My pool, my rules

I want a "fast for a small woman" lane.
My fast is too relative to who's in the pool. I front crawl fairly well so I'm faster than the decent breast strokers in the middle.
I struggle against a pack of splashy men doing an impression of front crawl.

Splashy men must complete a competant technique course before being allowed into a lanes session.

I'm kind. I favour alternating strokes but only do it when there's a lot of space as my speed varies too much on each style.

I am completely on board with the shooting of walkers. And anybody that swims slower than me.

God this makes me appreciate my gym pool which is wierdly Empty at lunchtime

But the men annoy me . The fasts that hang in the medium lane

I'm really bad at swimming and can't do strokes with my head in the water yet

And I can only do one length without stopping to rest.

I don't go in the lanes though, just the 'free swim' area. You still get some arsehole swimming underneath me rather than around me.

I've been surprised at what a good work out Aquafit is, actually... so if it's 'on' when I'm at the pool, I just do it, then go back to swimming.

Please can someone install a cherry picker device in my pool for walkers - that would be genius.

Slow swimmers who swim in the empty fast lane but then don’t move over when it fills up...that was this mornings swim.

My solution was to swim at a quiet hotel pool! Rarely have issues.

The small pool has one proper lane (for fastest person or only length swimmer), then it is accepted that there are two "lanes" next to it for slower swimmers (only once has there been more than 3 people doing lengths when I've been there). Then the other side of pool by the steps and jacuzzi is for walkers, children, floating, handstands and other messing about.

The only problem I have had is when I've gone at the same time as the unofficial aquafit class. They take up all space bar the marked lane.

Bucking crikey that looks cold at the moment! I wish you were closer - I could do with some open water practice but not in the snow!

Weekfour indeed it is! that was a core feature of the design...

I think shooting walkers is a touch harsh - can I suggest a 'cherry picker' machine is installed so that walkers are simply picked up and lifted out of the pool and deposited on the edge? This can be repeated until the message gets through. Swimming pool. SWIMMING.

Bucking your pool is amazing.* I hope it’s too deep for walking.*

Walkers. Personally I’d have them shot.

In fact, I’m more fond of the walkers in the walking dead that I am of walkers in my swimming pool.

we are vvv lucky to have the space; building it ourselves it cost less than 10K and about 2 stone in lost weight each! Anyone who wants a swim in the summer just PM me and we can set it up! (central England just south of Watford)

a few weeks ago :)

me in it not completed though

being built ( the deep rectangle is where we swim, the shallow sides are planted regeneration area)

Ikabod I have a natural swimming pond that I and my DH built ourselves last summer - we didn't finish it until the autumn so I have only been in it twice in its unfinished state. I cannot wait until it warms up this year... I can snot, and sneeze and spit in it, but NO peeing, as it wrecks the eco balance.

Here's some pics for your edification

Cheddar you would get let in the heads-in-water lanes, that's fair enough. I often have a spare pair of goggles anyway so just ask :)

NotARealAvo that's funny :) I discovered the other day that I was apparently in a race with a man... who was so clearly trying to 'beat' me I'm afraid I did rise to the bait. Didn't realise I had another gear...

And men, you are allowed in the slow lane. Just because you have a cock you are not necessarily going to be a fast competent swimmer. Get out.

OP can I join your pool? I've found that open-air pools on rainy days are the only places where you can swim without these irritations BUT it's effin' freezing!

I'm a head out of water person im afraid, strong but not fast swimmer so stick to the slowish lane.

Have to do head out of water though because i have to wear my glasses, can't do contact lenses due to eye condition, can't see people if I don't have my glasses on and have never been able to find prescription goggles that are the right prescription and don't leak or dig in.

This is why I go running instead of swimming. I find it so irritating for the reasons you've listed op!

I don't stand and chat at the end, Rosemary. Am not a saint, but I didn't go to the pool to socialise. I can handle all the rest, but the wall hogging nattering. OMG. Just why ?

Pool looking quite enticing this morning. Better than listening to the roof tiles bouncing around in the wind!!

I've got loads, but I do know they are not reasonable. Anybody who doesn't swim at the same pace as me.

It's a funny thing swimming, we get annoyed with people just doing the same as us.

No one mentioned wee. Take your children , and yourself, before they get in and then shower them. That's so gross i wish i hadn't thought about it. Now scrappy's idea seems great.