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Elderly parents
Original poster

What do you think helps people to age well?

166 replies

Fraudornot · 03/10/2026 21:38

We are dealing with elderly people in their 80s - is decline inevitable or do you think there are things we can do to live a healthy very older age? Mobility and strength seems key but can it be maintained into 80s and 90s?

OP posts:
Frenchjamisbest · 06/10/2026 22:19

Drinking lots of water. Minimal or no alcohol. Cutting out sugar and processed foods. No fizzy drinks. Healthy meals in moderation. Walking daily. A positive attitude. Learning something new all the time. Gardening and fresh air. Organic food where possible and lots of fresh fruit and veg. Not eating meat. I have noticed vegetarians seem to age a lot better if their diet is good. Dancing or yoga.

HushTheNoise · 07/10/2026 10:21

Friends dad is 91. A glass of buckfast everyday and a fried breakfast is keeping him going. I assume it's good genes.

plumbingprob · 07/10/2026 10:32

My Nanna walked 2 miles a day up until she was mid 80s, she danced and she kept her mind active with puzzles and read a lot. Unfortunately dementia took hold when she was in her 90s but she had a good active retirement and enjoyed every minute. Staying active and socialising whilst also challenging the brain seemed to work for her.

MidnightMeltdown · 07/10/2026 10:42

drolldrill · 04/10/2026 16:33

I think that’s only if you are very tall. The Netherlands has a slightly longer life expectancy than us & they are also taller than us.

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I think it’s a correlation. It’s got something to do with the fact that the taller you are, the more cells you have, and the more they have to replicate, so it’s harder to repair tissue, and you’re more exposed to free radicals etc. Shorter people with fewer cells are more resistant to cancer.

Of course there are lots of other factors. People in the Netherlands are probably thinner than us and live healthier lifestyles!

MidnightMeltdown · 07/10/2026 10:51

HappyViewer · 04/10/2026 16:21

Is that a thing?

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Yes, it’s got something to do with the fact that shorter people have fewer cells and lower risk of cancer.

HappyViewer · 07/10/2026 11:06

MidnightMeltdown · 07/10/2026 10:51

Yes, it’s got something to do with the fact that shorter people have fewer cells and lower risk of cancer.

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Taller people have less heart disease.

ohtowinthelottery · 07/10/2026 11:33

MIL is 98 (and a half) and still lives independently in a house. She has always been a walker and a gardener - including growing her own fruit and veg (although that's reduced a lot now). She is also computer literate which helps massively with her ability to live independently. She maintains an enthusiastic interest in current affairs and listens to podcasts. Alcohol (moderate but regular intake) has always been part of her life.

Frenchjamisbest · 07/10/2026 12:10

I think being happy is actually one of the most important things. Also having social connections.

SirenScream · 07/10/2026 12:12

Decline is inevitable, lifestyle and luck will influence the rate of decline.

IzzyGone · 07/10/2026 12:14

Weights, weight bearing exercises, show over and over again building muscle and retaining muscles wards of frailty

Additup · 07/10/2026 12:45

I think it's mainly good genes and good luck as well as keeping active and busy, not abusing your body with too much with alcohol, drugs, tobacco, upf etc but mainly good genes imo. My grandma lived until 99 with no exercise and a pretty curmudgeonly attitude to life. She never smoked but ate and drank what she liked and she liked a tipple.

Even the Dr who did her PM surmised she had some great genes (after they killed her on the Liverpool pathway which took ages).

Hatepancakes · 07/10/2026 13:52

Most of it is down to genetics, but apart from that, keeping the mind sharp by doing things like crosswords, learning a foreign language, and some form of exercise. Every little bit helps. Although having said that, at age 73 I often struggle to find the right word for something.

LonelySunday · 07/10/2026 14:06

ExOptimist · 03/10/2026 21:55

Of course mobility and strength can be maintained into the 80s and 90s but people have to make an effort. My mother is 89, widowed 5 years ago.

She lives alone in her 5 bed house with large garden which she maintains herself, she gardens most days and doesn't have a cleaner. She climbs ladders, prunes trees. She cooks from scratch, eats 3 healthy meals a day, 1 glass of wine a day. She walks 2 miles every morning, rain or shine.

She also believes that people should make themselves continue to do things for themselves and that once you start sitting down and getting other people in to do things then the decline starts. There may be something in that.

This is my mother too. She's just turned 90. My Dad died just before Christmas 2021 and I was worried that she would just grind to a halt. She does her own cleaning (I've offered help but she refused) and gardens each day, although she does have someone who comes to cut the grass. She can still do the Telegraph cryptic crossword in less than 30 minutes, and does more exercise via her gardening most days than I do. Her mantra is "use it or lose it".

Original poster
Fraudornot · 07/10/2026 19:17

Gardening is coming up so much - maybe it’s a natural way of strength training - squatting, using your arms with tools etc

OP posts:
Frenchjamisbest · 07/10/2026 19:28

Fraudornot · 07/10/2026 19:17

Gardening is coming up so much - maybe it’s a natural way of strength training - squatting, using your arms with tools etc

I think its also contact with nature, growing things.

ExOptimist · 07/10/2026 19:30

Fraudornot · 07/10/2026 19:17

Gardening is coming up so much - maybe it’s a natural way of strength training - squatting, using your arms with tools etc

Yes it's very good exercise. But it has to be proper gardening, not just a bit of deadheading of pots you bought ready planted at the garden centre.

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