What do you think helps people to age well?

Not many people can say they have an 83 year old DC.

Keeping active and mixing with people with a positive attitude.

DH’s granny is 104. She has always been a glass half full person and always had a proper busy schedule. Trying to visit her when she was in sheltered housing (in her 90s) was murder as she had dancing, French classes, bingo and all sorts on her schedule 😂

She has only recently reluctantly given up walking to the shop on a Tuesday and Thursday, but still insists on going in a wheelchair (much to the care home manager’s irritation). She says as soon as you stop going outside properly and having something different to talk about you’ll soon be in your box.

I also think a decent GP who doesn’t just put everything down to old age is a major help.

The difference between her and her eldest daughter (who is 83) is really stark. Her daughter has had no social life since her husband died when she was 67 (she refused to go without him). She lives on daytime tv and only socialises with a neighbour who also doesn’t do anything or go anywhere.

my late gf was 98, he had a huge garden which he maintained all alone. He had only been in hospital twice in his entire.My uncle now has the place, and is almost 90..I had a cousin on dm side die 2 years ago. Both were none smokers and drinkers.. She was sociable..Widowed 25 years,had a gentleman friend. Had her hair done weekly. went to Bridge, crossword clubs.
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Find the right balance between doing as much as you can for as long as you can, and accepting it when you actually can't. Denying that you can't cope with the giant old decaying house (or whatever) any more will not do you any good, it will just make old age more hard and stressful. Downsize or get help when you need to.

My mother is 78 and out and about with friends and hobbies ever day. I'm glad she has a gardener (big garden, arthritic hands). I got a couple of bags and cases down from the loft and persuaded her to keep them downstairs (I don't want her up the loft hatch when there's nobody else in the house). She does all her own cleaning and walks the dog etc. I think this is the way to do it. Keep doing what you can but don't become one of those "don't interfere, we can manage" people when actually the wheels are coming off. And FFS, if you have money, stop bloody hoarding it (for what? The thing that comes after old age??) and spend it on stuff to make life easier.

Is that a thing?

Genes

I think being on the shorter side helps. Taller people tend to die younger. Physical activity and social interaction are also important.

OK until you become immobile due to an accident etc and suddenly find you can't get upstairs to the bedroom or bathroom.

Stairs!
DM moved house when she was 78. A friend of hers, retired GP told her, whatever she did, not to buy a bungalow. She said three quarters of her patients over 70 presented with symptoms they wouldn’t have if they just used stairs a few times a day. DM has 3 flights of stairs and doing well.

But that applies to health generally. My DH was fit and healthy, never smoked nor drank, healthy weight, plenty of exercise and was struck down with cancer in his early 50s. What people can do is increase their probability of not being struck down with anything, but there are never any guarantees.

I agree, my in laws are in their 80s and have had a stair lift fitted, they don't move as much just sit and watch tv, maybe wander to the kitchen now and then but that's not really what I call moving a great deal. The GP has told my in laws they need to keep using their leg muscles because they're starting to waste away (muscle atrophy) but they've not listened to him one bit...

My dad died last year at 95. He was happily cycling into the countryside to photograph wildlife until he was about 86. He only became very frail for the last 2 years.
I think it was:

Naturally moderate habits. He quit smoking at about 35 and never over-ate or over-drank.

Very regular low-impact exercise. He cycled 8 miles to and from work for decades. After retirement he frequently cycled and walked.

Mental acuity. He was still reading weighty tomes on WW2 history well into his 90s.

Luck.

The one thing that unites the 2 oldest lived people in my family (mid 90s in one case, mid 90s and still counting in another) is a positive mental attitude.

Depends on the type of dancing. I’ve known ballet dancers with broken bodies in their 40s!

A lot of it is luck, my DM swam daily, did yoga, sudoku, read, had lots of friends, was slim and always ate really well , travelled a lot and often went on adventures on her own and then got vascular dementia at 65 or more likely before then.

I think by the time you reach your 70s and 80s, it's late to change lifestyle factors, i.e. a bit late to stop smoking, take regular exercise, avoid heavy drinking, avoid drugs, and maintain healthy eating/weight. The damage will mostly have been done.

But, if otherwise fit and well going into old age, things like daily/regular walking, keeping the mind active (even if simple things like crosswords, jigsaws, etc), keeping up with current affairs, i.e. reading a decent newspaper and/or watching the news, going to physical shops/library regularly, just for social interaction, joining clubs/societies, generally keeping an interest in "real life".

Basically anything to stop the "stagnation" that can so easily happen when someone has little to do, and where one day of "snoozing" and doing very little, quickly turns into 2,3,4 days, then a week, then two weeks, etc.

@kxeil I think that’s a big downside of living into your 90s

“Some of them outlived their dc which hastened their decline.”

So sad.

There's a lot of good stuff here but also attitude, there's been a lot of study of longevity recently and one of the things I found surprising was the finding that how we think about aging makes a big difference. There are people who slow down and 'rest' earlier than they need to and suffer a decline because of it - 'use it or lose it' becomes more and more important as you get older.

It's quite old now (1979) but Ellen Langer's Counter Clockwise study (Harvard) is absolutely fascinating and the newer studies are from from Becca Levy’s Yale group.

In our family out of the relatives who lived well into their 90s (one almost got to 100) the women never worked, 2 were overweight and enjoyed cake, 2 lived in assisted living so hasn’t used stairs for years. Not one of them ever stepped inside a gym & I don’t think many even learned to swim but they did all enjoy walking. All drank alcohol but not loads, no second languages but did socialise/go to church. 2 sat in a chair watching tv a lot. No dementia & 5 of them died of “old age” & one developed cancer in his 90s (he was a smoke for years but it wasn’t a smoking related cancer).

Some of them outlived their dc which hastened their decline.

Get into road cycling. It will give you at least another 10 years and better on the knees

People in my family live well into their 90s or die at about 70. The main things I noticed with my relatives who lived long lives (and maintained decent independence) was that they walked a lot, had community, and had regular commitments (social and also work).

Everyone in my family who has lived a long time has been a walker and or had a very physical job. My grandad used to insist on walking round the perimeter of his farm every day until he died in order to “secure” it. I’m not from what you would consider an “active” family - we don’t do sports or run, but we all walk basically everywhere, and my older relatives who are retired will walk to their volunteer jobs and social arrangements. My Nan used to tell me off when I would drive to her house (40 min walk) 😭.

Also all the old timers in my family have popping social lives. Could not leave the house with my grandad without him seeing one of his pals, either from the charity shop he worked at or from one of his clubs he attended. Always had to stop and chat to everyone, all the time. Considering he smoked and drank heavily as did all my grandparents, it is a wonder they lived so long.

Personality and attitude together with a good disposition i.e. no depression. Add in being active for even a small part of every day, and having an interest in something. If able to travel do it.

BTW that's me at 70, single now and I do have some health issues which I accept as my fate and lean into it. My peers are settling for sedentary living and that's fine, but they never stop complaining! 😊

My parents are in their late 70’s and haven’t slowed down a bit. My mum has a trainer twice a week, volunteers one full day a week, has her book club, plays bridge at least twice a week, they eat out several times a week, still entertains, picks up my nephew from school once a week and goes to the theatre, cinema and exhibitions all the time

my dad is similar, he doesn’t have a trainer but has a walking group with his friends, he’s very involved with the committee of his faith space, he is trustee of 2 charities and also volunteers giving financial advice for a charity. Obviously he also does the exhibitions theatre cinema etc etc with my mum

they also travel loads, like proper travelling not going to a hotel and sitting there. They go anywhere from Europe to China / Japan / india all touring around

I’m hoping they get at least another 10 years of doing this.