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Original poster

Abuse while running :(

110 replies

TheGaffer · 28/08/2023 10:25

Honestly…I despair…three times in the last six months alone I’ve been shouted out while out running.

  1. two schoolboys…maybe 14-15 shouting at me from the other side of the road (hey fatty). Was irritated but ignored them and kept on running. (And I’m not fat!)
  2. One man in his 60s I’d guess when I overtook him (by running on the road and giving him plenty space on the pavement shouted that I was so ugly no man would have me) (I mean…I’m not stunning by any means but I don’t think I’d qualify as THAT ugly!)
  3. this morning 6am three 20 something men in the park sat on a bench about 10 feet away from me shouting “hey you in the pink tshirt- you’re a dog”
Im 46 and have run for years. In the past I used to get the odd wolf whistle or some sexist comment which i ignored but generally would wear headphones so I never really noticed. Recently I dont trust my eyesight so stopped wearing headphones so I could be more aware of my surroundings. It’s been a revelation (in a bad way)

It’s not even like I live in a dodgy area…it’s all leafy suburbs. I was really upset this morning when I got home and I told my husband who was furious and wanting to go and have a word with the men (which I dissuaded him from as there were three of them). He is also a runner and I asked him how many times he had abuse shouted at him while he was running…never…because of course, no man is going to yell abuse at another (likely fitter and faster man).

Ive never felt unsafe and I’ve not engaged with any of them, but honestly…what makes people think it is ok to shout abuse at solo female runners?

OP posts:
Almondmum · 28/08/2023 12:02

That's utterly shit. I've had a few instances of abuse but mercifully few and far between.

Why can't us women just do simple things like go for a run without having to put up with this shit?

Chickenmumsticks · 28/08/2023 12:01

It's horrible isn't it?

I read an account of a female runner wearing a hijab getting so much abuse each time she went out. It really stays with you.

I run with headphones kind of for this reason. The ONLY time I felt I had a good comeback was some guys yelling out 'you should be running' during a rest break... I just said 'you first'.

Not massively clever or funny but it sort of gave me some power as they never would say that to a man.

Writingonthewalls · 28/08/2023 11:55

DutchCowgirl · 28/08/2023 11:28

Yes i can totally relate to what you are saying. Every week i run the seem route and often i meet this elderly couple walking together and the man shouts to me “Shall i call you a cab?” 🙄Ofcourse he doesn’t dare to shout this to a male runner…

At first I was angry but now I’m thinking about his poor wife who must hear this type of phrases all day long!

Why don’t you stop and say something to him!
I think the answer is to have a list of retorts for each situation and keep on running. It’s depressing how unpleasant some people are but sometimes they need to be called out on it.

Britneyfan · 28/08/2023 11:52

This is really awful! I’ve never been much of a runner myself but did go through a period back in the day at Uni where I’d force myself sometimes for the sake of my weight. Maybe I was just lucky if perhaps it’s to do with the place I was running or times have changed but other than the odd wolf whistle or silly comment like the cab one which wouldn’t bother me, I don’t ever remember anything like this.

I find it so sad and upsetting that random people would say this sort of stuff to you especially when it’s clearly not true. Imagine what they’d say to me (who actually IS fat at a size 20) if I took up running?! It’s also sad that being fat and ugly are still seen as the worst insult you can level at a woman. If you are fat or ugly or both you still have to exist in the world so what business is it of theirs even if this were true? Are you not allowed to breathe the same air as them?! FFS.

MullionC · 28/08/2023 11:40

This is the reason I don’t run or if I do it in places where people typically go for exercise. The main insult I used to receive every single time I ran was something about being fat. I am not fat at all. I am a toned size 8 and even if I was fat it’s obviously not ok. Why do men do this?

DutchCowgirl · 28/08/2023 11:28

Yes i can totally relate to what you are saying. Every week i run the seem route and often i meet this elderly couple walking together and the man shouts to me “Shall i call you a cab?” 🙄Ofcourse he doesn’t dare to shout this to a male runner…

At first I was angry but now I’m thinking about his poor wife who must hear this type of phrases all day long!

Original poster
TheGaffer · 28/08/2023 10:58

Ah thank you…I was just looking to vent and I knew there would be some on here who have shared that experience. Solidarity!

i think I’m more affected by it as my daughters are also getting into running now like @Ichabodandme and I dont want them to have to put up with this shit. What do I even counsel them to do? When I was younger some men would get more and more aggressive if ignored them until I acknowledged them….like they needed to see me acknowledge receipt of one of their wolf whistle “complements”. Now I ignore them (and to be fair it’s more insults I seem to be getting these days than wolf whistles!) but if I was a cute 20 year old, I’m not sure that’s the best course of action?

OP posts:
Fruitynutcase · 28/08/2023 10:37

This is why i never too up running in my younger days . I tried it once and the cat calls , filthy comments etc just put me off . I had a woman spit at me through a car window too .

Ichabodandme · 28/08/2023 10:35

I’m also so saddened to read this, it makes me so angry! I don’t know what the answer is.

As a runner I’ve had my fair share of comments over the years but like you normally have the headphones in to screen the crap out!

I worry for my DD 21 who has just started running and loving it but I know that the comments and stupid heckling and horn beeping will soon start and I don’t want it to deter her. We’ve even mapped out safe routes for her to try when she’s back at Uni but it’s just so wrong that we even have to do this.

Alargeoneplease89 · 28/08/2023 10:29

Really sorry to read this OP, it must really be hurtful especially when your DH doesn't encounter the same abuse. If you confront them, I don't imagine it will make much difference but I would just give them the middle finger just to make myself feel better 😂

Is there anyway you could have a bodycam? Start shaming them on FB?