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Elderly parents

legal elderly housing advice needed

41 replies

ednaclouda · 29/09/2026 20:02

legal question - if dad 97 recently widowed Call him Lewis
NOT LISTED ON MORTGAGE DEEDS has paid into the household for 35+ years has a good pension (army) thats been paying ALL the bills for spouse Call her millie who has recently died

lewis and millie are married 35 years ago. again. he's not on the deeds

Lewis in a wheelchair we can't get a guarantor to fund his care costs to go into a residential home where he would thrive and hv a much better life quality
millies chldren want him to sign a lifetime residency (don't know what this is )

I KNOW HE'S NOT ON THE DEEDS I KNOW THIS DONT KEEP BRINGING IT UP

Millies kids will start pushing for the house money how can I find out if they have begun contentious probate
a will was drawn up july 2025 by both of them but we have gp + nhs paperwork that is dated april 2025 where millie has been diagnosed with dementia I dont want dad drwn into legal solictor lagal mess cos it just stresses him out.

millies kids are back stabbing and underhand and lewis is scared that hes going to be put out of the house. what is my next move how do we get evidence of 35 years of keeping the house going by Lewis HIM.

advice please not just stating facts he's not on the deeds.
I know this.
I know this

OP posts:
mybiggreenfrog · 29/09/2026 23:06

If he's got £200k in the house, agree to sell so he can be cared for in a residential home. At 97, it's thr best way forward.

mybiggreenfrog · 29/09/2026 23:01

ednaclouda · 29/09/2026 22:55

Millies kids want the house - if lewis isnt named on the deeds
how can we fight this as he's not the 'owner' of the house
they were married for 35 years so is it common law rules or what ..... ?
I'd like Dad to change the locks but is that illegal ....
just don't want dad aged 97 to be drawn into a legal battle that would stress him out

Who did Millie leave God house to in her will? If Lewus, get him to change the locks.

ednaclouda · 29/09/2026 22:59

NoctuaAthene · 29/09/2026 22:54

Need to know which country of the UK please as England/Wales have different laws to Scotland/n Ireland. Also did Millie have a will and what did it say? As Millie's spouse, Lewis likely has a claim to reasonable provision even if she disinherited him entirely from the will in favour of her children. Or if she died without a will he will be able to claim a substantial part of her estate if not all under intestacy rules...

the july 2025 will states
50% of EVERYTHING to go to millies children
50% of evrything to go to Lewis children

everything estate, property, jewellry
How can `millies children get the 400k house ?????

hence millies children wanting lewis to sign a lifetime tenancy ?

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 29/09/2026 22:58

He was married to her so whatever she had in her estate passes to him

Especially if you say the other will was invalid due to a dementia diagnosis- if that is true tho no solicitor would have allowed her to make a will

socialdilemmawhattodo · 29/09/2026 22:56

Take a breath. You have time. Don't panic. Yes the outcome might not be what you and/or Lewis want, but you have time. Sorry for his loss and the death of your step-mum. Her family will be feeling that loss. I would suggest that regardless of house/financial issue that you meet/call and see if there are personal/family items they would like? Assuming will didnt specify otherwise. That might reassure that family that you ie your family intend to deal with them fairly.

ednaclouda · 29/09/2026 22:55

Millies kids want the house - if lewis isnt named on the deeds
how can we fight this as he's not the 'owner' of the house
they were married for 35 years so is it common law rules or what ..... ?
I'd like Dad to change the locks but is that illegal ....
just don't want dad aged 97 to be drawn into a legal battle that would stress him out

OP posts:
NoctuaAthene · 29/09/2026 22:54

ednaclouda · 29/09/2026 22:46

uk

Need to know which country of the UK please as England/Wales have different laws to Scotland/n Ireland. Also did Millie have a will and what did it say? As Millie's spouse, Lewis likely has a claim to reasonable provision even if she disinherited him entirely from the will in favour of her children. Or if she died without a will he will be able to claim a substantial part of her estate if not all under intestacy rules...

AKindOfCrowing · 29/09/2026 22:53

KittyWilkinson · 29/09/2026 22:50

What part of the UK? Different law may apply depending upon where they are.

Yes! There are a lot of differences between Scotland, NI, and England & Wales.

OP, there are different legal jurisdictions within the UK. Are we to assume the house and the situation involved are within England & Wales?

LIZS · 29/09/2026 22:53

Does Lewis still have capacity or is there a lpoa in place?

KittyWilkinson · 29/09/2026 22:50

What part of the UK? Different law may apply depending upon where they are.

ednaclouda · 29/09/2026 22:49

Neveranynamesleft · 29/09/2026 20:05

Many solicitors do a free half hour session, you could put your case to them to see where you stand.

we have spoken to the solic that witnessed and wrote up this july 2025 Will
he's just quoting data protection and GDPR rules at me

Was asking if he had received a 'contentious probate reuest but I dont know if he is allowed legally to tell me unsure unsure

OP posts:
ednaclouda · 29/09/2026 22:46

AKindOfCrowing · 29/09/2026 20:05

Which country is this happening in?

uk

OP posts:
ZoeyBartlett · 29/09/2026 20:06

If they were married it’s irrelevant he is not on deeds. See a solicitor asap xxx

AKindOfCrowing · 29/09/2026 20:05

Which country is this happening in?

Neveranynamesleft · 29/09/2026 20:05

Many solicitors do a free half hour session, you could put your case to them to see where you stand.

rwalker · 29/09/2026 20:05

There were married so I’d presume the name on the deeds is irrelevant it was a marital asset
depends what Millie left her share to