Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

Keeping people safe in a care home.

18 replies

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 05/09/2026 23:14

My friend is in a care home and while I was visiting, another resident (I think he has dementia) came into my friends room. When I said it wasn’t his room. He starting punching me multiple times in the head and torso. I managed to get away and immediately ran into a nurse, who I reported it to. I’m happy with the way the incident was handled and have no concerns about that. But it made me wonder how on earth they can possibly keep more vulnerable residents safe. Doors tend to be left open and call bells so are not always answered quickly. I could get away, but they can’t. The bloke was very tall and strong. Just wondering really, as it’s playing on my mind.

OP posts:
InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 05/09/2026 23:15

The home is generally pretty good.

OP posts:
HalfMumHalfBiccit · 05/09/2026 23:16

That does not sound safe at all

vodkaredbullgirl · 05/09/2026 23:26

The home should have a safe guarding policy.

15 minute watching of the resident.
Referral to the Safe guarding team
1-1 care.

Just a few off the top of my head.

AluckyEllie · 05/09/2026 23:34

Doesn’t sound safe at all, sounds like he needs a more secure unit. Sometimes a patients condition changes, he may have been non aggressive and deteriorated so that he now is- but the staff should identify they cannot provide the care he needs and move him on. I guess it’s tricky though if there are no spaces available for more intense needs, where does he go whilst he waits.

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 06/09/2026 08:43

I think they put him on a 1:1, as he also went for a carer. The nurse did say that he was no longer on medication that he used to be on, but that he needed to restart it.

OP posts:
ControversialThoughts · 06/09/2026 09:05

I know this is controversal, hence the change of user name, but if the OP was assaulted why did she not call the police?
Why do we accept such behaviour from anyone?
I am sure the police would have sensible suggestions which might be a more secure home or a simple lock on his door.

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 06/09/2026 10:40

@ControversialThoughtsthey did say that they could involve the police, it was my choice. But what good would that do? He’s an elderly man with dementia, not a criminal. If they had pushed me to go to the police to gather evidence as part of a bigger issue then I would have done.

OP posts:
InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 06/09/2026 10:41

You can’t lock people in their rooms.

OP posts:
Darragon · 06/09/2026 10:45

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 06/09/2026 10:41

You can’t lock people in their rooms.

I thought you could if a DOLS was in place? At the very least they can put him in a secure home or a secure part of this home. When people start walking around lamping others, they generally don’t get left out and about to keep doing it, regardless of age or capacity.

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 06/09/2026 12:46

I believe he’d also managed to break out of a fire door. So the staff are well aware there is an escalating issue. Hopefully they will act appropriately. Pretty sure they will. The manager has his head screwed on. I could get away, it’s the people who can’t that concern me. My friend was upset that he could t help, which is probably a good thing or it wouldn’t have ended well.

OP posts:
serendipit · 06/09/2026 12:55

My gran was moved to a mental hospital from her care home for a short spell to stabilise her meds when she became aggressive with dementia. She was hitting the other patients with her walking stick when they were in bed to get them up. It was quite a sudden change in behaviour and she had never been aggressive before in her life.
She was 4ft 10 and 90 years old so unlikely to do much damage but she drew blood on one of the other patient’s head. I think it is quite common and their behaviour can change quite quickly. I would be happy if the care home management are dealing with it effectively now.

I wouldn’t call the police either - it’s not the patient’s fault.

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 14/09/2026 16:14

I saw the manager today, who told me the the man who assaulted me had been put back on his medication. And checked I was happy with the way it had been handled at the time. Which I was. So that’s reassuring.

OP posts:
Elieza · 14/09/2026 19:57

i hope it works.

because if not it could well be your friend he punches in the stomach or face or whatever. Would she have capacity to tell you if that happens? It’s awful that our loved ones may have to live in fear in their “own home”.

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 15/09/2026 10:30

@Eliezait wasn’t my friend I was worried about, he’s not frail. It was the little old ladies that I was more concerned about. Apparently the man used to be a soldier, so thought he was out on patrol. Which is just so sad.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 15/09/2026 18:17

Ok I’m quite concerned at several things here. The home staff should not have told you medical information about another patient, either after the incident or later on. Yes I think you should have been actively encouraged at the least to get medical attention at the time, perhaps the police. For the safety of everyone involved, including the violent man, these incidents need to be taken seriously. I think this home is struggling and being poorly managed and I would be either visiting more often with a view to gathering information, or escalating this incident now.

Suzyloo · 15/09/2026 20:47

Your experience is very concerning, on multiple levels. Even if the attacker is an "old man with dementia", he could still kill someone. I remember this story about an elderly lady in a care home killed by another resident: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckgpy8877pwo If a resident cannot control their violent behaviour, they need to be in a secure facility. The other residents are not emotional support punching bags.

A friend's father was in a home a few years ago and another resident would go into other rooms and get into bed even if the beds had people in them. My friend complained but just got a shrug from the staff. Apparently he was well known for doing it.

I've never understood why care homes don't have a door locking system that allows (non-violent) residents to get out of their rooms if they want to, while stopping others from getting in. Even the cheapest hotels manage it, and the staff have a master access card to allow for cleaning and emergencies.

A brown fence, with a white sign, printed with the words WINDMILL CARE HOME on it.

Rollesby care home resident dies after alleged attack

A suspect arrested on suspicion of attempted murder is sectioned under the Mental Health Act.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckgpy8877pwo

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 17/09/2026 08:19

@PermanentTemporaryI didn’t need medical attention, I had a couple of sore spots on my head. But was otherwise un injured. I don’t think
the home is poorly managed at all. The manger knows me well. And the staff go out of their way for my friend. It got a good CQC report. They didn’t give me any specific medical details. Just that medication that has been stopped has been restarted.

OP posts:
Tiggy2000 · 19/09/2026 16:45

ControversialThoughts · 06/09/2026 09:05

I know this is controversal, hence the change of user name, but if the OP was assaulted why did she not call the police?
Why do we accept such behaviour from anyone?
I am sure the police would have sensible suggestions which might be a more secure home or a simple lock on his door.

You can’t just lock someone in, that requires a ‘deprivation of liberty’ agreement, but it does sound like the man needs more supervision, especially as the residents are probably very vulnerable.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page