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Elderly parents

No eating

64 replies

NotTooOldPaul · 04/10/2026 17:22

Not about a parent but I thought this was the best place to post this.
I help to look after a lady who I hesitate to call elderly as she is only 79. I cook most of her meals, she has carers who do her personal care.
I’ve noticed a decline in her ability to remember stuff, I mean what day it is and similar, she also tells me the same stories about her youth time and time again. She spends all her days sitting watching TV or just sitting if she forgets to put on the TV
She does not eat a lot but these last couple of days have been ridiculous. Yesterday (Saturday) she had half a slice of toast for breakfast and half a sandwich for lunch, today she has eaten nothing.
She has a painful abscess at the top of her leg and is taking antibiotics and painkillers for this.
Someone suggested to me that this lack of eating might be a sign that she does not have long left to live, if that is so I need to try to tell her sister (her only blood relative) who lives 300 miles away and is not well herself.
I’m just wondering how serious this lack of wanting to eat anything is. I’d appreciate any advice.
I have suggested A&E or out of hours doctor, but she refuses these ideas.

OP posts:
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MysterOfwomanY · 20/10/2026 10:03

@NotTooOldPaul I am so sorry.

NotTooOldPaul · 15/10/2026 07:32

mathanxiety · 15/10/2026 02:27

So sorry for your loss, @NotTooOldPaul

I hope you can feel some comfort from knowing your dear wife had such a peaceful end. You did your very best for her.

Thanks, I am so pleased that I was with her and I am certain that she did not suffer.

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mumumental · 15/10/2026 04:24

Sorry for your loss.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 15/10/2026 02:37

I'm so sorry, Paul.
I'm glad it was peaceful though.

mathanxiety · 15/10/2026 02:27

So sorry for your loss, @NotTooOldPaul

I hope you can feel some comfort from knowing your dear wife had such a peaceful end. You did your very best for her.

IAmNotMyJobTitle · 14/10/2026 18:44

Sorry for your loss, Paul. It’s clear from your posts that she was very loved and cared for. I’m glad she had a peaceful passing. 💐

ApolloandDaphne · 14/10/2026 06:44

I'm so sorry for your loss. You can be sure she knew she was loved.

PeggySusan · 13/10/2026 23:07

So sorry for your loss

Nightmanagerfan · 13/10/2026 22:54

I’m so sorry to hear of your huge loss. Allow people to look after you and allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you need. I’m sure you will really miss her Flowers

Username193755 · 13/10/2026 20:50

I'm so very sorry for your loss. May strength and memories carry you through the next few days and weeks.

Lizzieregina · 13/10/2026 20:41

I’m so sorry for your loss Paul 💐

CarrieMoonbeams · 13/10/2026 20:30

What a sad update Paul, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thistooshallpsss · 13/10/2026 19:55

My heart goes out to you Paul. As someone who is recently bereaved myself all I can say is treasure your memories and let your loved ones love and support you. X

MyDadIsTheGreatest · 13/10/2026 19:53

So sorry to hear that news, Paul.

Luluco · 13/10/2026 19:49

So sorry to hear this Paul.

WearyAuldWumman · 13/10/2026 19:41

I'm thankful that you were able to be there Paul. Thinking of you.

Inextremis · 13/10/2026 19:37

I am so very sorry for your loss.

WearyAuldWumman · 13/10/2026 19:36

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NotTooOldPaul · 13/10/2026 19:30

My wife died peacefully half an hour ago, I am pleased I was with her.

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AprillyJill · 11/10/2026 19:34

Thinking of you and your family @NotTooOldPaul and wishing you all a loving and peaceful time as much as that is possible. 🌸🌸🌸

ChaChaChaChanges · 11/10/2026 19:34

Oh, Paul. I’m so sorry to read your updates.

I hope it’s a comfort to you that you sought help for your wife early on in her journey.

You wife does indeed sound very peaceful, and your love for her shines out of your posts. I’m sure she can feel it surround her. No doubt you’re still very handsome to her too.

Wonderknicks · 11/10/2026 19:30

@seahorsessky have you read the thread? Unbelievable.
OP, my thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

seahorsessky · 11/10/2026 19:27

In my town the average age of death is 73.1, so I wouldn't exactly call 79 not elderly!
Yes, I know some people are doing martial arts at that age, but the point is, she should surely qualify for elder care, and the council/hr family should get involved.

NotTooOldPaul · 11/10/2026 19:24

mathanxiety · 11/10/2026 19:20

Thinking about you and your wife and family.

I do hope the visitors will look after you too.

My son messaged me earlier and brought me food from Greg's. I am being looked after.

My wife looks as if she is sleeping. She has not spoken since Wednesday. She looks peaceful and is still beautiful to me

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mathanxiety · 11/10/2026 19:20

Thinking about you and your wife and family.

I do hope the visitors will look after you too.