Dealing with comments

Whatwouldscullydo · 2025-08-07T08:45:03+00:00

No one ever says- have u tried not sitting at home watching Netflix and drinking a bottle of wine. No one minds you turning down cake or fried chicken when you are already on the heavy side But start hitting the gym or going for a run and all of a sudden everyone has an opinion and has never been nore pushy trying to get you to eat stuff. What is it about spandex that gives a Green light to tell someone they don't look how a woman should look or that you are too skinny/muscley or whatever. Like you didn't look twice at me before. Whys it matter now. And im.not trying to lose weight why is that the only thing people assume working out is for. Amd its not for anyone but me. Do men get called crazy because they exercise? No. Men and a protein shake and a barbell is seen as perfectly normal. Thought we had moved on from women only doing pilates and yoga. And gow can you take the piss out of me bringing food to work. Least im not spending a fortune getting takeaways delivered or meal deals. Sorry dont know what the point of the thread is. Just tired today of all the comments and questions. Like I dont wanna go back to being home alone with my brain rotting in front of the tv. Maybe I want to get out the house for a bit and see people. How's that weird. Again no one cared when I did nothing and I think that's more tragic/crazy tbh

Roothewheel · 10/08/2025 06:28

ZenNudist · 09/08/2025 23:38

I'm pretty sure people are making small talk.

Yup.

No one will actually be giving this any thought beyond the nano second they mention it whilst waiting for their pint to be poured, or a colleague a bit bored at work at making chit chat

ZenNudist · 09/08/2025 23:38

I'm pretty sure people are making small talk.

YelramBob · 09/08/2025 23:31

WearyAuldWumman · 07/08/2025 16:25

I've had a couple of people warning me not to lose too much weight. I've lost 2 stones (over a period of nearly two years). I'm still over 14stones.

I also have one friend who's made comments about other people being "addicted" to the gym.

I'm trying to avoid the family osteoporosis and to build up more muscle mass. I'm in my 60s.

'Addicted to the gym' 🙄 Well yes you have to keep going, it's not as if you go for a few months and then just stop once you start feeling better FFS.

I had a conversation today with a friend who asked me how many times a week I go to the gym, she gasped when I told her four times.

YelramBob · 09/08/2025 23:16

I get you OP. Exercise and a strict diet is part of who I am, if I didn't do it I'd be the size of an elephant. I've lost 25kg over two years through sheer hard work (and had cancer treatment during that time which made me balloon) yet I still get comments like 'You're STILL going to the gym/running/swimming?' And that old chestnut 'Ooh you've lost enough now' 🤨 I was in the obese category before, had high blood pressure and sore knees but 🤷

The positive support however comes from certain friends and colleagues who are into fitness so they're the ones I listen to and chat about targets and new trainers 😁 I have good friends who drink a lot and eat shite but I've learned to never mention exercise to them as they just look confused bored

Megaclean · 09/08/2025 16:27

Op your friends, colleagues and customers either regularly frequent the pub you work in or work in a pub.

To say that demographic is not going to be regularly doing a Saturday am park run would be an understatement. Anyone parking more than a 1 min walk to the front entrance of the pub is probably regarded as being “obsessive” about their health

Alltheyellowbirds · 07/08/2025 21:57

Whatwouldscullydo · 07/08/2025 21:14

I’ve just come off another thread where OP said she’d lost a lot of weight by walking (walking to work etc instead of driving) and at least four people instantly came at her with “how do you have so much time!!! I’m far too busy!” Thats number one I think, and you often hear it if you say you’ve upped your steps or started exercising. Like you’re only managing it because you’re not as busy or important as they are

That's another thing people say alot to me is why dont you drive to XYZ. As if walking or cycling isn't an equally valid form.of exercise or transport. The way traffic is these days its actually quicker to walk but its automatically assumed there's something wrong with choosing to do so if you have a car.

Yep, I’d far rather walk than be stuck in traffic and then have to waste half an hour looking for a parking space! Different if you live somewhere with lovely quiet roads but certainly where I live walking is a far less stressful option.

Original poster

Whatwouldscullydo · 07/08/2025 21:14

I’ve just come off another thread where OP said she’d lost a lot of weight by walking (walking to work etc instead of driving) and at least four people instantly came at her with “how do you have so much time!!! I’m far too busy!” Thats number one I think, and you often hear it if you say you’ve upped your steps or started exercising. Like you’re only managing it because you’re not as busy or important as they are

That's another thing people say alot to me is why dont you drive to XYZ. As if walking or cycling isn't an equally valid form.of exercise or transport. The way traffic is these days its actually quicker to walk but its automatically assumed there's something wrong with choosing to do so if you have a car.

OP posts:

Alltheyellowbirds · 07/08/2025 20:51

Ryeman · 07/08/2025 11:41

This is a really good summary I think! I personally haven't come across any one in group one, but maybe that's just luck. I've always played sport and most of my friends are from that, so it helps!

Just ignore, OP! Btw, I think you do sound slim at that height/weight, though body composition plays a big part.

Show quote history

I’ve just come off another thread where OP said she’d lost a lot of weight by walking (walking to work etc instead of driving) and at least four people instantly came at her with “how do you have so much time!!! I’m far too busy!” Thats number one I think, and you often hear it if you say you’ve upped your steps or started exercising. Like you’re only managing it because you’re not as busy or important as they are…

Roothewheel · 07/08/2025 17:19

@waitingforpost you wouldn’t actually “call” anyone “crazy” to their face if you thought they were obsessed would you??

Roothewheel · 07/08/2025 17:17

Whatwouldscullydo · 07/08/2025 16:51

Nah its easy. A good laugh most the time. The occasional argument with customers and a fight outside and controversial conversation topics...what's not to love

In that case, looks like you’re going to have to suck up regular drinkers at your pub, and fellow pub workers, far from the epitome of health, thinking that someone who works out is a fitness freak.

Are these people also your friends? Or are there separate to the pub friends who also seem so focussed on your diet and fitness?!

TheOliveFinch · 07/08/2025 17:12

I exercise every day but mostly around an hour or so and have had the odd comment but usually positive rather than critical. The only time other people’s comments have been a pain is when I used to run and a lot of men and teenagers think women runners are fair game for their “hilarious” comments that you haven’t heard a million times before. Try and let it wash over you and carry on enjoying your exercise

Original poster

Whatwouldscullydo · 07/08/2025 16:51

Nah its easy. A good laugh most the time. The occasional argument with customers and a fight outside and controversial conversation topics...what's not to love

OP posts:

waitingforpost · 07/08/2025 16:49

@Whatwouldscullydo your job sounds tough, it's not for me! 😆

waitingforpost · 07/08/2025 16:48

And I would disagree & think 3 hours plus of exercise every single day is unnecessary. 3 hours plus of TV & drinking every day is also unnecessary.

Original poster

Whatwouldscullydo · 07/08/2025 16:48

We don't work rotas or shifts, I am not sure what you are adding excuses for someone you don't know

Come do a shift or two where I work...you will probably miss talking about fishing. It has a tendency to decend into utter madness which you will need a very strong stomach for 😳

OP posts:

waitingforpost · 07/08/2025 16:45

I agree we should all have a range of stuff to talk about but if you know what the answer to a question is dont ask it.

what makes you think any of us ask? 😆

3 hours isn't that much really. Having full blown anxiety at missing a session is worrying but having your plans messed up because the rota changed at shirt notice or it being decided that what you do in your free time is less important than an equally mundane reason for needing to swap so its ok that your shift changes instead of anyone else's can be annoying.

We don't work rotas or shifts, I am not sure what you are adding excuses for someone you don't know 😆

Original poster

Whatwouldscullydo · 07/08/2025 16:35

You are getting confused. It's the anxiety if she misses a session and then how she tries to re jig the rest of her week to fit in the session she missed. It's not healthy. Plus there isn't any need to be doing 3 hours plus of exercise every single day

3 hours isn't that much really. Having full blown anxiety at missing a session is worrying but having your plans messed up because the rota changed at shirt notice or it being decided that what you do in your free time is less important than an equally mundane reason for needing to swap so its ok that your shift changes instead of anyone else's can be annoying.

I agree we should all have a range of stuff to talk about but if you know what the answer to a question is dont ask it. Start just talking about something else. ( and never ask anyone over 70 how they are because next thing you know 15 mins have passed, and you know their entire medical history 😂)

It reminds me of when I was vegetarian actually. I just ordered what id order without saying anything to anyone and try and eat it in peace whilst engaging in whatever conversation was going on at thr time and it was everyone else who would bring it back to why you had a bean burger instead of a steak taunt u the entire time with their food then accuse u of being the problem.

OP posts:

LittleBoost · 07/08/2025 16:33

FluffyWabbit · 07/08/2025 15:28

My own father suggested I work out for 'vanity' which he 'already experienced when younger'.

I wasn't going to be mean and tell him a) that means his 'youth' ended around 16 because he has never worked out in all the 40+ years I've known him and b) he will now also experience sarcopenia, which I'm trying to avoid, hence the gym

People project their failures onto you to make you feel like you're the failure because you're not mirroring their choices.

I have had this in my physical, spiritual, educational and work life from many and it has all become tiresome white noise.

Just ignore it and keep doing what you do!

Edited

@FluffyWabbit When she was visited, my mum suggested I was vain because I walked to and from the gym in my gym clothes 🙃

waitingforpost · 07/08/2025 16:32

If someone comes in saying they spent the weekend on the sofa with wine/beer and caught up on their sky recordings no one would say that is obsessive. But soend it going cycling or running or swimming is obsessive ? Why?

I don't know anyone who regular spends their weekends only drinking on the sofa and watching TV, but you are still confusing the meaning of the word obsession...

waitingforpost · 07/08/2025 16:27

And getting up early to work out before work and doing it on the weekend's/day off is normal surely ? Not obsessive.

You are getting confused. It's the anxiety if she misses a session and then how she tries to re jig the rest of her week to fit in the session she missed. It's not healthy. Plus there isn't any need to be doing 3 hours plus of exercise every single day.

Is it any more boring than anything anyone else talks about?

I'm not interested in my colleague who only talks about fishing. It's boring to only talk about one thing, is that really controversial? Clearly I have hit a nerve!

And what do you talk about if you cant talk about what you did all day.

I can't speak for you but I am good friends with some of my colleagues and we talk about anything & everything, what we did that day might be 5 mins of the conversation & I genuinely like them and have fun.

WearyAuldWumman · 07/08/2025 16:25

I've had a couple of people warning me not to lose too much weight. I've lost 2 stones (over a period of nearly two years). I'm still over 14stones.

I also have one friend who's made comments about other people being "addicted" to the gym.

I'm trying to avoid the family osteoporosis and to build up more muscle mass. I'm in my 60s.

Roothewheel · 07/08/2025 16:22

You could hit 5000 steps a day op, and your colleagues and customers would say you’re obsessed

Roothewheel · 07/08/2025 16:21

Whatwouldscullydo · 07/08/2025 16:20

There is an irony i suppose in people who spend their time in establishments providing " addictive services " and staff who soend their time on twitter, playing games, watching niche shows, staying up.late watching sports and keepimg deliveroo, kfc, macdonalds, gregs etc in business calling someone who hits the gym the obsessive one 😂

Show quote history

Op you work in a pub

your regulars will be bringing up the rear in terms of health

Many of your colleagues may be following the same journey

Original poster

Whatwouldscullydo · 07/08/2025 16:20

Roothewheel · 07/08/2025 16:16

Well it’s “obsessive” to the odd bods at your pub OP

Whereas…. I said to come colleagues I’d been for one heck of a long ride last Saturday afternoon, and I was asked for my route, and that…. Was that

Show quote history

There is an irony i suppose in people who spend their time in establishments providing " addictive services " and staff who soend their time on twitter, playing games, watching niche shows, staying up.late watching sports and keepimg deliveroo, kfc, macdonalds, gregs etc in business calling someone who hits the gym the obsessive one 😂

OP posts:

waitingforpost · 07/08/2025 16:20

Do don’t actually “call” her “crazy” do you? Just think it?

Ive only just thought it, other colleagues have said it to her face though.