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Original poster

Is it gauche to be friendly at exercise classes

40 replies

LadyWithLapdog · 19/08/2017 15:59

After a long gap I've started going again, various classes at various gyms. Why is everyone so unfriendly?! I don't expect a full welcome because I'm new but at least eye contact and smile back. Quite off putting :(

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Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 23/08/2017 14:18

That's you told, now go and do some squats and put on your smiley face :)

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Ecclesiastes · 23/08/2017 08:37

haha, that's me told! I'm still not being all chummy at the gym, though. it'll take more than a MN ticking off to change that.

dementedpixie · 23/08/2017 07:50

I have made so many friends from doing classes. How can you not say hello or smile? I meet up regularly with someone (female!) I first met at a body pump class about 7 years ago. I still go to that class although the instructor had changed now

eurochick · 23/08/2017 06:54

I've never chatted to anyone at an exercise class, or seen anyone do it (unless they already knew one another).

Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 23/08/2017 06:41

Someone's got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning ^^

There are no men at the classes I went to. I'm capable of being polite without flirting or latching on to people. You might notice Ecclesiastes that this is in Exercise, not in AIBU and perhaps adjust your tone for a more considerate discussion.

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Ecclesiastes · 23/08/2017 06:31

Eye contact and s smile cost nothing

Do you want the men at the gym to do this too, OP? Or is it just the women who get the flak for being unfriendly?

Fuck that. I'm not making eye contact and smiling at randoms for no reason. You might latch on to me and want to talk!

tigercub50 · 22/08/2017 23:44

When I was doing karate, there was someone at the advanced class who used to talk all the way through & it was incredibly offputting. I was so glad when she got the next belt up & didn't have to stand next to me anymore! Gym is different as you're not trying to follow instructions but I imagine a lot of people just want to switch off & do their thing. I didn't last long at the gym but when I went, I would exchange pleasantries if someone was next to me then get on with it!

MsMartini · 22/08/2017 23:36

I really like mine - learn new stuff all the time, loads of variety, evyone does it at their level, no need to be co-ordinated. And they last 30 mins!

Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 22/08/2017 23:33

There's a circuit class at lunchtime that I was eyeing. They describe all sorts of equipment on the website (I mean, a ladder?!) and I'm tempted to try it if I get a chance. In fact there are so many new ones since I last went more regularly, no reason to get bored nowadays.

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MsMartini · 22/08/2017 23:24

God no Lady. I would clear the room.😀 They are Grid and boot camp at virgin active - circuits often with two to a station, involves a bit of sorting out who will use which weight and once you get to recognise people you tend to team up. Small classes too. Not saying lots of chat but new people are welcomed and people do usually say hello at least.

Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 22/08/2017 18:57

I'm intrigued about classes where you work in pairs. Ballroom dancing 💃🏼? I'd find that intimidating as I'm not a natural with my feet. Having said that, I have tried out Zumba (I'm convinced the moves and style of music have changed since I last went five years ago) and clubbercise (good fun and the lights are off so I can get my moves mixed up).

Xmas-tree - you get it! And in fairness a few others too :)

I'll be so busy once the kids start their own activities come September that I'll barely have time to worry about this. I'm trying out as many as I can before then so I can see which ones to stick with. I like the dumbells best so far.

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Christmastree43 · 22/08/2017 15:06

Agree OP I'm not 'there to make friends' but also don't see why people think they have to be so rude and exclusive at gyms

Christmastree43 · 22/08/2017 15:05

It varies in my experience - used to go a vair expensive chain gym and they were all horrible snotty cows in the classes there and very cliquey with the instructors. Recently joined my cheap and cheerful local/ independent gym and the ladies are lovely there - lots of fun and friendly laughs but not crossing any lines of overfriendliness!

MsMartini · 22/08/2017 15:02

OP, some people just don't at the gym - it would cost them. Don't take it personally, keep smiling yourself and you will get to know people - I have (but mainly by doing small classes where you often work in twos, no breath for talking but definitely bonding! and chatting in changing room and sauna etc).

Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 22/08/2017 13:45

I'm not going there to make friends. Im going to exercise. But it doesn't have to be joyless. It makes me feel good, not grumpy. Eye contact and a smile costs nothing.

Is everyone using 'gauche'? I was here first! Replace with 'awkward'.

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SuburbanRhonda · 21/08/2017 22:03

What's with everyone using the word "gauche" on here recently?

Ecclesiastes · 21/08/2017 22:02

Sorry OP, I'm another one who goes to the gym to exercise, not to make friends. It's not personal.

Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 21/08/2017 21:57

I don't talk during the class, just before or after. In fact I'd find it annoying to listen to someone during the class e.g. a teacher's pet tonight who always had something to add or comment on.

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thecapitalsunited · 20/08/2017 18:10

Yes, I wouldn't chat to anyone in the middle of the workout but before or after.

Dina1234 · 20/08/2017 15:15

I am always so annoyed to be exercising that I try to ignore others as much as possible,

lljkk · 20/08/2017 15:03

I must admit I'm pretty curt with people who try to chat with me at swimming. FFS, it's £5/session & we're time-limited. I don't go there to chat. I don't even like swimming much so I want to get it over with.

And then interval training (running, also time-limited)... if you have energy to chat then you aren't working hard enough. Fine, but I'm there to work hard & get on to rest of my dad soon afterwards.

MsMartini · 20/08/2017 14:38

I don't think people who go into their own world are unfriendly; it just took me a little while to get used to the zone thing when I started.

OP, you are going to a lot of gyms - if once school holidays are over you can fix a more regular routine, you might find it easier to make not friends exactly, but people to have a chat with, if that is what you'd like? I really enjoy that side of my gym but completely understand it isn't what some people want. Lots of chat in the changing rooms and people recommend different classes - this has really helped me.

Auspiciouspanda · 20/08/2017 14:22

The gym is the only place I don't have to talk to anyone, it's the little bit of time I take per week for me to relax and focus on myself. I probably come off as unfriendly but what can you do.

MsMartini · 20/08/2017 14:19

I agree, I notice some people at my gym who go into a world of their own - I think it is partly what they go for. Others are really friendly - I have just done a class where you pair up and egg each other on and it was exhausting good fun. I like the human contact so pick those sort of classes (bootcamp, grid, circuits, small classes where you often go round in pairs) - maybe you could try that?

Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 19/08/2017 18:27

And thanks all for replying Star

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