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Original poster

Advice for a total exercise newbie

65 replies

ConfusedAndStressed95 · 25/11/2019 02:17

I am in my early 20's and I need to lose half of my body weight and I have no idea where to start. Over the past few months I have completely changed my diet and I am losing weight slowly but I really want to get fit, but I'm terrified of joining the gym or fitness classes.

My friends are gym goers and have offered to take me and show me around and work with me but I really don't want them to. I don't want them to see just how unfit I am. I'm working towards the Couch to 5k but I'm unsure about what else I could do. I used to play rugby as a teenager but I don't know if I want to go back to that type of commitment until I can run more than ten yards without feeling like I'll pass out.

I'm looking at local fitness groups but they're mainly aimed at older people and I'm not sure I'd fit in. Ideally I think I'd like to go to the gym but one that my friends don't go use. It's likely that I'd pay for a personal trainer for awhile until I know what I'm doing but I'm really afraid of sticking out like a sore thumb or having people judge me. I know I don't look massively overweight despite needing to lose so much as I 'carry it well' and that people of all shapes and sizes use the gym but it's a massive irrational fear. How do I get over this and make the seemingly minor but actually monumental step into new and better habits?

OP posts:
Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 28/11/2019 14:05

@PolloDePrimavera, I'm used to walking or at least I was, my mother had a holiday cottage on the Northumbrian coast so I'd walk for miles each day. The nearest village was a 12 mile walk if you didn't cut across the beach and I've done that walk a lot. It was a little disheartening to realise just how tired I was after 7 but I expected I'd be a lot worse than I was. I think once my stamina has improved I'd quite like running. I used to enjoy the treadmill.

@PetraDelphiki, I like ballroom dancing because the steps are easy to follow. I dislike the flailing around that goes with zumba, I tried it a couple of years ago and really didn't enjoy it. I have ASD and panic in visually busy places and ballroom/cèilidh at least they're fairly regimented and while cèilidh's aren't calm they're easy to follow and often paired which I think I prefer. Because I'd only dance with someone I'd trust and that prevents a lot of the panic. I'm going to go for another walk tomorrow, mainly because tomorrow I need to go into town and pick up cheese and wine for my housemate but I really need decent trainers. The ones I have have ripped massive holes into my ankles. I'm not so much fussed about being the fat one, I'm very confident about myself and my body because I'm overweight but I've a good body shape and I can dress well but I am bothered about being the unfit one. I'm very ashamed about how long I've let this go on and get this bad. I know it's not totally my fault and in part worsened by health issues I have no control over (4 types of scoliosis, ehlers-danlos syndrome which causes my hip to pop out, my heart was very weak for a long time thanks to an autoimmune disorder and over summer they thought I had lung cancer or COPD) and it's been up and down like that for roughly 8 years. I used to do running, hiking, surfing/bodyboarding, mountain biking, dancing, football, lacrosse, kickboxing, netball, hockey and throughout school I played on the boys rugby team because there wasn't a girls one but nothing in the rules saying I couldn't play if I got through tryouts. And now I can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath or walk quickly and it's really starting to bother me. I'm looking into kickboxing classes for adults in my city because I really enjoyed them but there don't seem to be many. Theres a couple of Judo clubs but in Judo there is a lot more physical contact and I'm not sure I'd like that.

OP posts:
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 28/11/2019 13:41

Swimming is a great exercise to start with - low impact on your joints, take things at your own pace etc. Then work up to higher impact cardio. But I completely agree with the person who said that no one in the gym will care, and will just be glad that you are looking to improve your fitness.

PetraDelphiki · 28/11/2019 13:39

And I hate to push it but c25k really does work and doesn’t involve joining a gym! Start it now, do it 3 times a week and you’ll be amazed. A year ago I couldn’t run at all - yesterday I almost did 5k in under 35 mins (I know still pathetically slow to all the runners who think anyone can run 5k in under 30 with no training at all) but a major achievement for me! Ask for good trainers for Xmas...

Look up joe Galloway run/walk training...he’s an ex Olympian who teaches that you take walk breaks to improve...just like you do in c25k..

PetraDelphiki · 28/11/2019 13:35

If you like dancing try zumba...great cardio and if you can dance you’ll feel better at it than those who can’t regardless of your size!

I do know how you’re feeling...being the “fat one” when everyone you are with is thinner and fitter is very bad motivation to go to exercise. Go to the gym by yourself and have a good induction with a trainer then do it alone. Audio books or music are good. And remember that 2 minutes on a treadmill is still better than 2 minutes on a sofa! Even if you start with very low intensity/short time you will get fitter and increase it slowly!

PolloDePrimavera · 28/11/2019 13:31

@ConfusedAndStressed95 good on you, you've made progress already! It'll become a habit after not long and you'll get twitchy, wanting to exercise!

Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 28/11/2019 12:50

@Bluntness100, I've started. I walked 7 miles in one go yesterday which isn't something I've done before. I know size doesn't indicate fitness but she is seriously fit. She competes in many many different sports and lifts weights. I'd be one of those people going slowly on the bikes or run for two mins and then leave because I have no stamina or endurance. I have hidden disiblities and while I used to be very fit when I was about 14 this is the first time in 8 years I've been cleared for any sort of fitness and activity. I've agreed to go to ballroom dancing and cèilidh society with my housemate as she's been going for a couple of years and is very frustrated I've never been despite going to a performing arts school and dance class throughout my life. Which may be a fun way to get fit.

@PolloDePrimavera, I live in the safest city in the UK so I'm very confident about going out in the dark so the other morning I was out walking at 4 and I really really enjoyed it. I used to go mountain biking and it made me really really happy. But it's not something that I think I can get back into yet and I hate cycling on roads so wouldn't cycle otherwise.

@HollyBollyBooBoo, that could work. I've got just about enough room in my room to do them.

@Bluntness100, I would really need a PT. I lose motivation and give up really quickly especially if I'm not comfortable so having someone to keep me on track would be beneficial. I think I'll likely find a gym that my friends don't go to though and as cliche as it sounds I will likely wait till January because I just can't afford it right now and I'm not actually going to be in my city for 90% of December so I'd be wasting money till I get back.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 28/11/2019 12:25

The thing about the gym op is not just it aids weight loss but it changes the way your body looks. It tightens everything up, gives a more toned appearance.

The benefits are huge, not just in terms of health, but also your overall appearance especially if you're on a big journey.

A personal trainer is a good plan, because you need to find what you enjoy doing. And do different things, so you might enjoy weights, or running, or elliptical, or rowing. Doing different things keeps it from getting boring, and if you do things you enjoy, it does not become a chore. You don't need to do anything uou don't enjoy and you don't need to do the same shit for hours on end or every time.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 28/11/2019 12:25

Joe Wicks HIIT sessions, they're brilliant and you only need a small space to do them.

PolloDePrimavera · 28/11/2019 12:15

Totally agree with @Aquamarine1029 , people are only interested in themselves. Personally I've never lost weight at the gym but I did C25K two years ago and have never looked back. I'm not good at running but can do a 10k with a strong wind behind me. I like being in the fresh air and choosing when I can exercise so they are other advantages. Obviously you should make sure you can be seen for safety reasons, but I prefer sometimes going out in the dark as I feel less conspicuous. Good luck!

Bluntness100 · 28/11/2019 12:12

Firstly what do you mean you're working towards couch to five k? Have you started? If not why not, and well, get started,,if you have started well done.😄

As for the gym, as pp said, no one gives a shit. I have a home gym, but there is also one in our office and when I'm work travelling I use hotel ones. I've seen many large people, very very large people, and they crack on at their own pace and no one looks twice.

I'd also add that size is no indication if fitness. I've seen some very slim people who ar clearly very unfit, I've seen some very large people who can seriously move. I've also seen more people than I can remember playing at it. Like getting on the bike, and cycling so slowly whilst watching thr tv that they may as well be sitting on their sofa at home (and yeah I know about hidden disabilities before anyone gets a bit righteous). I've also seen people come in, run for about two mins on the tread mill and then leave again knackered.

The point is, you get all shapes and sizes in the gym, as well as all levels of fitness.. No one is watching, everyone is focused on themselves, and not everyone in there is exercising like they have mr motivator shouting obscenities in their ear.

Genuinely you've nothing to worry about, so don't let fear hold you back.

Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 28/11/2019 11:59

@Pepperwand, my housemate always invites me to the gym with her but I don't want to go with her. She is really really lovely thats not the issue. It's that she is really really fit and pretty and I'd feel like an elephant about to explode next to her. I know it's silly and I've no issue going clubbing or dancing or whatever with her but she's the sort of person who would make me feel intimidated at the gym.

OP posts:
Pepperwand · 28/11/2019 10:03

I am also a total exercise newbie. I've never been fit and so have had a lifetime of telling myself that I'm just one of those people that carries too much weight, that I'm no good at exercise, that I'm not the sort of person that goes to the gym. Well, I finally decided that I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and even if I didn't want to do it, I was going to do it anyway. I joined a gym, had an introductory PT session and I'm just going to keep on doing it as I hate feeling the way I have been. What has helped me is making a playlist of motivational speeches for fitness, there are loads on YouTube and I'm listening to them while I work out so I have a voice in my ear constantly reminding me to move forward.

Wishing you the best of luck, I'm early 30s and it's taken until now to finally get to the point where I NEED to make the change....I just wish I'd started earlier!

chipsandpeas · 25/11/2019 14:06

most gyms as part of the induction will show you what to do, how to use the machines based on what you are trying to achiveve
so a personal trainer may not be needed

Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 25/11/2019 13:55

@Aquamarine1029, thanks. I needed to hear that. I'd love to go to the gym with my friends but the one who is really into sport and fitness would want to 'coach' me and I don't want that to become the dynamic. I do realise that I am very lucky to have friends that want to support me though.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 25/11/2019 02:35

This is the absolute, 100% truth...

No one at the gym cares. No. One. Cares. People are too busy dealing with their own shit to even bother noticing you. If there is the odd person who does notice you, they will be happy for you that you're trying to improve your health.

Please stop wasting your time and life worrying about what others may think. They don't know you and they don't matter.

You are very VERY lucky to have friends who want to help you progress on your journey. Take advantage of it! They love you for good reason. Take the leap and go for it. You won't regret it!

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