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Elderly parents

On holiday with 82 year old mum

28 replies

roastednuts123 · 10/10/2026 13:16

I just need to write this down somewhere and any words of support most welcome! In April we lost my step dad (her husband of 45 years) and I wanted to give her something to look forward to so we booked this trip. It’s only a week but it’s the first time I’ve been away with my
mum in a long time. I don’t naturally enjoy her company, at all, she’s very negative and has some cognitive decline so repeats herself all the time. Seems to have limited short term memory. Trouble is she refuses to believe she’s in her 80s. She’s had filler done recently (thank goodness it’s relatively natural looking) and I feel embarrassed that she’s doing this sort of thing at her age.
Realise she’s only recently lost her husband but their relationship was toxic beyond belief - honestly felt uncomfortable in their presence for more than a few minutes because they were so nasty and unpleasant to each other. So I struggle with the grieving and love of my life conversations but obviously I nod along and say all the right things.
Anyway weve only been away 24 hours and all she has talked about is her neighbours and her limited activities at home. I’ve tried to say things but she can’t hear properly (and refuses to wear hearing aids). I’m at my wits end already and typing this quickly because obviously being on my phone is frowned upon. I’ve realised the memory issues may have wider implications and without saying too much we are talking some hygiene issues which I’ve just had to clean up in the bathroom…. I’m sure she’ll fall over this week as she’s stumbled a few times already. It’s like being on holiday with a toddler. Sorry please just pity me a bit 😩

OP posts:
Sherararara · 10/10/2026 13:23

Sorry but going away with an 82 yo parent has disaster written all over it.

emuloc · 10/10/2026 13:21

Sounds hard. Is she finding any enjoyment being away though, or finding things hard, due to grief?

roastednuts123 · 10/10/2026 13:19

I realise reading it back it sounds horribly judgy and mean - she wasn’t a great mum and it’s not the cognitive decline that makes her bad company (well obviously it doesn’t help) she’s just never been a nice person to be around at all. She has no friends as she’s never made the effort. Just seems to dislike most people. I do love her though, in that weird way you love your Mum?!

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