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Original poster

Advice for a total exercise newbie

65 replies

ConfusedAndStressed95 · 25/11/2019 02:17

I am in my early 20's and I need to lose half of my body weight and I have no idea where to start. Over the past few months I have completely changed my diet and I am losing weight slowly but I really want to get fit, but I'm terrified of joining the gym or fitness classes.

My friends are gym goers and have offered to take me and show me around and work with me but I really don't want them to. I don't want them to see just how unfit I am. I'm working towards the Couch to 5k but I'm unsure about what else I could do. I used to play rugby as a teenager but I don't know if I want to go back to that type of commitment until I can run more than ten yards without feeling like I'll pass out.

I'm looking at local fitness groups but they're mainly aimed at older people and I'm not sure I'd fit in. Ideally I think I'd like to go to the gym but one that my friends don't go use. It's likely that I'd pay for a personal trainer for awhile until I know what I'm doing but I'm really afraid of sticking out like a sore thumb or having people judge me. I know I don't look massively overweight despite needing to lose so much as I 'carry it well' and that people of all shapes and sizes use the gym but it's a massive irrational fear. How do I get over this and make the seemingly minor but actually monumental step into new and better habits?

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Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 28/12/2019 20:36

@BuzzShitbagBobbly, hopefully but it'll take awhile. I'm going to ask gym goer friends about the gyms they go to and decide which gym I feel comfortable joining.

@Loopytiles, I won't restrict food after exercising and once I'm in a proper exercise routine. Instead I'll meal plan and work out what I should and shouldn't be eating. I walk quite a lot currently and I enjoy it but it's very slow going.

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Loopytiles · 16/12/2019 16:33

It’s not adviseable to restrict food after overeating - increases risks of overeating. Better just to go back to plan and have sufficient food.

An option is to go to the gym but not with your friends: you’ll get an induction on how to use the machines etc. Tell friends offering coaching that you’d prefer not to.

Recommend podcasts for walks/jogs.

KellySpotFitness · 16/12/2019 16:28

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BuzzShitbagBobbly · 09/12/2019 06:52

Well done you!

I think the draining was as much emotional as it was physical - it is a brave thing to start something new and out of your comfort zone.

But you did it! Soon enough you will be kicking and boxing like an old pro!

Give yourself a pat on the back Grin

Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 08/12/2019 19:42

@BuzzShitbagBobbly, fun but knackering. I was completely and utterly drained. Will likely go back but on a casual basis because its £100 for a six week course that starts before I'm back in the city.

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BuzzShitbagBobbly · 05/12/2019 16:18

@ConfusedAndStressed95 how was kickboxing?

Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 30/11/2019 14:54

Today however health wise isn't great. I'm having fish and chips for dinner and then two of my housemates and one of my friends and I are having a wine and cheese night so it's a good thing I'm tracking what I eat and know what I can do to balance it out. Several days on veggie sticks to counterbalance the lack of nutrients I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 30/11/2019 14:46

@ShinyGiratina, that sounds rough. Congrats on being able to push through it. I hate going red and sweaty and out of breath. It's an awful sensation but I need to make a change so I'm going to push through it. If I continue the way I am I'll end up in an early grave.

@HunterHearstHelmsley, I'm hoping that this sort of class will improve my coordination because I have limited coordination at the moment. Plus I figured it was good to start with something I had done before so it's less intimidating and there may be some remnants of muscle memory there.

@Runningonempty84, close I'm in York but those classes sound fantastic. The kickboxing lessons are women only because I think I would find it too intimidating if I were working with a guy.

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Runningonempty84 · 30/11/2019 10:16

OP... are you in Sheffield? You mentioned safest city in the UK, so I'm guessing you may be?

If so, get yourself a SIV membership right now. People in Ponds Forge, Hillsborough, Concord, etc are of all ages and shapes and sizes, and the range of classes is brilliant. There are people in my spin class who are very obese, and people in the same class who are pro athletes. We all work together, no judgment, just having fun and getting fit.

Also, check out Strideout running club. They're women-only, very inclusive, and do lots of absolute beginner C25k courses. Good luck!

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 30/11/2019 10:14

Well done OP! I hope you enjoy the class!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 30/11/2019 09:00

I do classes. You need to find what you enjoy. There is no point slogging at something you hate because you won't keep it up.

I'll echo that no one cares. However, if someone notices someone is doing something that might do them some damage then they might point it out. It's to help though, not trying to shame anyone.

ShinyGiratina · 30/11/2019 08:57

Kick boxing sounds great.Grin

Fitness builds up fast. Both my pregnancies impared my mobility with SPD to the point that I couldn't do basic functions like walking around the supermarket. By the time I'd gone through two rough births, I was rebuilding my fitness from walking less than 100m to the end of the road and back and going to bed to recover. 6 months later I was fit for mainstream classes and C25k. Second time, I started C25k when I was no longer limping and I was tired of puffing everywhere. Those 30 second runs felt like death. Then the 1 mins. Then the 3 mins... and the 5s... then before you know it, you're dying your way through 15, 20, 25 mind and 30 seconds sound easy. A year after the first run, I had a HM medal.

You are allowed to find it hard, get puffy and sweaty. Fit people find it hard, and get puffy and sweaty, but the work it takes to get to that stage changes.

Enjoy yourself Smile

Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 30/11/2019 00:15

I have just signed up to ladies kickboxing classes. I start on Monday morning.

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MsMartini · 29/11/2019 10:37

OP, that's a really good idea if you feel comfortable with him. And also you won't be so likely to compare yourself with a man (I train with a bloke and it works well). I agree with everyone else - people won't judge you. I am a rather dumpy middle-aged woman who got into exercise quite recently and have had loads of encouragement and help. Don't be afraid to try different gyms till you find one you are comfortable in. Really good luck.

Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 29/11/2019 03:47

I am considering asking my fitness fanatic male friend if he'll take me to the gym with him and show me around and what I'm doing. I will feel ridiculously unfit next to him but he is one of the few people who I can relax with and feel at ease with and he can make me laugh when I'm stressed/anxious/overwhelmed and being autistic thats a big deal and really helpful because if I panic in anyway he knows how to deal with it and calm me down.

OP posts:
Rosepetals30 · 28/11/2019 21:01

^ i should add, it’s in the dark, no one sees you, they watch the instructor . Result

Rosepetals30 · 28/11/2019 21:00

I've no issue going clubbing or dancing

If you weren’t keen on Zumba, look up your local Clubbercise ;) I LOOOOVE IT

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 28/11/2019 20:56

Or I would recommend youtube kettlebell classes, especially bodyfit with amy. Nice short sessions from 10 - 40 minutes.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 28/11/2019 20:55

Re parkrun, there's a couple of things you can do to make it easier.
Check out where your local one is, and just happen to be there one morning. Don't join in, just wander along and see who is there - don't worry about the front runners who zip off at stupid speeds, every parkrun has them. Look for the groups who are jogging and walking, and also look for the tailwalker, who is the person who is the final finisher and makes sure no-one is left behind. I'm sure you'll find people at your level.
If you're not ready to go there, check out the results page on the website for the local race - look at latest results and see how long the final finishers take to do the 5k. Many people are around the hour mark, so you can reassure yourself that you won't be out of place, or at least know what you want to be at before you join in.
And you will get support from all the marshals there, I know, I am one!

Awaywiththepiskies · 28/11/2019 17:27

Just go!

Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 28/11/2019 17:08

@Awaywiththepiskies, I try to eat no more than 900 calories a day. It's a number that I worked out with my dietitian as I'm well below average height and I use the LoseIt app so I can track everything. I weigh my food before cooking it and work it out so I get the right amount of nutrients. Which tbh I'm not getting today but that is mainly because I've not been shopping. I think once I start going I'd go 6 days a week. I'd not do Sunday as on Sunday I'm really busy with Church.

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Awaywiththepiskies · 28/11/2019 16:55

Good luck OP - Other posters are right. No one else cares - I watch other people at the gym, but always in admiration for what they can do.

I enjoy HIIT and lifting heavy stuff, and I know other people look at me & see me as very fit - but we all started somewhere - we all started at the beginning!

You might try so bodyweight style conditioning - there are some good routines on Instagram or YouTube. You can do rounds of push ups, squats, and burpees with just your body weight and in the privacy of your own home.

I couldn't do a push up to save my life 2 years ago, but now I can. I still can't do an unassisted pull up, but I'm working on it.

Mainly - get to the gym 6 days a week and do something there. Just getting there is the point.

But my PT says "You can't out-train a bad diet" so you do need to think about diet. I did it by meticulously tracking everything I ate. I tried to keep to 1500 calories a day with one day which was my "cheat" day. Weigh everything and use an app on your phone to track the calories.

It helps you start make sensible choices.

And - just finishing reading the thread - I am another who LOVES weight training - picking up heavy shit (5 sets of 4 deadlifts of 70kg each, with 2 minute rest gaps). I train quite heavy for my age and I love it. And it makes you strong and lean. And you get rest gaps!

Original poster
ConfusedAndStressed95 · 28/11/2019 16:40

@sweetheart, awesome. I'll write that all down. I probably wont run in my hallway though. My housemates would think I've gone insane or actually drag me to the gym. Once I've more stamina I'll be more confident in weight training.

@whereishappyat, I think once I've gone a couple of times I'll be less self conscious but I need to get there first. I'm very much the person who can't relax enough in a club to dance. I'm just a naturally self conscious and tense person unfortunately. I think I'll likely get a PT right from the start because I think I'll feel less ridiculous when there's someone telling me what to do. Once I've found my feet I'd stop using them though I think because it's a lot of money that I don't really have. The only way I can justify it is that my health is a long term investment.

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whereishappyat · 28/11/2019 16:06

Op I would not be able to drag my feet through the door of a gym through sheer lack of confidence and embarrassment, I'm a size 12/14. I totally get the (irrational) fear. My husband and friends think I'm crazy and no matter how much people tell me nobody gives a shit about what I look like, the feeling in tummy tells me different and I can't get past it. I got a PT 1-1 sessions, was more money than I wanted to pay and I was still embarrassed and shy about giving it my all but without him and the motivation at each session I would have done zero! I got pregnant so stopped but I'm hoping to find another PT in the new year as this is the only thing in my mind that I feel comfortable with - do what makes you feel comfortable not what others expect you to be comfortable with Smile

sweetheart · 28/11/2019 16:03

I bloomin love weight training in the gym! It's my favorite!

For your cardio in that case you could do HIIT sessions at home. start with 20 seconds on / 20 seconds off x 8 and increase to 30 sec on / 30 sec off (do 3 rounds). Do anything in those "on" seconds that gets your heart racing - here are some examples for you (google them if your not sure):-

star jumps / jumping jacks
high knees
toe taps on your stairs
burphee
dancing like a crazy person
twisting jumps
touch the floor and then jump up in the air
lunges
mountain climbers
squats with a jump
punching
run on the spot
shuttle runs along your hallway