What do you think helps people to age well?

Being sociable - church, U3A, family. Embracing technology. Singing. Doing puzzles. Walking.

My friend is an OT and she recommends NOT getting a bungalow as going up and down stairs is important to balance and movement. Obviously there may be a time when it's impossible then get a stair lift but don't move to a bungalow when you can still do stairs.

Minimal recklessness.
Everything in moderation.
Having something to live for.

To add, I also teach exercise classes and have an 88 year-old woman in one of my classes. It’s a regular fitness class, not over 50s or beginners. I also have a participant in his 70s who has Parkinson’s. He lifts heavy weights and does yoga- he’s absolutely amazing and his Drs are very encouraging of his exercise efforts as they believe this will be a big help for him as his disease progresses. It’s a cliche but ‘Use it or Lose it’ is very true.

@AwksButI don’t think you assign the desire to be alive as a factor in when people die. It’s fairly offensive to suggest those who have died young/younger did so because they weren’t bothered about living longer.

Totally agree re making yourself do as much as you can, even when it gets harder. Some of my work involves older people and those who are still doing what they can (even when it’s painful) are fairing much better overall than those who have given up and decided they are ‘too old’ to do XYZ. Once in their 80s, the majority of people will have at least some pain and health issues, the majority will be on some sort of medication. But those who still cook for themselves, walk their dog, use the stairs in their home are overall doing much better than those who are in a chair most of the time.

Has avoiding refined sugar been added?

My mum lived to 97 and her mind was sharp as a tack until the end. She lived frugally: bread and cheese, fish and veg. Little alcohol and no sweets) sugary stuff apart from ( homemade) marmalade.

She also had strong church family relationships and read the Bible every day. It's only just occurred to me that trying to convince people to become Christians was probably what kept her going for so long!

Engaged in your community, physically and mentally active, don’t smoke, keep your alcohol intake to once a week or less, eat simple food and don’t chuck a ton of salt onto it, don’t haunt or avoid doctors, see your dentist.

It's mostly genetics and luck

I work with all adults over the age of 18 but mostly older people and work with many people well into their 80s and 90s who are heavy smokers or drinkers and still going strong, and also many who pass away in their 70s despite having the same issues.

I can also work woth younger people in their 40s 50s and 60s with primary progressive MS, MND or who have had massive strokes despite being non drinkers/non smokers or marathon runners/ Sunday rugby players.

I would say though overdoing anything too much (whether that's food/alcohol or exercise) usually impacts on life quality eventually down the line but not necessarily always on life quantity.

We don't get many people living long lives if their issue is street drug use though, that's the one exception to the genetics/luck rule.

My dad went to the gym twice a week until 88 when COVID hit. He never got back again. My mum died in 2022 and he lost loads of weight then he put it back on and was pretty active but stopped gardening.

He then developed epilepsy out of the blue at 92 and is getting frailer.

A care of the elderly doctor said that these octo and Nono generians are great until they're not great. Things can happen quickly and unexpectedly. Dad's 94 now and still living independently at home. But quite frail and doesn't really go out alone now.

Keeping up social interactions with others. My mum was active when younger, but not so much in her 80s, but she lived to be 93. She maintained a circle of friends (of all ages) and organised and participated in lots of social functions with them.

My mum is 87, walks for an hour or much more if she has company, every day, reads novels in English and her native language, pays attention to world events, has a house with two flights of stairs (as a PP said, it’s vital to keep climbing stairs. My mum advised us not to downsize to a bungalow, as all her friends who had had lost mobility.) When she sees our toddler grandson, she plays with him, kicks a ball around. She eats frugally (is actually a bit too thin now), rarely drinks alcohol. she is fit as a flea, a little cognitively impaired and going deaf, but otherwise independent.
I compare her to my brother and SIL, in their sixties, who drink a lot, smoke cigs and dope all day, and do no exercise whatsoever. My SIL had a heart attack 6 years ago, but has not changed her lifestyle (e.g. lights up first thing, starts on the red wine at midday), my brother is heading that way. They may live a long life too, thanks to NHS medication, but what a life it would be in comparison to our mother’s. They cannot walk half a mile to the local pub without gasping (and they don’t want to go anyway, because you would have to go outside to smoke).
It’s not just about longevity, it is about good quality of life too.

I have DPs and ILs in their 80s and I would say from my observations of how they are aging there are three four things that are really important:

• regular exercise
• regular social interaction
• remaining engaged/interested in life and what is going on in the world
• ETA keeping on top of health problems and getting treatment where necessary.

Being fit and active for the majority of your adult life, with a dusting of good genes. You can’t usually outrun a bad diet or laziness.

I imagine for women taking hrt as well, not just for bone health, but it reduces brain fog etc.

I line dance with many older ladies, some of them nearing 90, they are a little slower and their movements are smaller but they keep going, even to some of the really fast dances too.

A couple of them have had hip and knee operations as well.

They're brilliant! Hope I'm that good at their age.

Thinking and planning ahead. Swallowing your pride, being realistic. Downsizing, buying in help and care as needed, adding adaptations to the home etc, and doing it all in good time rather than waiting until it’s a struggle!
As an ex district nurse, I’ve seen so many hospital admissions caused by preventable falls or unsafe living.
Ageing and its associated frailties are not a surprise.
Keep active and don’t smoke.

I think it's the boring basics that underpin a long life. Walking, enough sleep, being social, learning new things, good nutrition. Having said that genetics can undercut all your best efforts. As can random acts the universe throws at us.

We have a couple of octogenarians who run at our ParkRun. They jog round together, not much faster than walking pace but they both seem to be fit as fleas and mentally very sharp. And definitely still enjoying life.

They are a great inspiration.

Also wanted to add to 'lots of exercise' as I said earlier A few other ways to age better....

Socialising/getting involved in hobby groups, or at least having a hobby even if you do it alone. And yes, travelling, even if it's only within the UK/going on daytrips, short days out...

And giving up alcohol. I loved a drink, and could easily drink a whole bottle of wine in one sitting, and then half another bottle after, and I felt so ill after it. I gave it up (booze) 2 years ago, and don't miss it one bit. It helps that DH is sober too. He has been for 5 years. He was a heavy drinker. Not actually an alcoholic, and would go without booze OK for a few weeks, but when he did drink it would be a lot. He had to give it up for a specific health reason.

And obviously try to not be too fat. Carrying a bit of weight won't hurt anyone, but anything more than 3 and a half stone overweight and you're going to start to have health problems related to it.

My parents died at 84 & 92 so not young, within 16 months of each other. But my mother especially had no hobbies or interests when she retired at 60. They loved to travel, so Far East twice a year which was great. Other than that my mother loved shopping, going out for lunch & gossiping about people. Her life became very small as really she didn’t exercise her brain at all. She’d been a teacher. Her eventual descent into Alzheimer’s seemed inevitable when I think about it now and she dragged Dad down with her. He stopped playing golf and snooker to attend to her every whim when she wouldn’t get out of bed long before she couldn’t. So I think it’s important to exercise your mind as well as your body. And I won’t retire early. My work keeps me energised.

Absolutely agree re the sitting. My mother started to sit and make other people to do things for her when she was in her early 50s, she was sadly old before her time.

Luck. And genes (which is also luck I guess).

My mum is 82 and only starting to slow down. My dad died about 20 years ago and she’s done a brilliant job of making a full life. She worked until 76, 5 days a week, she only retired as she was made redundant in Covid as the company closed.

She has a massively active social life, structured around church, bingo, dancing and has always been vain, so has watched her weight her whole life, but has always been more ‘sturdy’ than slim. She walks every day with her neighbour and gets the local free newspaper for ‘the old people’ on her road. She’s never been a smoker and has the odd glass of wine.

In many ways she is my inspiration of how I would like to age but she does have a tendency toward pneumonia, she has had it at least 6 times and been hospitalised once for it. She has a bit of health anxiety, she’s always getting something looked at and it’s always a cancer fire drill (throat, breast, kidney, skin are the ones lately) but she is on no medication and looks about 10 years younger. I think it’s hard not to obsess about your health as you get older though, so I try to be understanding without taking any new ‘symptom’ too seriously.

She comes from a line of long living women, who all smoked and drank and had difficult lives and lived well into the 90s. I am hoping that’s going to counteract my dad’s dodgy genes - he was 1 of 8 and all but 2 died before 60, my dad made it to 62. I’ve got 1 uncles still going. I think it’s luck and you can get a bit luckier by staying fit and active and eating reasonably well.

Yep, luck. The older you get, the clearer this becomes, as your family and friends are picked off at random.

I agree with pp that there's a lot of luck involved. My overweight grandma lived to 91 and was in pretty good shape until the last year or so. Out of my parents' siblings and their partners, the first to die was my aunt who had a very healthy diet and taught yoga!

Having said that, I agree that lots of walking and keeping up with their interests has worked very well for my parents.