Has anyone managed to persuade an elderly parent to accept help with the stairs?

My father decided on his own he needed a stairlift. Had it fitted and complained endlessly about how slow it was (it was). Then he went into hospital and was discharged to a nursing home and getting the stairlift removed so the house could be cleared was more of a nightmare than I could have ever imagined! A year or so before the stairlift we thought he needed some grabrails in the bathroom and by the back door so we told him that 'Jean' (who can do no wrong) had some and said how marvellous they were. Cue us putting up grab rails (easy to remove and repair the screw holes too)! You'll probably have to mention things and then wait for them to tell you about the brilliant idea they've had - nobody likes to admit they are getting frail.

I'm looking forward to some answers. My Mum is 79, has got chronic oedema in her legs/feet and needs a hip replacement (that she won't see the GP about). She currently has a crab like gait going up, and often sits on her bottom to come down. When she takes her water tablets in the morning she now has to wait upstairs for a few hours as they go through her system otherwise she can't get up there quickly enough.

Her stairs are too narrow (tiny house) for a stairlift so the only sensible option is moving but she won't hear a word of it. It's going to take a crisis to make her see any sense sadly, and my stepdad just enables her. Sigh.

Yes managed to get a stair lift installed that Mum uses for the laundry basket while she comes down backwards next to it.
It's something I suppose.

I persuaded my mum by telling her various things like:

•‘You obviously don’t need it now - it’s best to have it for when you’re old’ (she was in her 80s then 😂)

•I managed to get a grant from the council so said it needed doing now otherwise would cost her.

•Told her that the grandkids would enjoy it.

• Made her think it was actually her idea.

it was the same thing with installing a wet room and mobility aids and they’ve meant that she’s been able to live in her house in her 90s.

My mum fell backwards down the stairs and broke her collar bone. Hospital for a few days. That changed her mind on getting a stair lift pretty quickly. Very stubborn lady 😐

Yes, I got a second rail installed and told each parent it was for the other one. The stair lift got installed when one of them was in hospital. One of them will use it but the other will not.

My Dad was so very sensible, he downsized to a smaller flat in a small town when he became older and when he fell ill with cancer totally engaged with having to have carers etc. But my Mum is the complete opposite - is the queen of self dosing her medication, often not taking it then falling ill and she has to be at death's door to see her GP. She and my stepdad live a tiny little cottage that's not remotely elderly friendly, are both getting frailer (I've got a nasty feeling my stepdad has got the onset of Parkinson's) and they are both so stubborn to try and talk sense to. I have a feeling that the stairs are going to be the least of my battles.... I'm in awe of those of you who have managed it

It doesn’t help really because dp’s mum is pretty much the dream oldie (physically has some issues but cognitively 100% and almost frighteningly rational and open to ideas) but we booked a private specialist OT assessment of her home. I was partly pulling strings in the background because dp’s sister, though lovely, lives in the US where the setup is different and also is I think quite guilty she’s not around more. She was pushing for a nursing home, based I think on US senior living which is very different - in the UK landscape dp’s mum is frankly miles off needing a home (and doesn’t want to go). The private OT was brilliant and suggested one extra handrail, a review of rugs but nothing else at that stage BUT was so lovely that when dp’s mum started having more falls she rang up and got her back for a review HERSELF and now she’s recommended a stairlift.

TL:DR get a specialist professional to say it for you (and brief them beforehand).

It took some persuading here too!

Mum had a fall. Was hospitalised for several weeks meaning social services got involved on her return home.
They were brilliant and helped so much, but she still resisted a stair rail.

We did eventually persuade her to accept it as there was a deadline when they would install it free of charge.
And of course once it was in place she realised how useful it was.