Advice for a total exercise newbie

Hey confused - well done on deciding to get fit. But can I just say you don't have to go to a gym to get fit - especially if it's not your thing.

Firstly - FITSTEPS!!! Have you ever heard of it? You say you like ballroom dancing - well this was devised by 2 of the Strictly pro's (Ian and Natalie) It is SO MUCH FUN and the classes are mostly frequented by OAP's or larger ladies - it's all based on ballroom and latin dances. You can find your local class here

Or if you like walking why don't you see if you can find a local hiking group to join.

There are loads of ways to et fit that are fun. I also find having an "appointment or commitment" to exercise - like a class I'm signed up to or booked in with a friend - makes me much more likely to stick to something.

Spinning is a good option - it's loud, it's dark and no one will see or care if you aren't doing exactly what the instructor says - it's a great way for bulding up cardio too.

Also everyone who has said - no one in the gym cares - are 100% on the money! Sometimes the biggest dear is just walking through the door for the 1st time.

Good luck whatever you do and make sure you are having fun

I'd also recommend signing up for parkrun (as people always mention) - a great accessible supportive way to start getting more exercise. And you can also volunteer as well - it's a good way to get into the habit.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do

I also weirdly loved doing the beep test.

You can get apps for this. Then you can take yourself off to a quiet park or street (or back garden!). Put a couple cones/shoes/sleeping dogs down to mark the distance and off you go! Brilliant way to track progress too!

(People at my gym regularly do spontaneous bleep tests if a few people fancy it, so you could think about that later on too?)

I was a total gym newbie a couple of years ago. Having never really exercised regularly. My biggest tip is to go to the fitness classes run at the gym. I found this was the only way I would push myself (because someone else was up there doing it!). If I did the machines I would tend to quit before any kind of intensity kicked in so I need the structure and motivation of a class. If you have a PureGym near you they have loads of classes and pretty good value compared to other gyms.

Also, nobody cares what you look like in the gym, but I'm with you, I wouldn't want to go with friends. I know people who won't go to the gym alone ever, but that's how I prefer to work out.

No rugby club I ever played with would ever turn anyone away. I've played with women who spent their whole career never able to run more than a few yards without stopping for a rest .

Tackling practice and so on will build strength so quickly without needing aerobic fitness, and you will get stronger so quickly and have some fun along the way, making it easier to stick with. Why not just try one?

You can do this!

Email to the gym sounds fine if that will make you feel more comfortable. They will also be able to advise when the quieter times are.

Spin is as intense as you want it to be. There is nobody watching you to see how hard you are going and you can always pedal slower if you need a break. Its also good as non-weight bearing exercise. But you choose whatever class or activity you feel most at ease with.

Think again about going back to rugby!
You'll ge tlots of support from the other women on the team, motivation and team spirit.
There's room for everyone of every level in rugby, even if your general fitness is on the floor at the moment I'm sure you will be able to take part to whatever level you feel able.
And it'll get you back in the swing of it!

Exercise is brilliant for mind, body and soul but it doesn’t necessarily make you lose weight. You need to be in calorie deficit to lose any weight.
Have you got my fitness pal? That’s a good way of tracking how many calories you are eating.

My pp can be summed up in this quote that helped me a lot last year:

A year from now you'll wish you had started today

Good luck and let us know how you get on!

I started exercising in July this year. Before that I was spectacularly unfit & felt embarrassed by my lack of stamina. I went with a super fit friend & did cringe a bit at how weak/slow I was by comparison. I persevered though & am doing so much better now. The first 6 weeks were difficult but I don't ache constantly anymore!

I only do classes at the gym because I'm too embarrassed to ask about how to use the equipment & scared that I'll chicken out if I go by myself & don't know what to do. I do different classes to my super fit friend so I don't actually see her there at all anymore. There's a huge range of different people that I do see though. Some are proper athletes, although I only see them in passing - they don't seem to do classes. There's plenty of people at the other end of the scale too - very overweight men who've got health problems that losing weight should help with, postnatal women trying to lose their baby-weight, teens who find exercise good for their mental health, people with various disabilities... There's such a huge range of people at my gym that I'd be genuinely surprised if you were out of place at your friend's gym!

I have anxiety & depression & ASD runs in my family - no diagnosis myself but it's suspected. Exercise has been amazing for my mental health & just generally how I feel in myself. I'm still not entirely sure how I actually got started... It's really not something I would normally do but it all happened so fast - I heard my friend mention the gym, said I'd always wondered about trying the sort of class she was talking about & before I knew what was happening she'd signed me up for the next day & I enjoyed it so joined the gym before I left. Now I'm paying by direct debit every month I have the choice to go regularly, waste the money or have an actual conversation & tell them I don't want to be a member anymore. I don't do talking to people & we don't have money to waste so I keep going!

Honestly, don't overthink it. Just get on & sign up to a gym. I'd go with your friend's gym just because it's probably not dreadful if your friend goes there! Don't wait until you've talked yourself out of it, or "rationalised" it away, just do it! It'll be worth it in the end, honest!

I think part of it is shame that I've let myself go so much and that I don't want to see proof of how unfit I am. It's really difficult to face that.

It is and I understand. I was the fattest woman when I joined my gym and I am still the fattest now, by a country mile! Just a bit firmer round the edges!

The only thing I can tell you is the fear of taking that first step (literally and figuratively) is far worse than actually doing it. Once you are in, you will look back at yourself and wonder what the fuss was about.

It took me a good 2 years(!) to pluck up the nerve to join my place. I regret my dilly dallying sorely as it has helped me so much in body and mind.

You've listed loads of things you want to try, so now its time for the big girl pants and a deep breath. BTW, I started with spinning too. It kills you the first few times, but like I said earlier, it never gets easier, because you just get better and push yourself harder!

Couch 2 5k is brilliant. We did it last year, both middle aged and fat. Now we do Parkrun every Saturday (highly recommended).

I've joined the local gym and do Zumba and Pilates. Also Water aerobics sometimes. Go for it!

I'm a PT and go to the gym daily and if someone judges you they are the kind of person that will find fault with you no matter what. If I see someone who isn't obviously a regular gym goer it needs to lose a lot of weight I always am so pleased for them that they have made that first positive step.

I'd be one of those people going slowly on the bikes or run for two mins and then leave because I have no stamina or endurance

As Bluntness says, so? It never gets easier, you just get better!

In my HIIT classes we often use equipment. When I started there I was using 7kg balls. 18 months later I am doing the same exercise but with 23kg balls!

I'd be one of those people going slowly on the bikes or run for two mins and then leave because I have no stamina or endurance

So? And then the next time, or the time after that, you leave after two and a half mins, and then three mins and then five, and you build it up,

Ignore your mum. Prove her wrong. Fitness is a funny thing, it doesn't take that long to build it up. A month after starting whatever you fancy you will notice a huge difference, and again a month after that.

Go for it.

Aqua is 100% right - "No one at the gym cares. No. One. Cares"

Everyone is so busy worrying about themselves to care about you.
Far from being a mean thing, it's actually very liberating!

My main advice however, is to find the thing that floats your boat.
Whether it is badminton, nordic hiking or bog snorkelling. Finding that one thing you love to do will be key to success and sticking with it. And that can be team pursuit, solo competing or a mix. There is no right or wrong option.

For example, I am not a runner. I have tried and failed umpteen times. I did C25k and hated it and loathed parkrun with a fiery passion. But stand me behind a barbell and I will try and pick up anything you put on it! We're all different and that's great!

Good luck in finding your thing.

(Oh, and all gyms/classes/PTs are not equal. Some you will begrudge going to, some will feel like a second home. Don't be afraid to try several)

Ignore your mum, she should be encouraging you. Show her she's wrong! Why would she want to drag you down like that?

Believe me I know how daunting it can be starting to exercise. I started my fitness journey nearly 5 years ago and it was hard. But the rewards are fantastic. I'm still a little overweight but the satisfaction I get when I come out of a really tough spin class and I survived is brilliant!

Go for it - you won't regret it.