building site at the moment so cleaning involves a lot of running about bending and stretching). This make me feel like I acknowledge I don’t need to do it everyday but I do need to do it when I won’t be physically exerting myself so it won’t be a chore just factored into my day.

Good luck OP

People are right when they say you need to enjoy something to keep it up long term. But I think it can be hard to enjoy something when you are just starting out as it all tends to feel like a slog until you build up a bit of stamina and confidence. I’ve recently got back into exercise after a long period of not doing very much, and I’ve paid for 2 sessions a week with a personal trainer. Once the appointment is in the diary I am committed, and I know I’ll do it properly when I get there. I hope that after 3 months of that I’ll have established a much better routine, built up some level of fitness and be starting to feel the endorphins so I’ll be able to go it alone 🤞

@IwasatClaines wrote everything I was going to except I don’t workout at home. Look for a strength training group gym, they’re often very supportive and it’s the best exercise for health. Definitely read the James Clear book.

Weight op is predominantly about what we eat, not exercise, as the saying goes, you can’t out run your fork. So if you’re unhappy with your weight you also need to address that, the gym won’t fix it for you. If you look unhealthy as you say, you need to also address what’s causing that, is it excess weight, or are there other factors, ie what you eat, not just how much, what you drink, ie how much alcohol, coffee, fizzy drinks etc and also your personal grooming, skin and hair care, teeth,

Anyway, i exercise 6 days a week, i gained weight and developed high blood pressure, i used mounjaro to enable me to diet and drop the weight and did the gym for the full journey whilst eating my protein to ensure I lost fat and not muscle.

What motivated me was I wanted to look toned with muscle definition when I finished my weight loss journey and hit goal , which I do, I wanted to look healthy, feel healthy, be healthy which I do and am, and I understood that as I work from home and sit at a computer all day it is bad for my health, I need to move, it’s critical, so I put my gym gear on and go,

as others said, you need to find what you enjoy, I do a mix of strength/ resistance and cardio, I put my ear buds in and music up loud, and am constantly adding new songs when I hear them to my play list. It’s me time basically.

I’ve also realised that even when I really can’t be arsed, my mood lifts hugely as I’m doing it,that I get the endorphin rush, and always come out smiling.

the truth is, you matter op, we all do, but the only person who can take care of us, is us. No one else can do it for us, and I’ve learned that taking care of myself, involves a healthy diet, exercise, a good skin care regime, good hair care, and taking the time to do that, as when we don’t, it results in poor health, and not liking what we see in the mirror.

Also: in response to all the ‘find something you love’ comments. I don’t disagree - finding something you enjoy is far more likely to lead to successfully building a habit/routine than something you hate.
And so yes - I do broadly like my gym routine/my running. But I don’t necessarily ‘enjoy’ it as much as I would enjoy reading a new book or baking a cake or watching some Netflix.

I think for far too long I put exercise off because I didn’t ’enjoy’ it enough - so don’t let that be your only motivator.

@IwasatClaines has said everything I was going to say! I don't have a gym membership, because at this time in my life, I just wouldn't go. I get up and then workout in my bedroom (weights or a YouTube video). Then I shower and get ready for the day, knowing I've done it. I also do long walks. I hate running and swimming, so I don't do them)

My main motivator now is bone health and preventing a recurrence of cancer (although I've always worked out and stayed slim and it didn't prevent the cancer in the first place).

Discipline can easily make exercise into a punishment, which just adds to whatever complex psychological mess got you to the place where you describe yourself the way you do.

You need to find a way of moving your body that you love and makes you joyful. I didn't manage to exercise consistently until my 40s when I eventually found things that brought me genuine joy. Now I exercise properly 3-4 times a week and like to stretch and move lots during my days.

The OP didn’t say one word about wanting to lose weight. That you immediately think wanting to go to the gym is a weight loss thing is a shame.

I agree with a lot of what’s been written. Do something you enjoy, do something where you’ll be missed if you don’t go - so with a partner or group, go early so you it’s done and over with before you really have time to think about it. Once you build the habit it’s easier

You need discipline until it's a habit then it's just something you do. I also try not focus on whether my body is changing or not as I think that could be demoralising as visually nothing may look different but you will be doing great things for your health.

I also try and remember what it's like starting from scratch and the thought of going back to the beginning gets me out the door.