Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Elderly parents

Flip

Original poster

Advice on helping blind frail parent in hospital

17 replies

oldtricksnewdog · 20/10/2026 20:22

Mum (in her 90s) has had a minor stroke and has been in hospital since the weekend on a medical assessment ward. Although it’s just a 6-bed side ward it is very busy and noisy.

The issue is that mum is almost completely blind and partially deaf, with early stage dementia. Add that to the effects of the stroke and she is very confused and frightened.

None of the nurses seem to take this into account unless it is for specific 1:1 activities (eg the occupational therapist). No one introduces themselves when talking to her or assisting her. Nurses bounce into the ward talking loudly to the room in general - great for the other patients, but mum doesn’t know who it is or what’s going on.

Even when food is ordered, she isn’t clear when they are talking to her. She was very embarrassed earlier today when explaining to me that the sister of the patient next to her had to help her get undressed for bed because there were no nurses - of course I am sure it was actually a nurse who helped her, but mum didn’t know that.

Is there anything I can do to improve her experience? When I am there I can help her make sense of what is going on, but I can only be there for a couple of hours a day.

OP posts:

MittensTheKittens · 20/10/2026 20:55

Don't assume anyone has read back through your mum's notes, have you implicitly told them that your mum is partially sighted and needs extra support?

Is there a whiteboard behind her bed which gives her name and any additional needs?
Such as hearing, sight (glasses?), extra support eating etc.
Is her sight noted here?

Unfortunately hospitals are noisy, but all staff should be introducing themselves and ensuring they use her name for things like food ordering.

PermanentTemporary · 20/10/2026 21:06

Go and grab the speech therapist and ask them what the team can do - most hospitals have some kind of symbol system at the bed for patients with visual, hearing and cognitive impairments.

Ideally fill in a hospital passport for your mum using something very clear like a sharpie and show the speech therapist and put it at her bedside or if she’s not there thrust it into her nurses’ hand.

PermanentTemporary · 20/10/2026 21:08

Here’s a link to a hospital passport template. If you google ‘hospital passport’ and the NHS Trust name they may have a similar template, tbh most of them are based on the same document.

https://www.ouh.nhs.uk/media/ximfn0rz/hospital-passport.pdf

Original poster

oldtricksnewdog · 20/10/2026 21:15

Yes, I have explicitly told them at least a dozen times. She is registered blind. It’s documented with her GP. I told the ambulance crew and saw them write it down. I told each of the three doctors she saw in A&E, and at least 4 nurses in A&E. And I’ve told at least 4 nurses on the ward. 😟

There is a whiteboard with her name and preferred name, and with a space for her consultants name. Nothing else though.

OP posts:

Original poster

oldtricksnewdog · 20/10/2026 21:18

PermanentTemporary · 20/10/2026 21:08

Here’s a link to a hospital passport template. If you google ‘hospital passport’ and the NHS Trust name they may have a similar template, tbh most of them are based on the same document.

Thank you, I will do that.

When you say “grab the speech therapist” … how? (Genuine question). I haven’t even been able to get any updates about her care or condition. I tried yesterday and today during visiting times and was told no one could update me, and have been asked to phone in tomorrow.

OP posts:

PermanentTemporary · 20/10/2026 21:18

Then ask the therapists how they normally record these needs for patients.

Original poster

oldtricksnewdog · 20/10/2026 21:28

I think I might have missed a trick. One of the nurses in A&E was filling in a form and asked mum a question she didn’t understand. He looked at me, pulled a face, and asked “does she have learning disabilities?”. I replied “no, but she is blind and partially deaf”. Should I have said yes instead?

I didn’t know blindness was a “learning disability” - she has never had any difficulty learning.

OP posts:

MittensTheKittens · 20/10/2026 21:29

oldtricksnewdog · 20/10/2026 21:15

There is a whiteboard with her name and preferred name, and with a space for her consultants name. Nothing else though.

That's really poor.
You should be able to grab a nurse and get an update, even if they've just read what's been added to her notes.

Is she on a 'proper' ward, or an extension to A&E?

I'd be tempted to take my own whiteboard pen a write on it myself.

Ritaskitchen · 20/10/2026 21:37

Stay with her or have a family member with her as much as possible. Unfortunately the NHS is in such a state and staff are so overwhelmed that you have to advocate and someone needs to be there when someone is in hospital.
There is no time or capacity to get to know patients personally unfortunately.

SeaToSki · 20/10/2026 21:43

Take in a white board pen and write blind and deaf on it

Mumof1andacat · 20/10/2026 21:47

I would ask to speak to the ward manager. This is really poor and is a concern for safety and wellbeing too.

Original poster

oldtricksnewdog · 20/10/2026 21:58

Thank you. I will ask to speak to the ward manager tomorrow.

I can only manage to stay with her 2-3 hours per day. The hospital is 2 hours from where I live, they will only let people in during visiting times, and I also have to work.

It is a “medical assessment ward” where people are sent from A&E. ETA although she’s on a 6 bed side ward there are about 8 such side wards making up the larger medical assessment ward.

OP posts:

Original poster

oldtricksnewdog · 20/10/2026 22:00

And that’s a good idea about the whiteboard pen. Even if someone wipes it off it might make them think about where it should be recorded. I’ll do my own version of the hospital passport too.

OP posts:

Hairyfairy01 · 20/10/2026 22:20

I would ask politely to speak with the wards sister / manager to raise your concerns. Ask if her conditions are written on the nursing handover. Speak with her occupational therapist to see if they have any advice. Aim to get her home to her own familiar environment asap and accept any community referrals eg, physio, OT, district nurses etc who can see your mum at home.

Original poster

oldtricksnewdog · 20/10/2026 23:24

Hairyfairy01 · 20/10/2026 22:20

Thank you. Mum doesn’t want to go back home. She very much wants to go to a care home so I am trying to get one lined up for her ASAP.

I will try the other suggestions though.

OP posts:

SylvanMoon · 21/10/2026 08:08

I'm so sorry for this unacceptable situation. I hope you can get her resettled somewhere suitable sooner than later. But why have they got your DM in an assessment ward and not a stroke unit?

PermanentTemporary · 21/10/2026 09:07

Google the hospital name and ‘adult occupational therapy’ and ‘adult speech therapy’ and see if you can find some numbers that way, leave some phone messages saying that your mother has sensory deficits plus cognitive decline and is struggling on the ward.

Alsi try calling PALS for the hospital. See if you can get permission for extended visiting hours (if you want that? The sister can usually give that option especially for someone who is so vulnerable) and again ask about handing over her needs.

No she doesn’t have learning disabilities at all, though the nurse sounds fairly useless so may not have understood what she was asking.

Flip