What do you think helps people to age well?

My godmother is 89, walks daily, has always kept a pet, cooks and eats home cooked food, healthy weight, sees friends, chats on the phone all the time. Doesn’t drink and gave up smoking decades ago. Shows no sign of decline thankfully.

My mum, had a really busy, active healthy retirement. Travelled the world well into her 70s, ate well, healthy weight, played badminton, did ballroom dancing, active role in her grandkids life, very sociable. Didn’t drink and gave up smoking decades ago…then was struck Alzheimer’s at 75, rapid decline, died at 79.

So…luck to a degree. Doing all the right things doesn’t guarantee life beyond your 80s. Doing all the wrong things doesn’t guarantee early decline, but you’ve got to do what you can to stack the odds in your favour.

Keeping busy and having a purpose is what I’ve noticed. My own parents aged 10-15 years after retirement as they didn’t do much, my mum doesn’t like exercising or walking.

I knew someone live to 100 they were active / picking up grand kids from school and still walking loads aged 70.

Met a lovely lady in costa and she had plans every day which she said kept her young.

I think daily exercise and something social to keep your mind processing

My aunt told me she was very happy they decided to keep their large family home with stairs. She said for those friends that had downsized to bungalows, now really struggled with any stairs when out and about as they’d simply lost the ability. It really made me think.

My grandmother aged very well as she was so active daily. Not in the traditional exercise sense but always went out walking, got out at least once a day, did her own housework, cleaned her own windows inside and out etc and generally puttered around and led a very active and full life.

Genetics, followed by excellent childhood nutrition and a life with limited trauma.

Some people who were in concentration camps or survived active service in both World Wars have stayed alert and active into their 90s but they really are anomalies. Someone who was born into an impoverished family, then went on to heavy factory work and/or birthed & raised many children in difficult circumstances, is far more likely to decline in late middle age and die in early old age.

The socialising thing is interesting!

I have a very elderly aunt who has just turned ninety who lives to garden and paint with oils.

She absolutely loathes socialising 😆

She has only just agreed to having a cleaner come twice a week and that’s only because she doesn’t chat and will go in to town on her behalf and buy more painting supplies, again so she can avoid the interaction in the shop!

I think these are spot on and can stack your chances of living healthily and well.

That said, I don't think there's any way you can always outrun your genes, and I've also noticed that once people get to mid-eighties, they often plummet fairly rapidly into increasing frailty or cognitive decline or both, even if they were bounding around in their early eighties. By 90 odd, your chance of having dementia and/or mobility issues is pretty high, even if there are exceptions to this rule. My gran was up ladders at 82; by 86, she seemed far older than just four years on, and it was a bit downhill at that point.

I play tennis and pickleball. There are women in their 80s still playing most days. Even playing in league matches in the teams. They’re pretty inspirational. Hoping I’m still playing at their ages.

I think the physical mental and social aspects of racket sports are very beneficial as people age.

Genetics are the base of longevity (thinks of someone I know from exercise class who looks the same as he did 30 years ago and is still doing full press ups in his 80s) but you can't go back in time and pick new parents!

That aside, exercise, socialising, sleep and a good diet don't hurt.

Making an effort to enjoy what you do have is never going to be bad, though, is it!

Luck.
My mother walked, swam, lifted weights, played sport, worked in a physical job until 65. She was active in the community, volunteering etc. Speaks two languages.
She was always a healthy weight and ate a good diet, didn’t smoke.

Didn’t stop her acquiring a brain condition which affected her mobility and memory and getting Alzheimer’s on top.

Three things help:
Not getting ill from cancer/heart disease/dementia or other life limiting disease
Being physically active and maintaining a healthy weight
Bring engaged with family/community.

A lot of its pure genetic luck.

Otherwise I'd say people who are chilled out, take things slowly, lack anxiety tend to continue onwards for a long time.

Also as pp have said, very determined people also can live a long time. By that i mean they have a system, they do exercises (often self-devised) daily to keep themselves in shape.

I spent a week with my 97 year old aunt in her sheltered accommodation earlier this year. I had lunch with her other elderly resident friends regularly too and it made me reflect on why she was aging so particularly ‘well’. Here are my thoughts:
Life long dancer and still doing exercise classes

speaks 3 languages and regularly practices them

mainly vegetarian, high fibre diet

but mostly, a curious mind and a general optimism. Curious about others and the world and a readiness to laugh even when the shit hits the fan.

It's genetics and luck, I reckon.

My DF's nursing home is full of elderly people who lived full lives - well educated, fit, good diets, sporty, well-travelled etc. Now either physically frail or even worse, physically fit but lost to dementia.

Definitely walking and swimming and gentle to medium exercise, preferably at least one of them daily. I am fitter than my DH by a country mile, as I walk 3 to 4 miles a day - fast walking, and can easily scale 130-140 stairs without even getting out of breath. He can't tackle 25 stairs without stopping for 5 minutes as he's out of puff.

I am very active - walking, swimming, doing all the household chores and shopping and gardening. DH's favourite pastimes are sitting on the computer and watching TV. He sleeps about 30% more hours than me too. He works 28 hours in a very sedentary job. Just sits down for 90% of the time there. My job only involves sitting for half of the 18 to 20 hours a week I do.

Regular exercise in older people (50 and older) is essential for good ageing, and not being immobile by the time you are 70.

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Socialisation is such a huge thing to keep mind and body active. My mum embraced infirmity 15 years ago after a hip replacement and used it as an excuse to never go out, as she found any form of social interaction difficult. Now, widowed at 83, despite being perfectly healthy, it’s meant she is totally reliant on me for everything as stepping outside her front door, or interacting with anyone terrifies her.

It’s taught me to make sure I keep my mind as well as my body working. Work and a sense of purpose is super important, but puzzles, language learning, reading, and being around people is so important.

I don’t know what the answer is but my family all work well into their 80’s my Dad had 9 siblings, lost one brother at 87. The rest are going strong from 88 - 73. From a farming background but not all farmers now, but even the non farmers work 7 days a week. Also they all seem to really like their work.

My family seems to live long lives but dementia is the main thing in mine. No history of heart issues, cancer etc

my dad - eats fuck all fruit and veg, seems to survive off meat, carbs and gin. No formal exercise but is always doing DIY and “helping the elderly” with gardening etc (the elderly being 2 years older than him) has never smoked, is on no medication and looks a decade younger. Thinks SPF is for abroad and has been seen to wash his face with swarfega
the GP said if he was as fit as him in retirement he would be a happy man

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2026/jan/29/long-life-age-health-genetics-science-research

I thought the majority of it was genetics?

Accepting that their body is changing, and using assistance to deal with that well. My elderly relatives who moved to a bungalow/bought a mobility scooter/used a rolerator (zimmer frame with wheels) had a much better time of their later years than those who became housebound and isolated (see also using hearing aids).

My mil is in 80s. She is just starting to get physical frail. But (aside from luck ) what I think has kept her stay happy and healthy is :

1. Maintaining friendships and having an active social life - she has a large family so that helps too

2. working until she was 73- was working In a gift shop but she loved it.Only a few days a week but she walked there and back (got 30 mins) and the contact kept her mind going. Sh e reads a lot too.

.3) she avoids the doctor. She occasionally takes her statins and. A few paracetamol for back pain. That's it. my mum and dad who are younger basically live at the g.p. Constantly getting tests and finding more things to take pills for. My dad is on something like 10 pills a day.

4. being fit before old age but not super so. She walked everywhere and was active and a normal weight. She wasn't playing contact sports or overdoing it.

5. positive attitude. She is handling her rescued mobility with a real stoicism and acceptance z just says ' it could be so much worse' Her husband died a long time ago so I think she's grateful for life.

6. she is content and does not have regrets. She's been a happy person and is satisfied with her life. She's fun to be around.

My parents are younger but not in great shape. My dad was very sporty and has arthritis as a result. He also has early Alzheimer's. . We can't know for sure but there is evidence that not looking after hearing and being socially isolated can contribute to this . He hasn't got any friends . His life was work.
and he sort of gave up since he retired. .

my mum was never overweight but she was sedentary. She don't keep herself active. She is more social than my dad to her credit and has worked hard to get friends in her area. But my dad and her don't get on and I think his lack of desire to socialise or do anything is very hard for her . She's a very intelligent academic and I think she could really do with using her mind more.

She has osteoporosis and has had cancer. Luckily the cancer was operable. . I think her mental state is a bit unstable. She's dealing with dads Alzheimer's rok which is very hard for her. So becoming I carer is a transition that will have a huge effect on the

I must admit this has been my experience too. Both of my in-laws were very overweight and smoked and neither exercised and they were both in their late eighties when they died. They also boiled their vegetables to death!

No rhyme of reason to it. Grandma lived until 100 and survived the potatoe famine in Ireland. Nan lived until 90 despite heavy psych meds and a 20 a day habit 🚬 . Mixture of processed and non processed foods. Massively stressful lives full of trauma. Zero alcohol though.