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Elderly parents

Having to choose a care home for someone else

27 replies

tobee · 02/09/2026 04:16

Has anyone got any experience of choosing a care home for their parents or parent or other relative?

I just wanted to share worries and concerns and thoughts. I’m right in the middle of this now.

I keep worrying that I’ll choose badly and that my parents will complain and I’ll feel it’s my responsibility because of what I chose.

My mum keeps saying different things about what she wants and she says she wants to go to home but is worried about the speed. I’m trying to reassure her. My dad with dementia doesn’t want to go at all.

The house is likely to go on the market soon and that will also be difficult.

Im particularly looking to hear from others for the personal experiences but any thoughts generally would be appreciated

To clarify it’s not so much how to find a care home or the practical stuff it’s more the emotions.

OP posts:
Firefliesdancing · 02/09/2026 06:32

I’m sorry this is happening to you…is there a possibility of an alternative…not already is it possible they could downsize to a small bungalow and use the rest of the money for a carer?

Mixymaxymoxy · 02/09/2026 06:21

Where’s the bigger picture? Why are they going into a home? Are they planning to go together / to the same home?

why do you have to choose? you can help them, sure, but it doesn’t sound like they are at the stage of needing you to do the choosing, surely.